Sometimes…
I always enjoy conversations with my Dad. I can always depend on him to give me his honest opinion as well as a fresh male perspective on things, no matter how deep the subject matter. The other day he and I were in a discussion and he said something that really made me think. He told me, “sometimes you have to close one door in order to open another“. Now, there’s a world of difference between this saying and “when one door closes, another one opens”.
Case in point. A few posts back, I wrote ‘August first’ in which I described the one-year anniversary my boyfriend and I had, and some reflections I had of that year. In doing so, I also felt the need to clarify some ‘trying times’ that had occurred just a couple weeks prior to that. I told my Dad of this and why I felt this need to explain myself. Then he said it… “well, you know – sometimes you have to close one door in order to open another.” It makes a lot of sense if you think about it. I closely relate this little nugget of wisdom to ‘tending to unfinished business’ or ‘tying up loose ends’. I love wise sayings like this one which serves to ‘simplify life’ a little more… which I think we all could use more of.
Thanks, Dad.
A fish named Bonnie
Oh how I’ve missed my little blog! I feel the weight of a thousand plus words just waiting to be written, though I’ll spare you that one today. It really is amazing how dependent I’ve gotten on this ‘release valve’ of mine (I love calling it that) and when I can’t write, or vent, well – it’s like a part of me is missing.
Late last week I graciously acquired a case of the intestinal flu. I have not been this sick in at least twenty years – it literally landed me on my ass. This is something that I would not wish on my very worst enemy. I was more than a little concerned over our beach trip and the fact that my boyfriend would also contract this highly contagious virus, since we’d been together for dinner just the night prior. Amazingly enough, as of right now post-weekend – he’s still virus-free. I thank the Lord for this.
So we had our little beach trip. 🙂 K called it ‘one of the most amazing times he’s ever had’ to which I have to agree. Ironically enough, his sister and her husband were also taking a trip down there, staying 2 blocks up from us! It made for double fun, we got together for a bikini lunch on the beach then had dinner later at Murrell’s Inlet, and barhopped a couple of venues there on the tiki strip.
Saturday night, we went out to the infamous Garden City Pier (I heart this place) where in peak season, a band plays at both ends of the pier. We actually found a table at the end of the pier where the band Coldshot was playing. Keith made a dream of mine come true when he stood and held his hand out to me for our first slow-dance ever on the pier. I can honestly say I have never been more in love with him than at that very moment – and it’s that moment in time I know I’ll remember for the rest of my life.
Another first happened when we were in the ocean – we were about waist-deep (chest-deep with the waves) when he noticed about 100 or so feet out a pack of dolphins gracing us with their presence. As the waves allowed, we watched them move rhythmically in and out for about 8 minutes from one side of the ocean to the other, until they finally faded from our sight. I’ve never physically been in the ocean and privy to dolphin sitings all at once, and we both felt very privileged.
I’ll even go so far as to say it was magical. But then again… so was the dance.
It’s all about US
K and I went out for Mexican last night to a fave little hangout, then touched on a few stores looking for a very particular type of lounge-chair. The chairs look something like this…
These chairs just look like us. And yes, there’s a particular reason we need want them. There will be an upcoming beach trip in our future. Not a long one, but one nonetheless. A high-rise oceanfront trip to the beach is very much mandated at this time… as well as a few slow dances on the end of a very long pier, Nights in Rodanthe style.
Our last beach trip was during New Year’s Eve 2010, which was absolutely the coolest New Year’s I’ve ever had – not to mention the most meaningful. I don’t even have words to describe the deep respect he and I have for one another – the things we’ve been through together and how we’ve chosen to deal with them have only served to make each of us a stronger and hopefully wiser individual.
The philosophical tangent is done. Suffice it to say I need a vacation. As for K? Well, put a man on a decade-plus long stretch of no vacations, and believe me when I say he’s ready too.
And I’m more than willing to help entertain. 🙂
The Picture
After a hearty Cracker Barrel breakfast on Sunday morning, K suggested driving down to the newest indoor fleamarket to walk some of the food off, to which I happily obliged.
