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Dream breakers

Giant record-breaking waves are crashing in Hawaii as we speak. A surfer’s paradise, they say. Full story

Whenever I hear talk of huge waves, I’m instantly taken back to the dreams I used to have. Those terrible tidal wave dreams.

As a kid, I constantly worked at mastering my dreams. Mastering to me meant the skill of waking myself up on a whim during an intense nightmare. The ability to distinguish dreamworld from reality, while you still reside in said dreamworld, is not an easy feat. Sometimes I was successful, other times I wasn’t. I can say that more often than not – the scales usually tipped in my favor.

Whenever I would have these ‘wave dreams’, I was never in the same environment. Sometimes it was in a rental house – other times a hotel, or even a restaurant. One thing remained a constant, though – I was always right there on the coast when it ‘came’.

I would see it coming in the distance, far enough away to give me that gut-wrenching 60 seconds or so of impending doom. I would know I’d met my fate, and realized I must accept that those were to be the last few moments of my life. Depending on my location, sometimes I would try to run away from it – this often bought me a few extra seconds. Other times I would just accept my fate and let the water consume me.

Anyone who knows me knows that I love to analyze dreams. This one’s no exception, so here goes.

To see a tidal wave in your dream represents an overwhelming emotional issue that demands attention. You may have been keeping your feelings and negative emotions bottled up inside for too long. On a positive note, the tidal wave symbolizes the clearing away of old beliefs. If you are carried away by the tidal wave, then it signifies that you are ready to make a brand new start in a new place.
Interpretation courtesy http://dreammoods.com

The picture I found below most closely resembles what I’ve seen in my dreams – from the sheer mass of the wave in front of me right down to the color. It’s been quite a while since I’ve had a tidal wave nightmare. Now that I really think about it, I haven’t had one in over a year and a half. I wouldn’t go so far as to say I’ll never have another one – but for the time being, I believe that signifies a certain hurdle or set of obstacles I’ve overcome.

Full frontal view. Comin' straight at ya, baby.

Posted by  |  December 9, 2009 | Categories: Dreams | Leave a comment

Christmas pasts

No, I didn’t spell it wrong, or mis-phrase it. The way it reads just makes more sense to me. Not Christmases, or Christmases past. But rather the many ‘pasts‘ that stick out in my mind whenever I think of Christmas.

Barringer. A brand new pair of shiny black patent leather lace-up boots from my uncle and aunt. Came all the way up to my knees, they did. I laced ’em up right there on the couch as soon as I unwrapped them, my family laughing while my uncle videotaped me. Back then, these videos landed on movie reels. That same year in ’73 I got a jewelry box slammed full of jewelry…. I felt like a princess with all that bling. A princess with mega bling and shiny black boots. I didn’t know it at the time, but the pattern of my taste in life was forming, even then.

Collingwood. Mom and Mammaw had both worked that Christmas eve. Still in her uniform, Mammaw was so exhausted that she laid down in the floor right underneath that Christmas tree. My uncle, Mom’s youngest brother, trotted in with many bags and a huge stuffed dog that was taller than me. That dog ended up being mine, it was too big to wrap. Every year he would go out on Christmas eve and to do his Christmas shopping, hauling the load in at the last minute for Mom and Mammaw to wrap up. That night, Mom laid down with me to get me to sleep so that Santa could come. She fell asleep with me, and Mammaw decided to let her sleep. Later that night, through the bedroom window, I saw my Mammaw and uncle dragging a new bike in for me – to Bon, from Santa. 🙂

Old Dowd. A box FULL of new books. Not any old box – I’m talking a box of epic proportions. There must’ve been 40-50 new books in that one box. The Little House on the Prairie collection, several Tom Sawyer adventures, Little Women, and so many more that I can’t remember. I recall sleeping with some of those books that night, the smell of fresh new books was intoxicating. It was an awesome gift that I enjoyed for many years, from my loving Mama.

Hartford. Ham and lots of goodies to eat. Great uncle J talking with no one listening. My first pair of designer jeans, Calvin Klein himself embroidered on the rear pocket. They were too small and had to be exchanged later, but it was official – I was now cool. Maybe not in my peers eyes, but definitely in my own! Archie, the family dog, gets to experience his once-a-year visit inside the house – much resembling the running of the bulls with the addition of a red Christmas bow stuck to his head.

Ever notice the memories of your childhood Christmas pasts usually involve the gifts you received? The ones that made the biggest impact on you often stick in your memory like glue.

