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Last day

So onto the last day of the weekend. That’s always what I consider Sunday, really, and I don’t mean it to sound at all sacreligious. Its just how I think of it when it comes to going back to work tomorrow.

This has once again been a great weekend. I knew it was gonna rain pretty much the whole time but I didn’t care – add the fact we needed it. As long as I get to spend time with my love then the sun is always shining. I know I’ve written enough sappy stuff lately so I won’t taint yet another blog. Oh wait, I’d better not make any promises!

Have I mentioned how much in love I am? 😉

Made an angel food cake last night and a pasta salad, in the middle of doing the occasional tequila shot. Later today the angel food cake will be adorned with fresh strawberries, strawberry drizzle and whipped topping, transforming it into strawberry shortcake. I figured I needed to cook something after all the eating out we’ve done the last few days. I do love to cook, but it’s like I said just last night – I wish I had better resources.

As I lay here watching my love sleep (so very peacefully), I wonder just how someone could abuse this beautiful man with such a large heart. For it to become a way of life, a means of living. Enduring it on a daily, weekly, yearly basis. To have your heart and trust trampled on like it was nothing more than a filthy rag. Well, my dear love… know that those days are over, forevermore. Sometimes a train wreck really does have it’s survivors.

Posted by  |  April 25, 2010 | Categories: Thoughts | Leave a comment

The Sure Thing

About a week ago a local channel aired an 80’s movie I hadn’t seen in a long time called The Sure Thing. The plot: an unlikely pair of college students that end up falling for each other during a roadtrip to California.

So the name got me thinking – The Sure Thing. How many sure things are there in life? Not many. How can we ever be completely certain of a sure thing? The dictionary describes a sure thing as “An outcome that is assured; a certainty; something that is guaranteed to be successful”.

The only one sure thing I’ve ever had in life personally is that beautiful and shining Promise of eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. That is it – though that is certainly more than we could ever hope for.

So back to what I was leading up to… is it ever possible to have a sure thing in a human being? To actually put your complete trust, love and confidence into a person, and see and feel that trust, love and confidence returned back to you? Moreso, is it smart to do this? Maybe not. What I do know is the more times you’ve been burned in your life, the more difficult it becomes to trust again. Maybe it’s just me, but I think that in order to acquire a sure thing – if there is a human version of a sure thing out there – you have to be willing to take some risks. To not only remain open, but actually be okay with the possibility of failure.

I’ve always wanted that complete trust factor in my life. Always always. Undivided, unequivocal, undiminished trust. Trust that’s so concrete there’s never any room for questions. A two-way trust that is so openly confident that it illuminates the darkness.

I believe I’ve found it – of this I feel more sure than I’ve felt about anything in my entire life.

Posted by  |  April 24, 2010 | Categories: Emotions, Love, Relationships, Religion, Thoughts | Leave a comment

Alpha Omega

It’s here, that time… it’s finally here. I’m holding in my hands the tickets to my little girl’s college commencement ceremony. Boy, no one could’ve made me believe that simply being handed the tickets would throw me in such an emotional state.

It seems like only yesterday we were moving her in her dorm. I can see her now running around in her Yankees Jeter jersey and 2 long pig-tail braids hanging down beneath her hat. It was hotter than 10 Haitis outside, and she and her roomie had packed enough between 3 cars and a large SUV to not only furnish the dorm room but an entire apartment.

Dorm move-in day, Aug. 17th 2006 – Julia on right, her roomie Lauren on left.

Since it was the first freshman move-in day, the campus was swamped with students and parents everywhere. Her roomie Lauren’s Dad, her Dad and I made countless trips back and forth from the parking lot to the dorm building in the extreme heat. After just a few trips, we noticed the girls were nowhere to be found. They were out being social butterflies while we were moving them in! As I look back, I remember arguing with her Dad about it. I know he remembers this, and we can actually laugh about it now. There at the end, when we were ringing wet and about to pass out from the heat, in bops Julia and Lauren with a couple of ‘cute’ strong lads they’d hooked up with to ‘help’ us. Those lads ended up getting the last load or two, and with us being at the passing-out point, we were ever-grateful.

Julia really is a rare find of a kid. From start to finish, her college education has totally been funded through her own student loans. It was to be a tenure that ended up surviving a series of curve balls – including the breakup of her parent’s marriage halfway through it. I’ve watched as countless friends of hers have either dropped out or otherwise were dismissed from college because of grades – but hers is a true success story. Over the last four years, I watched her worked her ass off for the education she knew she needed in life. She’s now earned this reward by much sweat of her brow – time, effort, and a lot of hard work. She’s always been the kind of girl that knows what she wants, and doesn’t mind working hard to get there.

I already know that the day in mid-May when she walks across the stage will be one of the most emotional days of my life. I could not be more proud of her, and I know for a fact her entire family is too.