There was no agenda, nor any certain thing we were looking for. The few times we’ve been to the place (ah, air-conditioning is a must) we’ve come away empty-handed – but it’s all good. K loves antiques, and is quite educated about them. Honestly, for me, it’s the walking around together and ‘discovering things’ with each other that matters so – it seems to go unsaid that he feels the same way. So we walk, hold hands and talk, and look… and happen upon it…
The print is entitled, Making Friends. The artist is Burton Dye, and the debut date was 1986. Same graduation year, and same high school… yes, yet more nostalgia.
K just finished remodeling his own bedroom, and in doing so moved into a larger room in his house. The color of paint he chose was a light to medium sort of periwinkle blue – it hints of blue, gray and lavender, and translates to airy and soothing. In combination with his dark furniture and just the right amount of beautiful sunlight the room gets, it was an exquisite choice.
Making Friends ~ ©Burton Dye 1986
Flashback to the picture. There it sat, amongst it’s competition, all of which were neatly lined along the floor of the vendor. Just like magnets, both of us were instantly drawn to this one. Print no. 1241 of 1900, it said – and it was very much in mint condition. Still in it’s original frame and matte, the wood frame has two tiny periwinkle blue pinstripes down all four sides that matches the matte – these were only visible up close.
The print is an image of a small boy with blonde hair, sitting along the shore of a riverbank to feed a flock of geese and goslings. The boy’s portrayal in the print is nothing less than that of pure innocence. I have yet to share my own perception of the art with K.
Shown is a young, innocent boy – soon to be in search of the finer things in life, which Capricorns are so noted for – but also appreciating the simple things. His love for animals is well-noted… as well as his love for the water – and fishing. The boy’s youth still leaves much to the imagination, such a large future lies ahead of him. With the comparable difference being light brown instead of blonde hair, I think the profile of this young lad so very closely coincides with that of K’s own childhood pictures. I think it’s fair to say this print has captured a piece of my heart for many years to come now…
August first
Well, it’s now August. I can’t believe how fast this summer has gone by. This summer, and well, the whole year for that matter.
August 1st is a special day for me. It’s the one-year anniversary of mine and K’s first date. I can’t believe it’s been a year already…
We love reminiscing about how nervous we both were on that Saturday night a year ago. Being that we hadn’t seen each other in so many years, I opted to walk down and meet him in my parking lot instead of the added stress for both of us with him coming up to the condo. The walk down all the steps from the third floor seemed to take forever, and I was hoping to God I wouldn’t trip and fall down them in my heels. There, leaning back against the hood of his car in true 60’s Greaser fashion, was the most beautiful man I’d ever seen – grinning like the Cheshire Cat on Alice in Wonderland. As I went up to hug him, my heart was about to beat out of my chest and I hoped he couldn’t see it. On that first date we ended up going to a place right across the river to eat, then catching the latest Harry Potter movie. Guess you could say we’ve been kinda stuck like glue together ever since, and well, I wouldn’t want it any other way. 
I’ve got more up the ole’ dayplanner sleeve that I’ve nostalgically saved, but posting some of those monumental moments on here just wouldn’t be fitting. But hey, don’t I get a pat on the back for not kissing him on the first date? Or is that more deserving of a slap? **dumbass**
It should go without saying that having a high level of mutual respect for each other is a must-have in every successful relationship. Just a couple of weeks ago, K’s ex made a grave attempt to worm her way back into his life – even being so desperate as to use their daughter as bait. The transparency of the lies she told were obvious to everyone. Of course, there was also a hidden agenda behind the facade. You see, she’s faced with much certainty of losing her case in court, and trust me when I say it’s gonna be sweet retribution for a man who was put through absolute hell for so many years. But not to worry – I didn’t just take his word for it. A woman with even half a brain will do her research on a prospective partner. I’m friends with a couple of people who actually know this woman… and she is indeed lower than a snake.
Last night he and I went out and did a little pre-celebrating. The restaurant we ate at last year has since closed down, and word has it that the local pub and grill across the street has the same owners, just took on a different name. He suggested going there for nostalgia’s sake, so we did. The food and drinks were excellent but the service really sucked! Upon learning that we were ‘only’ ordering appetizers and drinks (which still resulted in over a $30 bill) the waitress apparently decided we were deserving of neither good service nor a good attitude. As with most things though, we joked and took this in stride, and moved on across the street to the much more upscale restaurant that my own daughter works at. Of course, we got excellent service there – along with the additional bonus of us all getting to spend some quality time together and cut up for a while. 🙂 She was right… we shoulda just went there in the first place.