Sloan. My Mother’s boyfriend. I wasn’t so sure about this guy…. didn’t think his intentions were quite up to par with what I knew she deserved. Besides, who did he think he was trying to horn in on our family time? I go my own way, where I want, when I want. Hell I just moved back in from being gone for almost a year, and this guy’s practically running the show. Then again, my Mammaw seems to like him. Mammaw’s a pretty good judge of character, and she’s rarely wrong. Hmm, he gave me a stereo for Christmas. This guy may not be all bad. I’ll just have to keep my eye on him.

Fort Mill. My precious little baby girl made out like a bandit, and I’m so glad. Christmas is different now, somehow… I can’t quite put my finger on why, but know enough to realize it involves the newest part of me – my baby daughter. So THIS is why they say that children make Christmas. I have a family of my own now, added to my existing family, plus my new extended family – that of my husbands. Wow, this holds promise of getting a bit hectic. But hey, that’s Christmas! Oh, and that boyfriend of Mom’s? He’s now my stepdaddy, and pawpaw to my baby girl. And a fine job he’s doing at both.

Abbey/Village Lake. Blessed Christmases. Always blessed, always getting way more than we deserve. It’s not necessarily gifts that stick out in my mind now, rather it’s the multitude of bounties our families bestow upon us during Christmas that seems to always catch us up. We all truly have an abundance, thanks given to our families and God. Okay, there is one time around this era where gifts really do stick out. That would be the Christmas when my husband accidentally threw all his gifts away.

Scarlet. Mammaw’s sick. Really sick. She insisted on getting through Christmas without a hospital visit, but this was a bad idea. She can barely breathe, both her face and body are really swollen. Congestive heart failure is what it ends up being – little did we know then. Fast forward to another Christmas. Pawpaw isn’t feeling well. He’s trying to deal, but running a fever, thinks it’s the flu. It might’ve been the flu then. But it wasn’t the flu that caused his heart to fail in front of us two weeks later.

Poplar Forest. New house, and so proud to have Christmas here. Much has changed in past years, we have two who are no longer with us and are reminded of that pain especially during the holidays. Baby girl is continuing to grow into a fine young lady – downside of this is gifts are getting much harder to pick for her. My most memorable gift – my wedding ring set that my husband had reset from yellow into white gold, given to me on Christmas eve. Little did either of us know then of what was to come in the near future.

Hamilton’s Harbor. I have only one Christmas here, so far – but in a couple of weeks I’ll have two, and with that more memories made. The one Christmas here consisted mainly of my past memories. This can be a good thing, as well as being detrimental – but I have to remember that every single thing we’ve experienced and endured in our lives shapes the person we are today. You either learn and grow… or you let it defeat you. Things change, life changes, and we must go on.

‘God gave us memory so that we might have roses in December.’ ~James Matthew Barrie, Scottish dramatist & novelist; best known as the creator of Peter Pan

Posted by  |  December 8, 2009 | Categories: Holidays, Thoughts | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Good morning, deer

This year I’m having even more trouble getting into Christmas than last year, and that’s saying a lot. The push to get myself started shopping yesterday ran into about 4 in the afternoon. Needless to say, the stores were jammed. I could swear that this one crying child followed me literally everywhere I went. ‘Tis the season.

By the time I got home I was, um, feeling my age. I just don’t remember being so tired after shopping last year. I excused it by reminding myself that I don’t go out and shop for long lengths of time regularly anyway, that this was a ‘shock to the ole body’. Shock the monkey.

Still, I’m constantly reminded of the fact that Christmas is over commercialized. This makes it tougher by the year, for me anyway, to ‘get into’ the season. Just for once I’d like to plan a trip to leave on Christmas Day or even New Years and just get the hell outta Dodge for a couple days. No responsibilities, just leave it all behind. I know a couple of people who do this. One year I’ll do it myself….

I just went by the hallway window at work where five very graceful deer stood grazing on the front lawn. I stood motionless (for a second anyway) before running back for my camera. I returned with camera in one hand, cam-phone in the other – and right away notice that they’re onto me. All five were staring straight at me – it was so funny looking, an intoxicating moment to have an entire herd of wildlife looking straight at you. I managed to get a shot of two with my regular camera, but not the entire pack (sad face). I’ll post it when I get home to my cord. The deer just made my day, quite possibly my entire week. 🙂

I’ll letcha know on that.

Two of the five

Posted by  |  December 7, 2009 | Categories: Animals, Miscellaneous, Thoughts, Work | Leave a comment

Carolina Blue Skies

Off to our annual doctor visits we go today, my daughter and I. We schedule our visits together every year so we can share in each other’s misery. It’s definitely something we look forward to every year about as much as taking a swift kick in the ass. But it’s also together time, and I grasp at every bit of that I can get. The carolina blue sky outside today kinda sweetens the deal.

