This morning the river is a dark blueish gray, calm enough – with the bottom of the sky stark-white leading up to the very darkest-of-dark stormy grays. It casts a hue that mutes down and darkens the colors on almost everything around you. It could almost be a scene pulled straight out of the movie Dolores Claiborne.
At the risk of sounding psychotic, I’ve decided to write of my experience last night. Once in a while I’ll have an incident that’s caught somewhere between my conscious and subconscious, and lingers with me for awhile. This was one of those times.
I barely slept at all – mainly because of this kickass cold I’ve got going on. I was awake every hour, stealing a glance at the clock every so often even though I tried not to. About 3am, my eyes made out my two-piece dresser in front of me – which spans almost to the ceiling by itself, and has a picture and a plant on top. The moon outside my window created an almost flawless image on it. It was the image of a woman, with a pair of lone arms wrapped around her.
I was mesmerized by it. No, I was not delusional from being sick (or otherwise, lol). I hadn’t taken any meds before bed. It was simply captivating in it’s own serenity. The being who’s arms embraced the woman remained completely hidden behind her; never needing to be unveiled fully to prove their importance to her. The mere presence was felt even stronger by means of residing in the shadows.
The feeling it gave me goes beyond what I’m able to put into words. Warm… peaceful. I couldn’t look away, and didn’t want to – for fear I would lose this most precious site before me, or that it would suddenly reform into something else.
Demi Moore is doing a huge ad campaign for her new perfume, Wanted. I watched a few videos last night, and I won’t argue the fact they probably decided to hang around in my subconscious. ‘What does it mean to you, to be wanted?’ she asked. Such a thought-provoking question. There are endless possibilities as to the answers – on multiple levels. So, I’m taken back to what I originally thought when I first saw that image.
This was the form of a woman who was Wanted.