Cat of the Day
I have the sweetest cat. Thank you, Lord. Don’t get me wrong, even if I’d had the misfortune of having a mean one I’d just deal with it, since I don’t believe in giving up the animals you made a commitment with unless something is really amiss. Of course I realize there are extreme instances that do warrant replacement, and by that I mean re-homing.
In any case, both of the past two cats I’ve owned are simply… well, female. My Sadie who passed in 2006, was a Queen. She never knew a stranger, and would come up to non-cat persons and make a spot on their lap – providing them with the added bonus of making biscuits. This always got a giggle out of me. Camille, my current babygirl, is a Princess. She however is an introvert, and takes much time to acquire the trust of any person. The two personalities couldn’t have been any further apart.
I’m quite aware that there are loads of cat-haters out there. I even read a post of a favorite blogger recently about how loathsome this person thought cats were… he wrote of how they ‘lurk in the shadows’ and ‘don’t ever show theirselves unless it’s to attack’. Sweet bejesus, nothing could be further from the truth. This person obviously neither a) never owned a cat, b) had a feral (wild) cat, or c) lived a party-like-its-1999 lifestyle where the animal was just plain afraid to come out.
How about this… my girl meets me at the door every day. If she’s not there yet, then she’s running (yes running) from the back bedroom to the front door to me – bleary-eyed as hell from her afternoon-long nap. It’s the same ritual every day… I scoop her up on my shoulder and start talking baybay talk to her. She, in turn, starts snuggling my neck as if wanting to almost crawl into me. I walk her around the condo bouncing her like a baybay (should I be embarrassed?) (have I mentioned how very vocal she is?). She is so vocal during the rest of the night that I’m beginning to realize I need a laptop BAD. The crying that goes on during my time behind the iMac is absolutely unreal. All the instances in-between this are… well, let’s just say that we never lack for conversation. The word spoiled pretty much sums it up! I need to add in the fact that she absolutely LOVES my guy. And that, ummm… she owns him. 😉
I entered Camille in the Cat for a Day contest on a local country station, Kat Country 96.9 (wkktfm.com). While I believe that most entries secure a spot on the calendar, I was surprised that my entry today made tomorrow’s calendar spot. So, therein lies Camille’s 15 minutes of Limelight.
I’m proud of my July 29, 2010 kitty…
Cow Killers – the Red Velvet Ant revisited
Here at wordpress we’re fortunate enough to have a stats feature that informs us of our most-read posts. I personally find this feature useful, and in paying close attention to it for the past month, have found one post that supersedes all others by a mile. It is the post I wrote on my experience with the Red Velvet Ant.
I had never seen one prior to that one instance. At the time, it’s mere image was so unrealistically startling that I questioned whether or not I was dreaming. I haven’t ran across another one since then, which if I never do again it’ll be too soon… but apparently a LOT of you out there are coming in contact with them this summer. The google search terms that people use to find information on them are plentiful, which lets me know they are still very much alive and well.
The insect coined the name ‘Cow Killers’ because when cows graze, they often pull the grass up by the roots, and sometimes attached to it is a less than friendly red velvet ant. The insect will then crawl up the nostril or face of the cow and sting it. Although ten times more powerful than that of a red ant, it’s a myth that it’s sting is lethal enough to kill a cow, unless of course there are multiple attacks. The female Cow Killers are wingless, which is what I encountered. They crawl around the ground looking for the holes of other bugs such as ground-nesting bees. They’ll infiltrate the nest, find a cocoon and eat a hole in it, then deposit an egg. When it hatches, it then feeds on the bee larva. Amazingly enough the insect is born as white, legless grub and will go through many stages before metamorphing into fuzzy Red Velvet Ants.
Here’s a very informative video on this most interesting insect which is really a wasp. This lady is well-informed and shares some very useful information on this most intriguing insect.