And so the sweet aroma of Friday has finally crept in. A couple of days rest will do a body good. Still having much trouble believing the first week of December has almost passed! I’ve already resolved myself that I’ll be one of the late shoppers this year. Heck most people I know are already finished their shopping. I’ve actually decided to make a game out of it for myself and see how late I can start without running right on past Christmas.

TGIF, wishing everyone a long and happy weekend. 🙂

Posted by  |  December 4, 2009 | Categories: Miscellaneous | Leave a comment

Raindrops and candlelight

The rain was so heavy and unyielding tonight it almost overpowered my tunes. I certainly didn’t mind it though, it gave me a reason to stay inside and get a good meal cooked. And a relaxing night it was.

I placed the ground beef in the fryer on low and popped open a beer, which I don’t really drink much of anymore but had a few left over, so figured what the hell. Lit a few candles, turned on the Christmas tree lights and some low music in the background. The kitchen was fully lit, the rest of the place illuminated only by the Christmas tree and burning candles.

How I do love to cook. That is, when not under pressure to cook. Preparing a good meal is relaxing to me; it releases my mind from other thoughts and almost provides a certain sense of purpose. I won’t claim to be the best cook out there, for sure – but there are a handful of dishes that I’ve perfected, at least in my own eyes. Who says you have to be an expert at something to enjoy it, anyway? My favorite meal to prepare would be the spaghetti I cooked tonight. Since I now add the ingredients that I like, such as onions, peppers, diced tomatoes, and various spices including my cayenne, the dish is so very tasty. Chopping those onions and peppers seemed almost therapeutic.

As I looked around me, I took a sip of my beer and remembered how very lucky I was to have all this. The very simple things. To come home from work, kick my shoes off in my warm dry place. To have food to cook, beer to drink. Electricity, a nice hot shower after I eat. Relaxing while listening to the rain outside, warm candlelight glowing – I’m feeling blessed. Looking around myself and my surroundings, I remember to be ever so thankful for them.

Posted by  |  December 3, 2009 | Categories: Food, Miscellaneous, Thoughts | Leave a comment

Decorating for one

For the second year, my little artificial tree looks good decorated. I remember when I bought it last December, the first Christmas on ‘my own’. My daughter had insisted I get a tree – even threatening to buy one for me and bring it over, so my hand was forced in putting one up. I made the trip to the local Walmart and picked out the least expensive artificial tree I could find. At least it matched my height – I didn’t want one shorter than me. As I tracked around browsing the different trees, the fact seemed to rush me that I was the only single person in that section. This particular evening, all the couples seemed to be happy and laughing. I hurried to the checkout to pay for my purchase and was crying by the time I hit the parking lot. Yeah, pity party is right. Those came quite easily back then.

I look back to that day and compare where I’m at now. What’s changed? What’s remained the same?

It was never my ‘wish’ to be alone. It was something that had to happen – something that I was going to have to learn to deal with, and adjust to, period. The path proved to be a long one. Having been married my entire adult life, I had to face the task of acquainting myself with Bonnie. I had to learn to know her, realize her flaws, her weaknesses, as well as the good things, like her kindnesses and warmth. From this came being able to accept myself, then like myself. A long journey it was – but yes, finally came loving myself. The old saying happens to be true, that if you don’t love yourself, no one else can love you either. That’s the part that has changed since last December.

What hasn’t changed is the fact that I still live alone – which really isn’t so much of a hindrance anymore. My loved ones still remain all around me.

Oh, and as of yesterday, something else that has changed…. I’m now also the proud owner of a Christmas door wreath. 🙂

Posted by  |  December 2, 2009 | Categories: Holidays, Love, Thoughts | Leave a comment

Infidelity in relationships

Where to start. I’ll say first that this isn’t going to be one of those life-coaching type blogs. I’m no expert on any subject, especially this one. Once in a while though, I do feel the need to touch on the topic – being how it’s affected the lives of some loved ones as well as my own.

I always revert back to one simple word, or question. WHY.

Why do it? Is it really that irresistible of an urge to step outside of your relationship and have sex with another person? I cannot fathom having caused that type of pain to my former spouse of so many years. It’s just something that never entered my head. Does that make me a ‘good person’? NO. I don’t want a ‘pat on the back’ for keeping my promise of monogamy in my marriage.

Infidelity inflicts pain on your partner that can last a lifetime. Whether you choose to work through it and perhaps save your relationship, or to eventually move on – the initial impact will lessen with time, but the scars will remain forever.