Posted by  |  April 23, 2010 | Categories: Family, Life Struggles, Thoughts | Leave a comment

My Earth Day

So today is deemed Earth Day. Let try to explain exactly what Earth Day means to me. Here goes:

The Creation

1: In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.
 2: And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters.
 3: And God said, Let there be light: and there was light.
 4: And God saw the light, that it was good: and God divided the light from the darkness.
 5: And God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And the evening and the morning were the first day.
 6: And God said, Let there be a firmament in the midst of the waters, and let it divide the waters from the waters.
 7: And God made the firmament, and divided the waters which were under the firmament from the waters which were above the firmament: and it was so.
 8: And God called the firmament Heaven. And the evening and the morning were the second day.
 9: And God said, Let the waters under the heaven be gathered together unto one place, and let the dry land appear: and it was so.
 10: And God called the dry land Earth; and the gathering together of the waters called he Seas: and God saw that it was good.
 11: And God said, Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit tree yielding fruit after his kind, whose seed is in itself, upon the earth: and it was so.
 12: And the earth brought forth grass, and herb yielding seed after his kind, and the tree yielding fruit, whose seed was in itself, after his kind: and God saw that it was good.
 13: And the evening and the morning were the third day.
 14: And God said, Let there be lights in the firmament of the heaven to divide the day from the night; and let them be for signs, and for seasons, and for days, and years:
 15: And let them be for lights in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth: and it was so.
 16: And God made two great lights; the greater light to rule the day, and the lesser light to rule the night: he made the stars also.
 17: And God set them in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth,
 18: And to rule over the day and over the night, and to divide the light from the darkness: and God saw that it was good.
 19: And the evening and the morning were the fourth day.
 20: And God said, Let the waters bring forth abundantly the moving creature that hath life, and fowl that may fly above the earth in the open firmament of heaven.
 21: And God created great whales, and every living creature that moveth, which the waters brought forth abundantly, after their kind, and every winged fowl after his kind: and God saw that it was good.
 22: And God blessed them, saying, Be fruitful, and multiply, and fill the waters in the seas, and let fowl multiply in the earth.
 23: And the evening and the morning were the fifth day.
 24: And God said, Let the earth bring forth the living creature after his kind, cattle, and creeping thing, and beast of the earth after his kind: and it was so.
 25: And God made the beast of the earth after his kind, and cattle after their kind, and every thing that creepeth upon the earth after his kind: and God saw that it was good.
 26: And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.
 27: So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.
 28: And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.
 29: And God said, Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat.
 30: And to every beast of the earth, and to every fowl of the air, and to every thing that creepeth upon the earth, wherein there is life, I have given every green herb for meat: and it was so.
 31: And God saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very good. And the evening and the morning were the sixth day.

I could continue posting on to the seventh day of the creation of earth, but I think you get my drift by now. Some of you out there may believe you ‘evolved’ from cells, ooze and monkeys; however, I believe I was created in the image of God. There’s no in-between. God created this earth, and God is still in control, folks. Now we’ve got an overwhelming under 2% of the population trying to ‘save’ it. Guess what? It’s all written. So better brace yourselves for what’s to come.

“Go green”. Okay. Yeah, I’m all for saving the trees. But all this other crap… let’s face it, we’ve abused this earth now for so long there’s no amount of good that the entire 2% or less of the population can do to UNdo all the irreparable damage – especially in the one day a year that’s dedicated to recognizing it. That’s even if the under 2% is a fair estimate. Give me a break.

Turn my lights off? Tell ya what I plan to do. During that ‘hour’, I will go through my apartment and turn every light on I have in the place. Have I mentioned I have a lot of flourescent bulbs? Heck I may go start my car, lock it and leave all the lights on in IT for an hour too. Just to prove a point. What point, you ask? Lemmie think. That for ONCE I’m not being pushed or forced into something against my will by some liberal? Yeah! That shall serve as my answer.

On second thought, maybe I will attempt to do my share for earth day. Does planting my foot up some liberals butt count as doing my part? Just asking…

Posted by  |  April 22, 2010 | Categories: Political, Rants, Religion | Leave a comment

Extreme memories

A while back I wrote a blog on current airport security in the States and my heavy thoughts on profiling. It’s a subject I have very strong opinions on and stated so in aforementioned blog, so I won’t rant about it again. Those of you who know me know that I’m a girl who will always live in the shadow of 9/11, lest I never forget. The shit I hear and read about daily on the news makes my gut wrench, and as I checked facts online tonight I’ve ran across more than I care to mention that makes my blood fucking boil – including thumbnail pics and links to videos of the murderous decapitations of Paul Johnson Jr. and Daniel Pearl. Enough said.

I recently received an interesting email that brought the subject of profiling fresh to the forefront of my mind again. (That’s right, look out…) This particular email has circulated around for years, which explains the original gap that skipped the years 2003-2008 – then someone inserted the Ft. Hood attack of 2009. Being the Bonster I am, I took the liberty of inserting my own material for those missing years since I felt it was too large of a gap to leave unaccounted for. Of course, I only picked one event per year to list – but believe me there were many to choose from. As always, I did my homework on the fact-checks.

Absolutely No Profiling! Pause a moment, reflect back… and take the following multiple choice test.

These events are actual events from history. They really happened! Do you remember?

Or have you forgotten?

Okay, so here’s the test.