Click here for a short informative video on the Cow Killer
Photos © Kim Hosen;Merrimac Farm Wildlife Management Area, Nokesville, VA; September 2009
A New Head
Last night’s fortune: (opened today)
Oh, don’t worry, Netherworld, I won’t lose it. But be advised – I also find beauty in the most loveliest of things as well… 🙂
Ironically enough, it was only recently in my forty-two years of living that I was educated on the fact that the word ‘head’ was coined by sailors when referring to a bathroom on a ship. Back in the days of the Sailing Ships, the Navy (and all vessels) placed their bathrooms at the front (the bow, or Head) of the ship. (The “Head” is also a reference to the ornate decorations of Mermaids found on the bow of many vessels).
Anyway, you might think it funny to place a bathroom at the front of the ship. Each time the ship moves, the smell should flow back over the rest of the ship, right? No, because this was in the days of sail. In order for a ship to move, the wind had to come from behind, catch the sails and move the ship. The wind would always move faster than the ship, thus carrying any odors arising from the ‘Head’ away from the vessel. So now that this little image is fresh in your ‘head’…
For many years, I have had a bathroom fetish. I simply love looking at beautiful bathrooms. One could really spend a ton of money on the design and construction of one so gorgeous, and many do. It would be a dream to design one of my very own someday, although you’d probably have to pry me from it on a daily basis. Being as how I live in a leased condo, it shall remain a dream for now. Thought I’d share a few to fourteen very favorite pictures that I ran across.
Back to the beauty.
✔ You’ve got…. Mail.
More drama unfolds at the old Bon-stead. For those of you who don’t know me personally let me say that I abhor drama – be it a hint, piece or load of it. I had far too large a helping of it in my old life and let’s just say it soured me on any future meals. Anywho…
Yesterday my boyfriend’s *ex* contacted me via email. She wanted to clue me in on some not-so-nice things about him, one in particular. This time, I was willing to listen to what she had to say. After all, I’m a strong adult female, and I deserve to ‘be in the know’ on a person that may very well become a part of my future. I thought… after I hear what she has to say I can then make the decision to believe all, some, or part of it – or none, as the case may be.
Let me just say I don’t dis-believe what she had to say. Now let me attempt to break this all down.
While I don’t profess to be a psychiatrist, I will say something stands out here in the fact that she would contact me in the first place. This isn’t the first time, either – just the first time I responded back. Either a) she still loves him and wants him back, b) she hates him and doesn’t want him to be happy, or c) all of the above. My choice? C. Ding-ding!! I do believe I won the prize…
Case in point – my own ex has dated a wonderful woman for about a year and a half now. Not only is he undeserving of a woman of such statutes as she, but he does nothing in an attempt to improve his lifestyle in order to even try to reach her level. Never have I seen two more different people. When I learned of them dating, I immediately felt much empathy for her – and admit I even contemplated contacting her and trying to warn her. That thought lasted an hour at the most – I would’ve been a fool to do it. I mean c’mon, she’s a big girl – and would you like to try and guess how it would’ve been taken? Just like I told my guy’s *ex* yesterday… it likely would’ve either fallen on deaf ears, or she would’ve have immediately thought I wanted him back. So, I opted not to. And I know it was a good decision.
Something else to consider is the fact that people do change. While this change isn’t always for the better, miracles do sometimes happen. I’ve seen a few hard, hard souls out there make the switch from dark to light – I know that it is possible. Now… should you use this possibility as an excuse to remain in an abusive relationship? Absolutely not. What I am saying is sometimes a person comes out of a relationship having actually learned something – and applies it in their next one. That is all.
Thought I’d attach a pic I took this morning of my little haven in the sky, while at least some of my plants are still living. I’ve already lost three to the heat. Speaking of heat, best get out and enjoy a little outdoor time before it kicks in today. (Note morning bagel to your immediate left.) Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off for a much-needed recount of my many blessings.
Peace, y’all.
Oh…I almost forgot!! Please check out my friend’s blog… and welcome Southern Sweet Tea! She’s a real gem, folks. Southern Sweet Tea’s blog
Green eggs and ham, hurricane Bonnie I am
It’s basically what I feel like this morning, green and salty. I could think of no better title. I know my last few posts have ventured over to the darker side, and I need to brighten it up. There’s no better way to begin that brighter note than to say it is a Friday!