I found a very good website that I’d like to share, the link is below. Out of any site I’ve ever found dedicated to the subject, this one is very informative in so many areas.

For a great site, go here.

Posted by  |  December 1, 2009 | Categories: Life Struggles, Relationships | Leave a comment

Danger ahead, matey…

I don’t understand life sometimes. Although I’m well aware that all of us are different, I simply fail to understand people’s rational on some decisions they make. Or, failure to make decisions.

I was advised a long long time ago ‘you’d better look out for yourself, because no one else is gonna do it’. That old saying is true in most cases. I say in most cases because, well, if you have someone in your life who really loves and cares for you deeply, THEY WILL look out for you. That’s how it’s supposed to work, anyway.

At times I feel the entire world is going nuts. Or, maybe it’s me that’s going nuts and everyone else is just sitting back watching the show. In any case – you cannot live other’s lives for them, nor can you interfere. Where’s the fine line between giving good advice and interfering? Who knows, and there again, everyone’s perception on this is different.

When it comes to a loved one, if you saw something disastrous lurking in the background, would you confront them with it? Warn them, try to give advice? If you were on the receiving end, would you as the loved one being warned actually heed the advice? Or perhaps take offense to it, perhaps thinking this person doesn’t believe you’re intelligent enough to handle your own problems – a problem that hasn’t even arisen yet anyway?

When you care a great deal for someone, the choice can be tough to warn of an inevitable danger that lies ahead or keep your mouth shut. If not prepared, when the inevitable does happen – your loved one usually ends up being caught in a tight spot with either time, money, or a combination of things NOT being on their side.

I’ve definitely had to learn the hard way myself on this. I’m sorry to say, even in recent times, that it’s taken me way longer than it should have to open my ears and listen, I mean really pay attention. I’ve had to take a crash course. My Mother and my Daughter have taught me more this past year than I could ever begin to write here. I have a Mother who is wise beyond her years and a Daughter who’s maturity for her age is amazing. Even having said this, do you know how hard it can be to take advice from your Mother and your Daughter? No offense to either of them, I love them both more than life itself. Once I started really listening, it became evident to them. It created a bond of mutual respect, and perhaps in turn, lent slightly more credibility to my own advice to them.

Bottom line, you don’t have to heed advice, any or all of it. But if the loved one that’s giving you the advice is reputable enough that you trust them, at least listen to them, instead of arguing your point from the very beginning. With your open ears, and open heart… just listen – and they will know you are listening.

But if, with your closed mind, you rebuke the person enough times – your message will have been delivered. Which is, what they have to say just isn’t worth listening to. The kind of damage this causes can be irreparable.

Posted by  |  November 28, 2009 | Categories: Relationships, Thoughts | Leave a comment

Thanksgiving Day

Thanksgiving. Work is done and now comes the reward – a four-day weekend. Here arrives the onset of all the holiday time off from work that has me spoiled by January, when everything’s over and schedules revert back to normal.

How I love Thanksgiving. The things I love about it? Most important would definitely be the quality time with family. I’ve gotta admit that all that good food runs a not-so-far-away second.

For years now, my favorite thing to do on Thanksgiving morning is to watch the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade in my jammies. That comes on in about an hour. I’ll then flip it over to the later parades, my very favorite being the one in Hawaii. I always imagine myself there in person watching it, hanging out underneath the palm trees, the warm tropical air brushing my skin. If I were to close my eyes during this imagery I’d even smell the coconuts and flowers, and taste the salt from the sea.

A Thanksgiving Day paper is mandatory. Last year I had to go without this precious commodity – well I wasn’t gonna let that happen again. I’ll be damned if I wasn’t up at the crack of dawn this morning to get one, and I scored. The infamous 3-inch thick Thanksgiving Day paper containing all the black Friday ads that we love to browse through while waiting on the feast to be served. Even if I can’t go out and shop, it’s a bit of a Thanksgiving tradition for me to browse through all those ads.

Thanksgiving also ushers in the irrefutable kickoff to the Christmas season, bringing with it that little rush of adrenaline. Oh, only a month now to get everything done! What to do….

I know what I’m doing. My plans of cooking were cancelled, being how my daughter and I are sick puppies. People don’t want to come over at a sick persons house to eat, understandably. I’ll just cook the turkey this weekend so as not to waste it. And today – I’ll watch my parades, browse through a bunch ‘o black Friday ads, sit around and count my many blessings, and take my babygirl out to eat at a nice restaurant tonight. We already have an awesome place picked out.