1. In 1968 Bobby Kennedy was shot and killed by:

a. Superman
b. Jay Leno
c. Harry Potter
d. A Muslim male extremist between the ages of 17 and 40

2. In 1972 at the Munich Olympics, athletes were kidnapped and massacred by :

a. Olga Corbett
b. Sitting Bull
c. Arnold Schwarzenegger
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

3. In 1979, the US embassy in Iran was taken over by:

a. Lost Norwegians
b. Elvis
c. A tour bus full of 80-year-old women
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

4. During the 1980’s a number of Americans were kidnapped in Lebanon by:

a. John Dillinger
b. The King of Sweden
c. The Boy Scouts
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

5. In 1983, the US Marine barracks in Beirut was blown up by:

a. A pizza delivery boy
b. Pee Wee Herman
c. Geraldo Rivera
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

6. In 1985 the cruise ship Achille Lauro was hijacked and a 70 year old American passenger was murdered and thrown overboard in his wheelchair by:

a. The Smurfs
b. Davey Jones
c. The Little Mermaid
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

7. In 1985 TWA flight 847 was hijacked at Athens, and a US Navy diver trying to rescue passengers was murdered by:

a. Captain Kidd
b. Charles Lindberg
c. Mother Teresa
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

8. In 1988, Pan Am Flight 103 was bombed by:

a. Scooby Doo
b. The Tooth Fairy
c. The Sundance Kid
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

9. In 1993 the World Trade Center was bombed the first time by:

a. Richard Simmons
b. Grandma Moses
c. Michael Jordan
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

10. In 1998, the US embassies in Kenya and Tanzania were bombed by:

a. Mr. Rogers
b. Hillary Clinton, to distract attention from Wild Bill’s women problems
c. The World Wrestling Federation
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

11. On 9/11/01, four airliners were hijacked; two were used as missiles to take out the World Trade Centers and of the remaining two, one crashed into the US Pentagon and the other was diverted and crashed by the passengers.

Thousands of people were killed by:

a. Bugs Bunny, Wiley E. Coyote, Daffy Duck and Elmer Fudd
b. The Supreme Court of Florida
c. Mr. Bean
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

12. In 2002 the United States fought a war in Afghanistan against:

a. Enron
b. The Lutheran Church
c. The NFL
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

13. In 2002 reporter Daniel Pearl was kidnapped and murdered by:

a. Bonnie and Clyde
b. Captain Kangaroo
c. Billy Graham
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

14. In 2003, a series of events now known as the Casablanca bombings went down in Morocco. In all, 33 civilians were killed by:

a. Barney
b. Toby Keith
c. Mr. Magoo
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

15. In 2004, Paul Johnson Jr. was kidnapped and executed along with 2 other Americans and a BBC cameraman in Saudi Arabia by:

a. Leap Frog
b. Tony Stewart
c. Pedro
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

16. In 2005, 3 American hotels in Jordan (the Radisson, Grand Hyatt and Days Inn) were hit with bombs. 57 people were killed by:

a. A computer software program
b. PETA
c. My iPhone
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

17. In 2006, what is now referred to as the Sadr City bombings occurred, a series of car bombs and mortar attacks. It was to be the second deadliest attack since the beginning of the Iraq war in 2003. At least 215 people were killed and 257 were injured by:

a. The Bonster
b. Bon’s cat Camille
c. Bon’s gorgeous boyfriend
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

18. In 2007, the detonation of 2 car bombs near Algeria’s Constitutional Council and United Nations offices caused the death of over 60 people by:

a. Alex Trebek
b. Marilyn Manson
c. Dolly Parton
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

19. In 2008, a car bomb and rocket hit the US Embassy in Yemen as staff arrived to work. 16 people were killed by:

a. Hugh Hefner
b. The entire cast of Dancing with the Stars
c. Gilligan
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

No, I really don’t see a pattern here to justify profiling, do you?  So, just to ensure we Americans never offend anyone, particularly fanatics intent on killing us, airport security screeners will no longer be allowed to profile certain people.. They must instead conduct random searches of 80-year-old women, little kids, airline pilots with proper identification, secret agents who are members of the President’s security detail, 85-year old Congressmen with metal hips, and Medal of Honor winner and former Governor Joe Foss, but leave Muslim Males between the ages 17 and 40 alone lest they be guilty of profiling.

20. In 2009, Fort Hood Texas – 13 people were killed and 30 some odd others were wounded by…

a. Fox News
b. Howard Stern
c. The Dude who broke in your car
d. A Muslim male extremist between the ages of 17 and 40 (guess what folks, he was 39…)

Tell me… does this fit the PROFILE?! I rest my effing case.

So if the A through C’s on the multiple choices weren’t hilarious enough for ya – I just heard the best (and most awesomely BRILLIANT) semi-solution to terrorism on planes. While listening to my local 103.7 (Tanner in the Morning w/ Catherine Lane) he came up with this:

How about every airport now come equipped with this ‘booth’ that every potential passenger walks into. This ‘safety’ booth will have the ability to automatically detect and detonate any bomb that walks inside it. BAM! There’s our solution. Seriously, it’s brilliant thinking at its best. Can you imagine hearing this over the airport intercom? “Attention, all passengers of Flight 1393 en route to Belgium… we now have a seat available…”

😆

Posted by  |  April 21, 2010 | Categories: Humor, News, Opinion, Political, Rants, Thoughts | Leave a comment

A private hell

Seems like we hear more and more about cheating and abusive husbands. Now, more often than ever, we see these type of relationships coming to violent and tragic endings. Believe me, I’m very much aware of the fact that women cheat too, and some are abusive. When it comes to physical abuse though, the majority of the victims are women. Sadly, of the two issues, one often precipitates the other. While cheating and abuse both make me shudder, the two in combination are enough to take a person’s sanity.