I’m not gonna have the chance to write about this again for a long time, as it’s already been twelve years since the last one. I doubt I’ll reach hurricane status this time, but we’ll see.
Photo courtesy ABC news
The last hurricane Bonnie was in 1998. Ironically enough, she made landfall on August 27th, my eleventh wedding anniversary. 1998 was to be an iconic year for me, just as 2008 was. Something about that number 8 has always come into play for me. In 1988, my beautiful daughter was born. In 1998, my dear stepfather left this earth to go to heaven. And in 2008, I walked away from a twenty-one year marriage. I have more fascinating stories… but that’s a whole other blog. 🙂
I don’t know where you guys are – but it’s supposed to reach 100 degrees here for at least the next three days. Guess this begins the old ‘dog days of summer’. Hope everyone has a fantastic weekend… and stay cool out there!!
Gripes©
No one likes a person that constantly complains. I like to refer to them as ‘downers’, because let’s face it – unless it’s done in humorous fashion, it does bring you down. Sometimes though, you just need to get things off your chest. Things you might normally let slide or roll off your back on a daily basis can mount up and come out in a very bad way if you don’t unload every once in a while.
So, gentle readers, be forewarned that today will be my bitch day. Hey… I’ve done a ‘things I love’ blog before. It’s only fitting that I have a ‘things I hate’ one…
- I hate running across people I call ‘provers’. These people basically need to have whatever you tell them proven right then in order to believe you.
- I hate when I say something about a restaurant that I went to the night before, and a downer is listening and informs me that they don’t have any food in their cabinets.
- I hate when I pay extra for a Marie Callendar’s frozen entree for lunch, and the contents ends up being smaller than that of a Lean Cuisine or Healthy Choice.
- I hate the fact that apparently I’m the only person at work that has the expertise of changing a toilet paper roll. I’ve tested this theory several different ways on many occasions.
- I hate when a stranger 20+ years your elder brazenly uses their age as an excuse to advance ahead of you – and I’m not just talking about lines.
- I hate when a guy believes certain chores are not made for them to do.
- I hate when a guy postpones vacationing, even a simple 2-day beach trip – then suggests tagging along with his mother for the weekend on her trip.
- (Red flag)
- I hate when a guy suggests hopping on your cellphone plan, and you blog about how much that bothered you – then the next night he tells you he’s hopping on his mother’s plan.
- (Dark red flag)
- I hate when normal grooming habits are forgotten or ignored. Everyone I mean everyone knows how I feel about this. Enough said.
- I hate when an otherwise enjoyable trip to a local Japanese steakhouse is thwarted by patrons who believe your space should include their conversations and children.
- I hate when my financial situation is prejudged by another, as in “you should be doing okay now that your car is paid off”.
- I hate when people have trouble addressing a problem and end up just letting it go without confronting and/or attempting to fix it.
- This list will most definitely be continued at a later date. Until then… thank you, dear readers, for the unload.
A Voice
I have a good friend that’s decided to bite the bullet and start blogging. Not only is she an extremely smart and beautiful lady, but well-versed. I’m willing to bet she will enjoy it – and I look forward to reading. I’ll be sure to cue you in on the page when she gets it up and running.
Many of us have been subjected to broken trust and loyalty throughout our lives – some more than others. The last thing you need is to keep it all to yourself… what you need is to be heard. An outlet, a source which you may unload on every once in a while. A while back I suggested that a blog might be the very venue my friend needed. It provides an opportunity to be heard, a chance to voice anything and/or everything you’ve wanted to say for a long time now. She asked me ‘do you think the word bitch in my title would be offensive and draw negative feedback?’ To which I replied chuckling, ‘ya know, there’s always going to be something that offends someone out there.’ And that’s true, no matter what.
It got me to thinking about life in general, and how it is we’ve arrived at the point of being a functioning adult human being… exactly what it is that has made up the mindset, emotions and character of who we are now. Do I believe that we continually change throughout life? Yes. Do I believe that what we’ve been through in the past actually shapes the person we are today, as well as the person we are to become? Absolutely. We will not be the exact same person a year from now as we are today. These changes will be determined by the events and occurrences within our lives, and how we choose to react or deal with them. Like my grandmother always told me… ‘bunny-rabbit…it ain’t always easy’.
