To each his own. To me my own.

BREATHE

I recently received an email entitled “Courage”. It got me to thinking. What exactly is courage? Furthermore, what about the courage to love?

Fairy tales? No such thing. Forever afters? Hac-tuiii. Pardonne moi….

I have to laugh to keep from crying, more. For the past couple of days my face has resembled something monstrous and I’m growing weary of it. Quite simply, my heart is breaking. Right now I just feel like retreating inside my cave for, well forever.

The Courage to Love. I’ve always been a firm believer of the old saying ‘If you love something, set it free – if it comes back to you, it’s yours. If it doesn’t, it never was.’ Well… up to a point, anyway. One should never go so far as to allow their selves to become a doormat for anyone else.

I guess I’m old fashioned, I’ll admit that. I am southern, after all. I’ve never been one of these feminists who mandate equality of the sexes, and never will. It’s my belief that women shouldn’t ‘chase’ men – it should be the other way around. I also believe that if a man loves a woman enough… I mean really loves them… they won’t let her go without a fight. They’ll  do anything and everything to keep her – anything less than that simply isn’t real. Call it what you will – it’s an illusion. Don’t fool yourself. Life’s too short.

Hey, self – remember this: I Myself, will NOT… break. Already been through Hell and back once – and I ain’t planning a return trip anytime soon.

6 responses

  1. Ugh. Breaking my heart just reading it. Had a guy not fight for me once and thought I would never leave the cave. Once I left it, found one that would fight to the death for me and I for him. You’re right. (Even if you don’t want to be.) Hang in there. Put some cucumbers on the eyelids – and, one or two in your drink.

    July 14, 2010 at 10:49 am

    • Bonnie

      Thanks Emily, you have a wonderful way of making me feel better. **and she runs off to find the cucumbers**

      🙂

      July 14, 2010 at 4:59 pm

  2. Mom~

    You will never know how much strength you have until you find out that is your only option. God can heal the broken heart. That’s what I am praying for you. I am sure it is normal to be sad and grieve for a while. BUT it is easy to stay there too long! Okay? (Although if I was in your place, I think my anger would probably be over-riding my sadness, but that’s neither here nor there) .. So, anyway, after that, dry those tears and don’t look back – look forward! Everybody is pulling for you and loves you.

    January 22, 2013 at 2:49 pm

    • Thanks for your kind and loving words, Mom. I’ll be okay, just gonna take a little time. Love you.

      January 22, 2013 at 3:10 pm

  3. Helen Reynolds

    Why is it that everytime our hearts get broken we tell everyone “I’m fine. It’s just going to take some time”? When in fact we feel anything but fine. Inside you start thinking “was I not good enough? I gave him my all and it wasn’t what he needed or wanted”. In truth THEY are the ones who have a screw loose! And selfish comes to mind. I’m like your Mom, I would be mad as hell first, then the heartbreak would kick me in the gut and thats when I would crawl into my cave to die. Thats how I felt at the time, but at some point life comes knocking on your cave door and at last you’re ready to give it another try. Believe me, HE will be the one missing YOU! Hang in there pretty lady, your “Prince Charming” is out there looking for his “Queen” and he WILL find you! Love ya!!

    February 10, 2013 at 12:50 pm

    • Yeah… I finally did it, Helen. Little weakling me is starting over, again. It’s hard to believe that I found the strength to do it, and I’m exhausted. But, I did it. Now to keep the strength flowing. And, you’re damn right, he’ll be sorry. No way around that one.

      Thanks for your ever-kind and inspiring words. Love you much. xo

      February 11, 2013 at 7:41 am

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