I’ve written enough about infidelity enough to last me a lifetime. I am not nor am I trying to be an expert on the subject of abuse, mental or physical – the fact is that I am just very empathetic when it comes to these issues. The cold and heartless ‘I don’t feel a bit sorry for her – she could leave and get the hell out, but she chooses to stay’ never ceases to amaze me. Yeah, right. Unfortunately, more often than not, it isn’t that simple.

Fear prevails. Not only fear of her mate, but perhaps fear of sheer survival on her own. A woman may stay for her kids. Some women think and are made to believe ‘I must’ve done something to push his buttons’, and continually strive to avoid it happening in the future. They learn what not to bring up. They’re made well aware that their feelings are not meant to be shared, and that doing so will anger him. When she’s repeatedly told things like ‘no one else will put up with your sorry ass’ it eventually makes her believe that she’s worthless and unlovable to others. After so much time has passed living this life, she’s left with this shell of what used to be a whole person – just waiting to be led through yet another day. Week. Month. Year.

The next thing you know, half a lifetime has passed.

Anyone who reads this that is identifying with it in any way, shape or form – I beg you to seek help. There are places out there to help you. If you don’t have family to turn to, there are agencies and non-profit organizations out there who do care. Please don’t ‘stay’ and become a statistic. Read the news – the statistics are growing.

Here are a few signs of possibly being in an abusive relationship. If you find yourself identifying with even just a few of them, please take a step back and think about it…

You may be in an abusive relationship if he or she:

  • is jealous or possessive toward you (jealousy is the primary symptom of abusive relationships) this can include constant accusations of you cheating or running around on him/her
  • tries to control you by being very bossy or demanding
  • tries to isolate you by demanding you cut off social contacts, friendships, or even family ties
  • is violent and/or loses temper quickly
  • abuses drugs or alcohol
  • claims you are responsible for his/her emotional state (‘you sure know how to push my buttons’)
  • blames YOU when he/she mistreats you.
  • has a history of bad relationships
  • you frequently worry about how he/she will react to things you say or do
  • makes ‘jokes’ that shame, humiliate, demean or embarrass you, whether privately or around family/friends
  • your partner grew up witnessing an abusive parental relationship, or was abused themselves as a child
  • your partner frequently ‘rages’ when they feel hurt, shame, fear or loss of control
  • you leave your partner frequently, only to return – against the advice of your friends, family and loved ones
  • you have trouble ending the relationship even though inside you know it’s the right thing to do
 

Does the person you love:

  • constantly keep track of your time?
  • act jealous and possessive?
  • accuse you of being unfaithful or flirting?
  • discourage your relationships with friends and family?
  • prevent or discourage you from working, interacting with friends or attending school?
  • constantly criticize or belittle you?
  • insist on control of all the finances and force you to account for every bit you spend? (except for reasonable cooperative budgeting)
  • humiliate you in front of others? (including ‘jokes’ at your expense)
  • take your personal property or sentimental items?
  • keep daily mail from you, including taking it back to his work to store?
  • have affairs?
  • threaten to hurt you, your children or your pets? threaten to use a weapon?
  • push, hit, slap, punch, kick or bite you or your children?
  • force you to have sex against your will, or demand sexual acts you are uncomfortable with?

The National Domestic Violence Hotline can be accessed from 50 states. Go ahead, launch the link below. It’ll truly break your heart to see what’s on top of the front webpage. They call it a ‘quick escape’ button that you can push to quickly exit the page if your abusive partner were to walk in and see what you’re looking at. If this is not a true jolt of reality, nothing is – it’s real, it’s thriving, and it’s growing. Continuing to keep quiet about it is continuing to feed it. Help get the word out that we no longer have to tolerate this type of behavior from a partner. God bless.

National Domestic Violence Hotline website:  http://www.ndvh.org/

National Domestic Violence Hotline phone:  1-800-799-SAFE(7233) or TTY 1-800-787-3224


Posted by  |  April 20, 2010 | Categories: Emotions, Life Struggles, Relationships | 1 Comment

A new grind

Back to the grind this morning. A grind I’m very thankful for, mind you – it’s just that I, like most working Americans on a Monday morning, would just rather be doing other things.

Had a busy weekend, even semi-productive. Got my place vacuumed, and I won’t say how long it’d been since I’d done that. My babydoll took me out to a Japanese steakhouse – a local one that’s been around forever but we’d never tried. We now have a new favorite, this place so totally rocked. The food was out of this world, they served us like we were the only people in there, and the prices could even be considered cheap! When we left, we both felt as though we’d been given royal treatment. I can’t wait to go back! Just remind me not to go on my birthday because they pie you. Me no like pie in face.

I also attended a friends 50th birthday party and had an awesome time. The back yard that belonged to the girl that threw the party was nothing short of amazing, and she’d done it all herself. From a little pond with the stacked slender rock, cascading water and lilypads, to a firepit on up, and a workshop with a woman’s touch at the end. I can’t do justice in describing it all – it felt just like being at the mountains with all it’s sereneness. She even had a eucalyptus tree, which in my 42 years of living I’ve never seen. I met some very sweet and interesting people too – one of which is a crime scene supervisor. Yep, just like the show CSI. I’ve definitely come to realize that it must take a very special person to do this ‘job’. Ya must have to be on top of your game 200% of the time. Out of all we talked about, the thing that stuck with me the most was when she said ‘I wanted to have a career helping people. To me, this is the ultimate way of helping people’. Yeah, a special person indeed.