Fear Factor
There was another shark attack on the SC coastline this past weekend involving a 13-yr old girl, and I just read of another incident yesterday with a 10-year old boy. Though both were injured, they’ll be okay. Are the attacks increasing, or is it just me?
I probably watched a total of several hours combined this weekend of Expedition Great White on Nat Geo channel. These presentations are obviously a very favorite of mine, and anytime one is on (any shark show, for that matter) it never ceases to capture my full attention. Aside from pursuing writing, it would’ve been a lifetime dream to have a career in marine biology. I simply cannot imagine the ability to do that for a living. I’d literally scrub the decks of the vessel just to be there for a couple weeks time, to have that experience. I hope to be able to go down in a cage someday… I know it’s gotta be expensive, but it’s on my bucket-list anyway.
©2010, National Geographic
This shark was successfully tagged and released on an episode of Expedition Great White. The scientists, doctors and crew are all super-intricately careful as to how this is accomplished – and the safety of the shark is of utmost importance. I felt the need to explain the purpose of this photo because it almost appears as a hunt-and-capture shot… but it’s not.
We are learning so much more about these magnificent creatures. The research being done on them now has intensified times ten. It amazes me every time I witness a twenty-foot great white be caught, exhausted, and captured temporarily on a custom platform designed specifically for it. This has enabled so many different procedures to be performed that were never before possible. The sharks are successfully released well within 20 minutes. These shows have really raised awareness of our marine life, for which I’m grateful.
My mother and I used to go way out into the ocean, floating sometimes for long periods. We never pondered the the thought of a shark, much less ever ‘worried’ about it. Now? Well, I still love and respect the ocean more than ever. But you would literally have to dope me up (very well) in order to get me to go out over my head and remain there for any length of time NOW. So what’s changed? I mean, we knew enough then – we’d even seen the movie Jaws. But we didn’t have that certain ‘fear factor’ then. I’m still not quite getting that.
There are several things you can do to help prevent a shark attack, most of which are common sense. Even with that said, sometimes common sense factors aren’t exercised. For one, don’t go out swimming around a pier. Swimming in water where all that bait is never smart, besides, you don’t want to be hooked yourself, right? Also, stay in groups whenever possible as sharks are more likely to attack a solitary individual. Avoid being in the water around daybreak or twilight, because this is when sharks are most active. Never wade deep when you are bleeding. Avoid wearing shiny jewelry, since the reflected light resembles the sheen of fish scales. Lastly, avoid areas where you see diving seabirds – this generally signals a sign of bait fishes or other feeding activity.
If you are in the ocean and spot a shark, the international hand signal for ‘shark’ is a flat hand with thumb against forehead, as in a fin. Be sure to use it if you need to – your voice alone is not much help when you’re in the ocean.
For the latest information on shark attacks, this one’s a great tool. http://www.sharkattackinfo.com/
A Rainbow in my Pocket
Rain, rain, and more rain. And more in the forecast… bring it on, I say. We’ve had a bit of the wet stuff this weekend. I simply love thunderstorms. A good hard rainstorm seems to enhance whatever mood you’re in, which isn’t always a good thing. To me, the intense force of a storm is calming. I can sleep my very best during a thunderstorm.
Two different rainbows arrived after the showers yesterday. Rainbows may be seen whenever there are water drops in the air and sunlight is shining from behind at a low altitude angle. The most spectacular rainbow displays happen when half of the sky is still dark with rain clouds and the observer is at a spot with clear sky in the direction of the Sun. This is why we often will spot a rainbow when it’s raining and the sun is shining. The result? A breathtaking, sometimes double, rainbow. A beautiful rainbow that I want to hold onto forever.
In other news, I saw the movie Inception yesterday. This is a must-see in my opinion! As much as I love dreams and the analysis of them, I really ‘got into’ this movie. Yes yes… I highly recommend.
Watch the trailer here, after clicking ‘enter site’. If you haven’t seen it yet, it’ll blow your mind. http://inceptionmovie.warnerbros.com/
To Mom
She said it herself about a week ago. ‘When she hurts, I hurt’. Well, my turn to say it now.