Posted by  |  November 26, 2009 | Categories: Holidays, Thoughts | Leave a comment

Wanted

This morning the river is a dark blueish gray, calm enough – with the bottom of the sky stark-white leading up to the very darkest-of-dark stormy grays. It casts a hue that mutes down and darkens the colors on almost everything around you. It could almost be a scene pulled straight out of the movie Dolores Claiborne.

At the risk of sounding psychotic, I’ve decided to write of my experience last night. Once in a while I’ll have an incident that’s caught somewhere between my conscious and subconscious, and lingers with me for awhile. This was one of those times.

I barely slept at all – mainly because of this kickass cold I’ve got going on. I was awake every hour, stealing a glance at the clock every so often even though I tried not to. About 3am, my eyes made out my two-piece dresser in front of me – which spans almost to the ceiling by itself, and has a picture and a plant on top. The moon outside my window created an almost flawless image on it. It was the image of a woman, with a pair of lone arms wrapped around her.

I was mesmerized by it. No, I was not delusional from being sick (or otherwise, lol). I hadn’t taken any meds before bed. It was simply captivating in it’s own serenity. The being who’s arms embraced the woman remained completely hidden behind her; never needing to be unveiled fully to prove their importance to her. The mere presence was felt even stronger by means of residing in the shadows.

The feeling it gave me goes beyond what I’m able to put into words. Warm… peaceful. I couldn’t look away, and didn’t want to – for fear I would lose this most precious site before me, or that it would suddenly reform into something else.

Demi Moore is doing a huge ad campaign for her new perfume, Wanted. I watched a few videos last night, and I won’t argue the fact they probably decided to hang around in my subconscious. ‘What does it mean to you, to be wanted?’ she asked. Such a thought-provoking question. There are endless possibilities as to the answers – on multiple levels. So, I’m taken back to what I originally thought when I first saw that image.

This was the form of a woman who was Wanted.

Posted by  |  November 25, 2009 | Categories: Dreams, Hollywood | 1 Comment

To Adore or Abhor

It seems like everybody else is doing one of these, so I figure why not me? Yeah, yeah you say… if your buddy jumps off a bridge are you gonna do it too? To which I respond, of course not. But maybe if I was guaranteed a soft landing, and the ride down looked enticing enough…..

Things I Like:
That first good whiff of a clean towel when I get out of the shower •• Daydreaming •• The smell of the beach, every little smell •• Seashells •• When a baby smiles at me – it’s the purest thing you’ll ever see •• Wrigley’s 5 gum •• Being told ‘I love you’ •• A very cold can of diet coke •• Fresh flowers •• Well-written love stories •• Time off from work •• Photography •• The first sip of a freshly opened bottle of white merlot •• The ocean, the lakes, the rivers •• Sunrises and sunsets •• Naps in the afternoons •• Big bright windows •• British accents •• Smeagol/Gollum •• Nostalgic moments •• Butterflies •• A few moments of true belly-laughter •• Payday •• Animals – and people who love them •• Flip flops •• Naturally funny people •• Hugs and kisses for no reason at all •• Long hot showers and baths •• Character •• The smell of fresh cut grass •• Writing •• Elderly people •• Annual Saturday sheet changes •• Jalapenos •• Rainy Sundays •• Witnessing a romantic moment •• Dissecting my dreams •• Gentlemen who hold the door open for me •• Finding God in unexpected places •• Manners •• Music that corresponds with my mood •• Witnessing acts of kindness •• The open road before me •• Sleeping in on weekends •• People-watching, minus the creepy •• Singing •• Baking during Christmas •• Being alone

Things I Dislike:
Drama of any flavor •• Parents that are bossed around by their kids •• An angry drunk •• A liar •• A cheapskate •• People that shun caffeine of any sort for spiritual or any other reason •• Pick-up lines •• Abortions •• People that hate having their picture taken and constantly stick to it •• Telemarketers •• Idolatry of any kind •• Animal abusers •• Spouses who raise their hand in anger •• Traffic and bad drivers •• A rude or otherwise loud person – minus a’million points to the boastful atheist •• Alarm clocks •• Barack Hussein Obama •• Confrontation •• People who use people •• Loose females •• Bad breath. Bad hygiene, period – only homelessness can validate this •• Terrorists •• Chewing tobacco •• Spiders •• Foods within shells •• Overly negative people •• Cheating spouses •• People who stop at yield signs •• Pain •• Broken promises •• Habaneros •• Bad grammar •• Drunk drivers •• Being sick •• People who underestimate me •• People who judge me •• The “I can top that” person •• Pornography •• Close-toed shoes •• Being financially unstable •• Extreme heat and cold •• Being alone

Posted by  |  November 24, 2009 | Categories: Opinion, Thoughts, Writing | Leave a comment

Productivity

I accomplished more than I thought I would for a Sunday, they’re usually unproductive days for me. On an average Sunday you can usually find me basking in my last few precious hours of freedom before another workweek begins.