My TMJ (temporomandibular joint disorder) gave me a real fit this weekend, so I just basically ate ibuprofen the whole time. I never know when or where it’ll kick in full force, but it sure did this weekend – and moreso than it’s done in a long time. Ugh. Better this morning, though!

Work calls. Everyone have an awesome week, and be blessed! ♥

Posted by  |  April 19, 2010 | Categories: Entertainment, Food, Thoughts | Leave a comment

That’s Amore

Oh I’ve got it badddd, I admit it. Probably bad enough to sicken the average person, really. So I don’t write about my love life much at all – I’ve kept it to myself for some time now. At long last, I believe I’ve earned the right to spill my guts.

There is no formula or logic to love. Being in love is like an anchor of reason and romance living in balance. Real love is a complete acceptance of the other person, and of oneself. It resides in the knowledge of one another – what our strengths are, what our weaknesses are, and what our potential is.

So just how DO you know when you’re really in love, that head-over-heels all-consuming kind of love? Now before you judge my own personal reasons below, let me first say that this is not a new relationship. The admittedly amateurish things I’m about to write might lead one to the conclusion this is a brand new infatuation of sorts.

It’s not.

When I receive an email or text I jump right to it, thinking it’s him. Same thing with a phone call. When I notice it’s not from him, I get the same sinking disappointing feeling every time (sorry, friends and family). When it is from him, my stomach suddenly takes on the role of Flipper. He’s on my mind every waking minute of the day. At night, he’s the one I dream of.

I miss him so much when we’re apart, that it almost can be described as an aching type of longing. When we’re together, it just feels right. Everything. All the integers of a successful relationship are present. The level of respect we have for one another is astounding, as well as the appreciation we both have for what we’ve finally found.

I have visions. Not the prediction type – more like daydreams of the life that I imagine for the future. I go off into my own little world with these visions of bliss and happiness. On the other hand – sometimes these visions take a dark u-turn when I have one about losing him. That’s the thing about visions, they build themselves – so oftentimes your worst fears manifest within one.

The way he looks at me makes me melt. His beautiful eyes often tell me a story – it’s difficult to explain. When he looks at me, I can all but see into his soul… I can feel how he is feeling, what he is feeling. His deep voice is both seductive and consuming – it makes me feel safe in a way that I never have before. I can hear his voice even when he’s not around.

I know it’s that kind of love because I can no longer imagine my life without him in it. The mere thought of losing him makes my eyes well up every time… Simply knowing the kind of man he is makes me strive to be a better woman.

And that, my friends, is mi Amore.♥

Posted by  |  April 17, 2010 | Categories: Emotions, Love, Relationships | 1 Comment

My Wish for you ~

I heard a song by one of my favorite groups, Rascal Flatts, on the way to work this morning. The lyrics hold a lot of meaning to me. Since I’m low on material today, thought it’d be a good time to share ’em. And, this is my wish for you…

My Wish

I hope that the days come easy and the moments pass slow,
And each road leads you where you want to go,
And if you’re faced with a choice, and you have to choose,
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.
And if one door opens to another door closed,
I hope you keep on walkin’ till you find the window,
If it’s cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile…

But more than anything, more than anything –
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you’re out there getting where you’re getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

I hope you never look back, but ya never forget,
All the ones who love you, in the place you left,
I hope you always forgive, and you never regret,
And you help somebody every chance you get,
Oh, you find God’s grace, in every mistake,
And you always give more than you take.

But more than anything, yeah, and more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you’re out there getting where you’re getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you’re out there getting where you’re getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

This is my wish
I hope you know somebody loves you
May all your dreams stay big….

This is my wish.

Posted by  |  April 16, 2010 | Categories: Music | Leave a comment

Abs

The radio stations are having a field day with this little clip this morning. In none other than our very own Rock Hill, SC, a man was arrested and charged with hitting another motel guest in the face with a snake. Yeah, you heard that right. Only in the south, baby – only in the south.

So I got my first paycheck since switching my exemptions from one to zero. Exactly a seventy-five dollar difference (cut) in pay. Owww DAMN that hurts like a bitch. Expletive, expletive, expletive. Shit.

Gotta get in the zone. A different zone. Look forward to the weekend, Bon, quit thinking about bills and such. You pay what you CAN pay, no amount of worrying will aid you in doing any better. Effing BREATHE.

Abs are sore. Yeah. Focus on the abs.

Pink so rocks – and this song sums me up today.

Posted by  |  April 15, 2010 | Categories: Life Struggles, Music, News, Rants | Leave a comment

Tax man strikes again

There’s nothing like coming into work with work actually in your box to do and a big ole’ pipin’ hot bowl of instant grits waiting on ya. Okay, that last part’s a southern thing, and since it’s already been made apparent that I’m easy to please, none of this should come as a surprise.