When she hurts, I hurt. My precious mother. I don’t want to get too technical on here for reason of privacy. But what I will say is that she’s been through way more than her share of hurt and heartache in her life. So much so, that I’m often amazed at the fact she hasn’t ever broken.
Yesterday was a birthdate of extreme significance to her. That in itself is always hard, when that time rolls around – as well as several other dates throughout the year.
Quite often I look at her strength, which she would probably argue the fact that she has, with much admiration. She has pushed through the hardest of times all while exuberating class and dignity. Not just part of the time… but all of the time.
She’s dedicated much time and patience in teaching her only child what it truly means to be a real southern lady. While I haven’t always been the best student, the old saying is true… you never stop learning.
So, Mom – know that you have an admirer out there. Though it’s for certain I’m not the only one – your baby girl will always be your number one fan.
You’re a Grown Man. Man Up.
Last night I had dinner with a good friend that I haven’t seen in far too long. Four hours just wasn’t long enough to catch up on all that’s been going on in our lives, but I’ll have to say we gave it our best shot.
Of course, the big topic of the night – men. The men that were, and the men that are. And realizing that there is no being out there that is perfect, man or woman… it, ummm… got me thinking.
Dear Gentlemen:
Security really IS everything to us. This isn’t just something from the era of our parents and grandparents; we want to be assured someone really does have our backs. This doesn’t mean we don’t want to work ourselves – it simply means we don’t want to be the only one working.
You should never allow your lady to get out of the car at a convenience store when you see a person of compromising interest lurking approaching others in the parking lot. This is the equivalent of putting her in a dangerous/deadly situation. If you’re not the one who’s willing to make the run inside, drive to the next store down the road.
Making the suggestion of hopping onto your lady’s cellphone plan to save you money is not a good idea, no matter what day of the week you do it on. You are the man, get your own plan. (If you’d like to take this a step further, when you get your own plan you can suggest her hopping onto yours, to save her some money.)
Under no circumstances should you allow a female ‘friend’ access to walk into your house unannounced while your lady is there with you. This should go unsaid, but apparently it still happens. Ladies don’t like sharing the house with another woman even if you do own the place.
A good mode of transportation is a must. This includes the ‘luxury’ of heat in the winter and a/c in the summer. I think I can speak for most ladies when I say we don’t want to be taken out on dates in our own cars. Not every time, anyway.
Sincerely, the Ladies
An awesome blog to follow is http://youareagrownman.com/. The combination of truth, humor and common sense makes for a great blogger – and he has my utmost respect. I try to never miss a day of it. 🙂
Soul Sucker
Ever since I cancelled my cable, I tend to stay behind on the Hollywood news. I’m well aware that some people think it’s silly to keep up with famous people anyway – but it’s more of a curiousity to me, the ability to see how the ‘other half’ lives.
The Mel Gibson telephone conversations with his wife – I just ran across a few of the audio recordings online. Oh. My. God.
To say this ‘man’ has serious, serious, serious problems would have to be the understatement of the decade. In my opinion, Ms. Grigorieva did the right thing by acquiring a restraining order before it was too late. Say what you will about her secretly taping him… I personally think she did the right thing. The whole situation, left as-is, surely would have resulted in tragedy. Given his fame and social status, she likely would’ve had problems proving that her very own life, and that of her child, was in danger.
It’s obvious there is no arguing with him – simply listening to the recordings is proof enough the rational is just not there. Something is so definitely amiss here… I’m no psych doctor, but I am able to recognize that little factoid all the way from Hollywood over to the east coast. Ranting and yelling until he’s hoarse; cursing, lewdness – he leaves no stone unturned. No area unchartered. Beats her right down to a pulp. Yells that she deserves a bat to the head, that he’ll bury her in the garden. On another audio, he admitted hitting her in the face with their baby on her lap, even breaking her teeth. You needn’t see any video to hear the sneer in his voice when he boldly yelled that she deserved it.
And guess who’s to blame? That’s right, folks. It’s all her fault. Amazing, isn’t it? From start to finish, she’s to blame – the fact that his career is over, that he has no friends, literally everything.