Before noon hit, I had made it to a couple of grocery stores in search of the prized Thanksgiving turkey, along with some necessities for myself to get me through until payday. Unfortunately, even a few of those necessities had to wait. It does suck to run out of money between paychecks – but I am eating, have a warm home and really too many other blessings to count so I won’t take that one any further.

Once I got my few bags upstairs, I took a good look around the apartment. The rain outside had already labeled the day a good cleaning day. By mid-afternoon I’d gotten 3 loads of laundry done, the extra bathroom cleaned, a good dusting of the place, and my closet changed over from summer to winter. That last chore I’d put off so long that I thought it may end up turning spring again and I wouldn’t have to do it.

Now here it is, slightly past dinnertime (and I’ve eaten) and I’m on schedule for my shower, enabling me to relax for the rest of the night. It does feel good to have a certain sense of accomplishment for the day. For once, I had a semi-productive Sunday.

Posted by  |  November 23, 2009 | Categories: Miscellaneous | Leave a comment

Long hand, short hand

As I sit here staring at a blank page, I wonder how I can have so much bottled up in me that I’d like to say but run into these blocks. Blockages, I like to call them – it just sounds funny. My life has pretty much always been an open book, and blogging does release some of the built-up tension that daily life tends to generate.

Me Time. Everyone needs it. Heck it’s mandatory in life just to maintain one’s sanity. Some people have too much, while some poor souls don’t have enough. Is there ever an instance where a person has the ‘perfect amount’?

Regroup Time. Another must-have. A branch-off of the Me Time, if you will. Just how much time is needed for Regroup Time? This surely will differ with each individual. At this point, I’m thinking my own requirements run really low on this one.

Wait Time. The amount of time allotted to yourself for another person’s Regroup Time. Once again, this differs from person to person. It could span a day, several days, a week or more. My experience would be the longer the span, the greater the possibility that a problem exists.

I’ve got plenty of Me Time. No complaints about my Regroup Time, either. These days though, I seem to be overflowing with Wait Time. I’m not sure why, really. I think it may be time to step back and re-evaluate what I should be looking for and if I may be taking things too seriously myself. With the winter months coming up I’m preparing to retreat back into my shell anyway, so I’ll have plenty of time to reach into the ole’ inner core.

Posted by  |  November 21, 2009 | Categories: Relationships, Thoughts | Leave a comment

Crying

This is all I have today. What can I say, I love Miss Silverstone… and I very simply adore Steven Tyler and Aerosmith. If you decide to watch – make sure you watch ’til the end. So Worth It. TGIF everyone.

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x28wk_aerosmith-cryin

Posted by  |  November 20, 2009 | Categories: Emotions, Music | Leave a comment

Frugal or cheap?

A frugal person usually isn’t afraid to spend money. They do insist on getting the most out of their dollar, though. A frugal person always shops around for the best prices and comparable services. They often have a system in place for this since they are usually well organized people.

A cheap person won’t spend money unless absolutely necessary. When they do have to spend, oftentimes it’s become somewhat of an emergency. Lowest cost is of utmost importance – never mind the competency of service or quality of an item. They will often speak in an agitated manner about having to spend their money. Cheap people simply cannot understand why they can’t get something for free.

A cheap person in a mate is a huge turnoff. To all you cheap guys out there – if you are fearful about taking out your wallet for that once-a-week dinner you take your girl to, rest assured she’s gonna pick up on how you’re feeling. This would also bear reference to the sorry tip you left the waiter, thinking she didn’t notice. Spare her the time and embarrassment next time and just don’t go.

You can learn a lot about a person by how they act while dining out. I used to know a couple who, when they would dine out, make a habit of finding something “wrong” with their meal. This usually resulted in their bill being “adjusted” or, as I also witnessed, omitted entirely. This makes me sick to my stomach. Needless to say, you’ll never catch me out to dinner with them again.