Everything is SO green outside – huge difference from the dull dead winter look. Here’s a view from the southwest window of my office. The geese must still be sleeping, or bathing somewhere.

Mailed my taxes off yesterday. Did I mention I owe over $1200 in taxes for last year? I have no idea how… and it ruined the majority of my Sunday last weekend. My tax advisor did tell me to change my exemptions from one back to zero from here on out, which I promptly did Monday. So the question of the day is, do I have a check for the amount in full mailed along with my taxes? Hell no. The good ole’ IRS is getting a nicely typed letter requesting stating that I will need to arrange a payment schedule. Hey, what else can I do? It’s not like there’s $1200 just sitting around a fire singing Kumbaya for me to nab.

The old ‘blood from a turnip’ saying comes to mind.

Don’t even get me started.

I got this part wrong when I first posted the blog so I’m making a correction. A while back my Mother did some genealogy research (looking up of ancestors/roots), and one side is from England and the other from Ireland. Anywho, one was a damn tax collector. I initially said the tax collector was of English origin but he was actually Irish.

I like most Americans am eagerly anticipating the weekend. A dear friend is having a 50th birthday party, and I’m looking forward to that. Also a few errands to run in between, but that’s par for the course. I won’t get all gushy and talk about looking forward to see my guy – oh well, guess I just did.♥ He’s been crazy busy this week – and I’ll just say I’m very proud of him and leave it at that. 😉

Bon-thought for the day:
My eyes are an ocean in which my dreams are reflected.

Posted by  |  April 14, 2010 | Categories: Finance, Life Struggles | Leave a comment

Assets

It’s been a while since I’ve done it – dedicate a blog to count my many blessings. I’ve done enough bitching here recently about my taxes and a few other things, that I actually think I’m overdue on this blessing count.

First and foremost, for the Son Jesus – whom our Lord sent down to die for my countless sins so that I may be cleansed forevermore. I’m very much aware that I have a potty mouth more often than not, but I do know the Truth. I’ll just continue to work on my potty mouth.

I am thankful for the ride to work in the morning, and the sun and the spring. The many leaves that have filled in and shape the trees now, and all the green. Work… what on earth would I do without my job? Can’t even begin to imagine an answer for that one. My ever-faithful car, which has really been a low-maintenance rock of a car. Back home, I have a pantry and refrigerator both full of food. And drink. My small furbaby who loves me unconditionally – every day running to meet me at the door. When I pick her up, she buries her little head in my neck to show me just how far that unconditional love goes.

I’m blessed to have all the comforts I have in my home – my computer, my television, my cozy little kitchen with everything I could ever need at my fingertips. The ease – the ease of it all. The warm baths and hot showers. My exercise machine, my warm comfy bed. The sprawling balcony which overlooks the forest and has become my outdoor sanctuary, and all the living greenery that makes it my home. The clothes and accessories I wear, every toiletry I could ever need in my entire life is at my fingertips. And, I feel healthy.

I’m thankful for my family, and my circle of friends. I could never express how much I truly love and treasure them. My beautiful Mom and Dad who have taught me what love for our Lord really is. My beautiful daughter who has accomplished more in life than I ever thought humanly possible, and is still attacking life largely. And the beautiful man in my life that shows me daily how much he loves me, through his actions and words. I honestly cannot imagine my life without him in it now.

Blessings, countless blessings. Gotta list them out every so often – lest we dwell on the things in life that just don’t matter so much…

Posted by  |  April 13, 2010 | Categories: Family, Health, Home, Love, Religion, Thoughts | 1 Comment

Is it really worth the risk? Seriously?

Here we are, Monday. Another day, another .50¢.

The weekend was great. And beautiful. And warm. Need I say more? Other than I’d like to have it back.

So here’s yet another statistic I feel the need to talk about. Shit.

I have a friend who has had some less than desirable information recently come to light about her guy and the woman he’s apparently been talking to on the sly for some time now. This isn’t just any woman – the fact is that she is a well-known skank. Yeah, you probably remember my blog about skanks. Ole’ Bon holds the utmost disrespect for these lower-than-low chunks o’ sewer trash. My friend had a gut instinct about it and asked him point blank. Thing is, he chose to lie to her face when confronted.

That was reason enough for her to end the relationship.

Which leads to my next question. Will ALL guys, if bait is dangled in front of them, bite? Because I’m seriously starting to consider this possibility. In not all of the instances, but a very disturbing majority – the skank they’re cheating with/contemplating cheating with is much less attractive than his current woman. Now I’m not just saying this because she’s my friend – but this woman is absolutely gorgeous, a true knockout – as well as being a kind and decent person and loyal as the day is long. Any guy out there would think Heaven’s gates had opened if they scored her as their girl. So why would her current guy risk it?

Guys?!? Why ya gonna risk it? I’m seriously at the point where I need some answers.

**jic any of you out there are in the dark about what a skank is… lemmie help ya out a little.

1. Skank:

Derogatory term for a (usually younger) female, implying trashiness or tackiness, lower-class status, poor hygiene, flakiness, and a scrawny, pockmarked sort of ugliness. Used to describe un-hygienic habits, very little clothing and usually hints at that they are “easy”.

And as if I haven’t already, I gotta throw another of my two cents in there…this is MY definition of one. Skank: a female that knowingly and purposefully goes after or persues a man that is married, taken, or otherwise already in a relationship.