You cannot argue with a person who possesses that ‘something’ in their brain which causes them to act – and react – like this. I shuddered the entire time I listened to this, because it beared such a striking similarity of the many instances which occurred in my old life. Instances that up until recently I was embarrassed to even speak of. I haven’t had to witness this type of violent behavior in years, and hearing it again tonight brought it all back. I so despised the sinking wave of weakness it brought over me. For the entire eight minutes of audio, I felt as though I was inside her – sitting there with no voice, once again powerless. Beaten. Broken. Reduced to nothing, yet again.
Have a listen for yourself. This is only one of the releases, to date there are four – all equally as disturbing. Be forewarned – if you’re offended by ‘mature’ language you may want to skip this one. To be quite honest… it was his whole violent demeanor that got to me. Bad.
Link to Mel Gibson telephone “conversation”… one of four.
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If you or someone you know is in a situation of domestic violence, please get help.
There ARE people who CARE.
For the love of God, yourself, your children – DON’T stay and become a statistic…
these numbers are growing daily.
Click here for link to National Domestic Violence 24-hr Hotline.
BREATHE
I recently received an email entitled “Courage”. It got me to thinking. What exactly is courage? Furthermore, what about the courage to love?
Fairy tales? No such thing. Forever afters? Hac-tuiii. Pardonne moi….
I have to laugh to keep from crying, more. For the past couple of days my face has resembled something monstrous and I’m growing weary of it. Quite simply, my heart is breaking. Right now I just feel like retreating inside my cave for, well forever.
The Courage to Love. I’ve always been a firm believer of the old saying ‘If you love something, set it free – if it comes back to you, it’s yours. If it doesn’t, it never was.’ Well… up to a point, anyway. One should never go so far as to allow their selves to become a doormat for anyone else.
I guess I’m old fashioned, I’ll admit that. I am southern, after all. I’ve never been one of these feminists who mandate equality of the sexes, and never will. It’s my belief that women shouldn’t ‘chase’ men – it should be the other way around. I also believe that if a man loves a woman enough… I mean really loves them… they won’t let her go without a fight. They’ll do anything and everything to keep her – anything less than that simply isn’t real. Call it what you will – it’s an illusion. Don’t fool yourself. Life’s too short.
Hey, self – remember this: I Myself, will NOT… break. Already been through Hell and back once – and I ain’t planning a return trip anytime soon.
Post Pardon
So remind me please of why I’m up at 4:30am perched behind the keyboard. Maybe it’s because after lying in bed for over two hours prior with my brain scrambling at 200+mph, I opted for the only escape hatch in sight – my computer. Yes, today should be a nice little productive day at work. Seriously, I’m thinking maybe I can just submerge myself in the huge workload I’m supposed to have coming and forget about everything in my personal life for a few to eight hours.
I’m living the whole once upon a time theatrical bit. I don’t know what it’s gonna take in life for me to realize that there are no fairy tales, nor fairy tale endings. The reality is, no matter how happy you are, or how happy you think your partner may be – there’s always going to be that third person infiltrator. Hell, maybe fourth fifth and sixth, for that matter. They may come sooner, they may come later, but make no mistake – they always show up. And sometimes, they just walk right on into the house without even knocking. Without being asked or invited. Because that’s what a little harlot infiltrator will do. Oh, sorry… just thought I’d throw an example in there for ya.
Oh, girl… you should always ‘fight for your man’! Love will prevail… stand tall and don’t let anyone infiltrate what you have, break out the big guns!
Ummm – nuh.
I am not in my twenties or even thirties anymore. Trust me when I say the old ‘fire in me’ can still be ignited – but it won’t be happening for the soul purpose of an attempt to save a relationship. I learned a long time ago that doesn’t work… it simply cannot be that one-sided. So what am I saying? That I am well past the point of exhausting myself in a heated battle or debate over a) how a partner should handle said infiltration, b) addressing the harlot personally, because it’s not me who should be taking care of the situation, c) launching an all-out war, thereby leaving not a shred of doubt as to how I really feel… or d) any or all of the above. No, instead, I’ll just opt to gracefully take a step back. If the situation continues… well, I don’t know how graceful it’ll be, but I will be bowing out completely.
Simply put.
Life of Bon 
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