Cheap people’s cheapness affects those around them. Frugal people’s frugality affects their own selves. (as quoted from NY best-selling author Ramit Sethi)

Posted by  |  November 19, 2009 | Categories: Opinion, Thoughts | Leave a comment

My Serenity

So it appears that I’ll go to any length to protect it. It’s actually getting quite ridiculous. This year, for some reason, I’m having a little trouble letting Summer go. The frost warnings have arrived, the much colder nights – heck I’ve already witnessed mountain snow over a month ago. Thanksgiving is but a week away, and then we’re into Christmas season. (You won’t ever hear the word ‘holiday’ from this southern girl. I’ll save that for another blog.)

Still –I cling to the long nights of crickets chirping, warm wind whistling through my palm tree, and watching the sunset reflect the most gorgeous bright gold against the forest beyond me for 8-10 minutes every night. Saturday and Sunday mornings of sitting cross-legged in my chair, eating a bagel as I gaze out. Caring for my much-loved greenery, which resides everywhere and so enhances the beauty. I feel as though I am on top of the world here. My world. The place that could be anywhere I could ever imagine.

To what do I refer of my ‘serenity’? Quite simply, my balcony. I know that must sound silly to some. But let me continue to paint the picture for you, if I may. Of my own little green sanctuary. My treehouse in the sky.

Caring for and protecting my own little botanical garden. I have in recent years come to adore the color green. To appreciate it far beyond what I ever have before. Not just that of which I possess – but of that which exists just beyond the realm of my own sanctuary, in the midst of seasons a’changing… the beautiful forest.

And my fern. What a runt it was when I purchased it in the Spring. I remember thinking, should I hold out and get a bigger one later? Ha, should’ve known better. This fern now spans over 3 ft wide. It’s almost unrealistically beautiful, looks artificial. A couple weekends ago, my guy went up to it, grabbed a branch between three fingers and pulled hard all the way down to the tip. He doesn’t know it, but I cringed and thought wtf? Not one tiny leaf came off. Neither of us said anything – the fern had just said it all. We’d visited a nearby county fair a couple months ago, and he’d joked then that I should’ve brought my fern. I’d hesitated to agree, but knew in my heart that those first-place prizewinners paled in comparison to my own.

Even with the few frosts we’ve had this far, as well as the gale-force winds from Hurricane Ida – I’ve managed to preserve my little green-garden in the sky. I’ve moved them in and out of my utility room more times than I care to count, usually resulting in sore muscles. It’s been a toil to keep up with the warnings and advisories to protect them. Just tonight, my 7 ft palm has landed on it’s side twice, in two different positions. What to do? Well, I’ve just moved her, of course. I have to someday soon let it go. It will once again, for several months, be bare, cold and lonely out here.

But for now – well, it looks like the next couple of days forecast consists of rain but no frost. Yeah…. I think I can prolong my little utopia in the sky at least a few more days….

Posted by  |  November 18, 2009 | Categories: Home | Leave a comment

Manners – A Lost Art?

Please. Thank you. Excuse me. Oh, the nice things that come to you as a result of just uttering these simple words. Have we Americans forgotten our manners? I’d like to say no, but unfortunately I believe many have.

I drove up to the mountains yesterday to do a little hiking. It was obvious that our area had been hermitized for several days as a result of all the rain that Hurricane Ida brought in, because there almost wasn’t a parking place to be found in the State Park.

When we finally did find a place, we had to squeeze the car in – the SUV to the left had overrode his space. The owner of the SUV to the right was still standing by his vehicle, which we had to get pretty close to. My boyfriend rolled his window down and said to the guy, “I’m going to move it over a little” to which the guy replied “Oh, you’re alright”.

We found out pretty quick how treacherous this hike was to become, being as how it eventually led up to a waterfall. Needless to say, the waterfall reward at the end made this one the most popular of all the trails.

Once the trail started getting kind of chancy, oftentimes we would have to wait for ‘oncoming traffic’ to make their way up, or down. Can you believe there was usually an ‘excuse me’ and/or ‘thank you’ involved? As well, I would say it when people would wait on or move for us. Sometimes we were winded, as other hikers were – but we all managed to keep our manners with the ‘excuse mes’ and ‘thank yous’.

It behooves me that people can be in the middle of a freaking forest and maintain their manners, and yet forget them when out in public, such as a restaurant, grocery store, etc.

Hmm. Manners. In the woods.

MsSpider1

A habitant of the forest.

Posted by  |  November 16, 2009 | Categories: Nature, Thoughts, Travel | Leave a comment

Internet Cheating

Oh yes I am going to go there with this.

Harmless or dangerous – or does it all depend on the circumstances? Hmm, you say… are we talking friendships, flirting, or actual cheating? And how do I define cheating? A relationship treachery. A betrayal in your partner’s trust; failure to be honest. Whether it be either your husband/wife or your significant other, i.e. boyfriend or girlfriend. Although to some it may seem innocent, internet cheating can be very damaging to a relationship.