Thanks, Urban Dictionary. 😉

Posted by  |  April 12, 2010 | Categories: Emotions, Opinion, Rants, Relationships | Leave a comment

Lovin Fridays

What a nice Friday night. My weekend started around 3:30pm yesterday, when I tanned, showered and waited on K. We went down to a local mall ( I had a birthday gift card yet to spend) and scored several new spring threads. K even got his self a couple pairs of shorts and a few shirts, JCPenneys was having an awesome sale and we happened upon the store at exactly the right time. Neither one of us are shoppers, so we weren’t in there long at all.

From there we met his Mom at a Mexican restaurant across the street. By this time it was almost 8pm and we had a little wait – but it was worth it. We all had a blast and got a belly full. So full, in fact, that we weren’t up long at all once home. Lights out.

Now the sun is struggling to stream through the trees (that’s okay, I’m not complaining about the leaves, love ’em) and it’s beautiful out. A little chilly compared to waking up in the 60’s with highs of 80’s, but this is only mid-April anyway, right? Better enjoy the midtones while we can. I still may give the ole’ “bagel on the balcony” thing a whirl. 🙂

Posted by  |  April 10, 2010 | Categories: Entertainment, Food, Miscellaneous, Thoughts | Leave a comment

The mariner has landed

I’ve decided that my ‘theme’ of the summer is gonna be nautical (yeah I know, my theme every summer is nautical). I’m now on a very stringent search for a silver pendant for a necklace. Nautically-themed, and I definitely want it to include an anchor. I ran across this one online and fell in love with it. I found it about a month ago and saved the picture, but I don’t know what website I found it on! The dufus I am.

Onto the rant of the day. Why can’t everyone just mind their manners and act nice? It’s not that difficult really. There’s always gonna be that idiot out there waiting to ruin your day. If ya don’t believe me, just look up a (positive) news story or youtube video, and check out the flow of comments underneath. I guarantee you the more comments it has, the more idiots on there saying stupid chit just to try and stir the pot or offend someone. Now I see why alot of people who upload vids to youtube disable the ability to leave comments.

So a famous television producer (formerly of Survivor) is being held in suspicion of the death of his wife while on vacation in Cancun. Now it’s come out that last weekend she found out he was having an affair. YOU KNOW ME, HERE IT COMES…. WTF??? Are ALL men cheaters? Wait, I know the answer to that – but it still doesn’t stop me from asking the question from time to time. What the hell are these men thinking? With? Ya wanna have sex with someone other than your wife? Okay, then save her the pain and humiliation and just separate first. Is it really that hard? Pardon the pun…

It’s all a big steamin’ pile of pelosi, I tell you.

I received an email recently that I just have to share the contents of.

NEW CUSS WORD

(No, not curse… we call it cuss here in the south so get used to it)

Years ago when I sometimes used unsavory language, I often used the expression “Bull S***.” As I grew up a bit and discovered it was not necessary to use such crude language, the expression became “BS.”

What did I really mean when I used those expressions? I meant that something was ridiculous, or idiotic or a half truth or just plain stupid. It covered any number of negative formats. The dictionary defines it as: nonsense; especially: foolish insolent talk.

I have decided that I no longer will use either of those expressions in the future. When I have a need to express such feelings, I will use the word “pelosi.” Let me use it in a sentence. “That’s just a bunch of pelosi.”  I encourage you to do the same. It is such a nasty sounding word, it really packs a punch, we are no longer being vulgar, and it clearly expresses our feelings. If enough of us use it, perhaps the word could be entered into the dictionary.

When on a ranch watch your step and don’t step in pelosi. It will get on the bottom of your boot and won’t go away until the next election. What a fitting and descriptive legacy for the Speaker of the House!

PASS IT ON TO AT LEAST 10,000,000 PEOPLE. DO NOT BREAK THIS CHAIN OR YOU WILL GET MORE PELOSI THAN YOU CAN SHAKE A BULL AT.

Please and thank you.  

Posted by  |  April 9, 2010 | Categories: Entertainment, News, Ocean, Rants, Relationships, Thoughts, Vacation | Leave a comment

Second chances

I don’t know what it’s gonna take for me to figure out that 20 minutes is not enough time for me to get ready for work in the morning. Ugh.

Ever since 9/11, I’ve made it a point to stay up on current news and information. For this reason, I signed up to receive the cnn ‘breaking news’ emails at work. This was what I came into this morning:

……A passenger on a United flight from Washington to Denver apparently tried to set shoe on fire, officials said.

WTF?

Other than all the pollen, I am enjoying the forest that has finally filled in beyond my balcony. Here’s a shot from yesterday evening.

On the drive in to work this morning, once again I got to thinking about life. (sound the alarms) A certain Daughtry song is very thought-provoking when it comes to second chances in life.

All that I’m after is a life full of laughter, as long as I’m laughin’ with you… All that still matters is love ever after, after the life we’ve been through…’Cause I know there’s no life after you.

Pretty deep.

Posted by  |  April 8, 2010 | Categories: Home, Music, News, Political, Thoughts | Leave a comment

Olé

Had my guy over to eat last night. I cooked…

You got it. Full-on course o’ mexican. Ground beef, chicken and steak with all the trimmings along with refried beans, spanish rice, chips and fire-roasted salsa. Pretty much one of those dishes I could eat every day.

The now well-traveled Guadalupé says ‘Hola, Amigos – Bienvenidos!’ Hey, who needs a travelocity gnome when you’ve got a traveling Guadalupé!? I found this little guy yesterday (don’t ask me how). The name Guadalupé immediately came to mind (don’t ask me why). After that, he circulated around in pretty much everything I did. Guadalupé has made appearances in my work, emails, IMs and texts – now he’s found his way into my blog. Who knows where he and his 5 o’clock shadow will end up next. Okay, I think I mentioned yesterday that it actually takes very little to entertain me, and if there’s any one thing I’m good at – it’s entertaining myself.

So I was danger ALERT thinking about a tweet I recently saw. Yeah, twitter really can be educational. It’s always been interesting to me how stoplights operate. Whether or not they’re timed or actually have a sensor has always been a hilariously controversial subject between a certain person and myself. Of course there’s a webpage answer – I would expect nothing less!! Functionality of a traffic light

I think facebook poking is funny as hell. Especially the ‘perpetual’ poke. Have I mentioned the fact that it takes very little to entertain me?

Posted by  |  April 7, 2010 | Categories: Food, Home, Humor, Thoughts | Leave a comment

Prime Time

Ah, the beautiful color of Spring – green yellow.

I don’t really have any insightful thoughts this morning (or crazed ramblings, to the readers’ advantage). My thoughts and prayers do go out to all the families in WVA affected by the terrible mining explosion. I read that it’s the most fatal mining tragedy to occur in America since 1984. What these families must be going through is simply incomprehensible.

Time is really going by fast escaping me, so much so that it’s making my head spin. Really. I told someone yesterday that there just doesn’t seem to be enough time in the day to get everything done, and then get to bed on time. Bad thing is, I don’t know when all this became so apparent…

I SO want to enjoy the spring and summer months. I wanna sit on my porch and enjoy a bagel and orange juice (minus the bees and wasps, wtf’s up with them this year anyway). I wanna go places. I wanna wear my flip-flops, tank tops and shorts 24/7 (okay, I actually wanna do this year-round). I wanna feel the warm summer night air on my bare skin while listening to the crickets sing. I wanna see the hummingbirds fight for their food. I wanna feel the waves crash on my thighs. I wanna drink a seabreeze while feeling the light tingle of too much sun for the day. I wanna lie on a boat all day long on the lake, jumping in every now and again to cool off. I wanna….

Yep – the time is prime. Too bad there’s just not enough hours in the day to enjoy it.

Posted by  |  April 6, 2010 | Categories: News, Thoughts | Leave a comment

A Dis N Dat Monday

I was probably with the general population of people who didn’t want to get out of bed this morning. This put me in about a 30-minute time difference in crossing the bridge. Once again, it was hard to keep my eyes off the lake. The sun had already tipped the horizon lending the water some of it’s rising color – gentle pinks and blues.

I paid a little more attention this morning to something that used to be subliminal, but has become increasingly annoying to me. Let me first say that I do NOT drive and text. I will not even LOOK at my phone if my car is moving, even to read an incoming text. Trust me, I realize the danger and what it can result in. Now, with that said – I will read them when I come to a stop at a red light, and respond if I still have time. When that red light turns green though, my phone gets placed safely back in the console regardless of whether I’m finished or not (gotta love that autosave).

So what is annoying to me? The eyes. Yeah, I can feel ’em. The person in the lane beside me (usually in an SUV for reason of them sitting higher) that is staring at me like I’m committing a criminal act. Get over it dudes – there ARE people out there that obey the law and put the damn phone down when they’re supposed to. As well, I have never been hindered at noticing the change in the stoplight from red to green. This is because I’m still paying more attention to the traffic than the phone. Anyway, that’s my rant for the day.

The leaves are filling in so nicely on the trees. Along with it of course comes the pollen, but gotta take the bad with the good. I just had a coworker come in on top of the world. Her guy came into town for an extended visit this past weekend and she is definitely sporting a perma-grin. 😀 Just made my day.

Posted by  |  April 5, 2010 | Categories: Nature, Opinion, Rants | Leave a comment

Easter Seal

It’s Easter Sunday, and He Has Risen. I thank God for sending his only son down to us to die for our sins – and for giving us this beautiful day to serve as a reminder. My faith in this most generous and selfless act is forever sealed.

It’s been the best weekend of the year so far for me, and Ima happy girl. 😆 I was off Friday, so we got up that morning and headed to the (still somewhat new) indoor fleamarket in a neighboring town. After that I went to see my Dad for his birthday since they had plans the day before. That night, I packed up myself and Camille and headed to my guy’s house for the weekend. Saturday morning he cooked a feast of a breakfast including hashbrowns, then suggested we walk some of it off by visiting the new IKEA store in the University area. He had been there before, first time for me. Simply put, that place is massive.

Camille has been one trip of a cat this time around. She’s enjoyed the many springtime birds that taunt her through so many open windows. The weather’s been just perfect.

I’m currently laying out in the sun watching him wax my car. Life is good, and I don’t want this weekend to end.

Posted by  |  April 4, 2010 | Categories: Animals, Holidays, Thoughts | Leave a comment