We all know the exact definition of cheating has always been up for debate. Must it always result in a physical relationship, or could it also be defined as emotional? The internet provides endless possibilities in this area – chat rooms, social networking sites, dating services, craigslist, and the list goes on. I know I know, these days you can walk into a public bathroom, and well – that’s kind of how the internet works.

If you know what you’re doing, you can still launch yourself into cyberspace and do a pretty fair job at maintaining your anonymity. Which leads to my original question – harmless or dangerous? And why is it so tempting, sometimes irresistible, to pursue a romantic relationship over the internet – if you are already in a relationship?

Generally, the results of an online exchange between two interested parties will NOT be without sexual banter. Just take a look at some of the social networking apps on myspace (ie, the drinking games). Most groups of ‘app buddies’ are provocatively-named females imploring you to chat. This can result anywhere from the exchange of pics/phone numbers all the way down to meeting in person. (Social networking people, you might be surprised at what shows up in the new feeds about you.)

I’m not saying that all internet relationships are bad. I know that it’s natural for people to want to ‘connect’ with other people in some way shape or form. Flirting has always been a confidence booster – and something many of us do regularly without even recognizing it. I guess the key is knowing when to draw the line, provided you have the strength to do so and are able.

My personal opinion is that it’s just not worth the risk of hurting your loved one – period. But, that’s just me.

Posted by  |  November 12, 2009 | Categories: Life Struggles, Relationships, Technology | Leave a comment

Veterans Day

anc-wide
The day we’ve dedicated to honor the Veterans of our Armed Services. Veterans Day – not to be confused with Memorial Day. I have to admit, a dear friend of mine had to remind me of the difference in the two observances not that long ago – for this I am grateful.

It’s still amazing how many Americans are not aware or have repressed what they’ve been taught when it comes to what Veterans Day actually stands for. I believe people tend to assume a similarity since both observances have a direct relation to our country’s military.

Memorial Day, for which the federal holiday is observed on the last Monday of May, commemorates US men and women who have actually perished during service to our country. Veterans Day is observed each November 11. Wikipedia offers this definition for Veterans Day: A celebration to honor America’s Veterans for their patriotism, love of our country, and willingness to serve and sacrifice for the common good.

Veteran’s day began as a commemoration of the ending of World War I, the Great War – on November 11, 1918. It was originally dedicated as Armistice Day, armistice meaning ‘temporary cessation of hostilities’. After World War II, it was recognized as a day to pay tribute to all service members – then, come 1954 it was redefined as Veterans Day. Other more specific timelines exist between this, some of which I found very interesting via the link below.
http://www.history.army.mil/faq/vetsday/vetshist.htm

To all our Veterans and continued Service Men and Women, I would like to thank you – you are my Hero. I will most likely never get to meet you. I won’t have the pleasure of shaking your hand, giving you a hug or even looking you in the eye while personally thanking you – just know the continued hope I have for our country has been hinged upon your service. No words may ever express my most sincere appreciation for the freedom I have today – which is a direct result of your strength, bravery and loyalty to our country.

Posted by  |  November 11, 2009 | Categories: Holidays, Thoughts | Leave a comment

Motivation

The term itself is characterized as ‘the activation or energization of goal-oriented behavior’. Hmm. Goal-oriented.

How many of us have tried to put into place or restart an existing exercise regimen? Quit smoking? Cut your bills and do without certain things in order to save money or even survive? Clean out an entire room in your house…. Of course it can span a much broader spectrum, it may even branch out into relationship and child-rearing woes that need addressing. A continued lack of motivation results in more, and more, and more procrastination. To use an overused term, it’s a vicious circle.

Often you hear people speak of the need to get motivated. Something that sounds so easy can be one of the absolute toughest things to do in life. I struggle with it on an almost daily basis. When we get into a really deep slump, sometimes even thinking about making positive changes just seem too strenuous.

This is where having a goal comes in handy. Not an unattainable goal, either – something that is within your reach and realistic. Start small – you can’t fail if you start out with something ridiculously easy. Having a goal to push for is the key, and like many other things in my life, it’s taken me a while to come to this realization.

Try not to pay attention to the things in life aren’t going to matter tomorrow anyway. Avoid the people with negative energy who try to suck the life out of you. Accept and embrace the fact that you will sometimes fail. And live, love and laugh as much as you can. Emphasis on the laugh. 🙂

Posted by  |  November 10, 2009 | Categories: Opinion, Thoughts | Leave a comment