Flip flops
It’s gonna be that ‘great kind of weekend’. Got a room reserved waiting for us at the beach, just need to get down there. Only flip flops shall adorn these feet this weekend, as I’m not taking any other kind of shoes. Well, maybe I will take some tennies – but as a last of the season rebellion I’ll strive hard not to wear them.
Hope everyone has a beautiful and blessed weekend…
Gentle Breeze
I’ve been slammed at work the past couple of days which I know is a good thing – although it’s not so much my normal production work, it’s those challenges that come around every so often that make my head hurt. I know, all the better to keep the old brain sharpened. The icing on the cake just came when our payables person just told us our pay will be deposited a day late, for reason of the Veteran’s Day holiday. Amazing. Some people do actually still live paycheck to paycheck, and what a difference one damn day can make in such a case.
We’re going to try to get to the coast this weekend. It’s still in the dream stages right now as no lodging has been reserved, but a big dream nonetheless. To feel the ocean breeze in my face… well it just sounds heavenly.
Here’s to Wednesdays, and the fact that it’s 5 o’clock somewhere.
Photo Courtesy http://www.tripadvisor.com
Current Cravings
It seems to be my “I want” day, so please forgive beforehand. We all need one every now and then.
- I crave the sight and sound of ocean waves.
- I crave the mountains, and valleys.
- I crave love. I really really crave massive amounts of love.
- I crave Spring. Already.
- I crave a whole lot of honesty.
- I crave a world where you hand a cashier currency and she doesn’t have to mark the bill to make sure it’s real.
- I crave knowledge… particularly of what the future holds.
- I crave the scent of coconut and vanilla arising from a warm tropical setting.
- I crave for there to be no more hunger for anyone in the world ever again.
- I crave a pay raise.
- I crave some doggie lovin’.
- I crave wearing high heels again. Minus the pain.
- I crave sunlight on my face.
- I crave a long uninterrupted night of sleep.
- I crave music.
- I crave financial comfortability. Not riches, just maybe to be able to loosen the old chest muscles a bit.
- I crave spirituality.
- I crave lunch.
- I crave being on the water.
- I crave writing.
- I crave being in a relationship that never ends.
Come to think of it, maybe I should’ve done a bucket list instead.
Surroundings
She loves it so
her natural habitat, the current and waves
a bond that could never be broken
Clear turquoise water
flows through her gills
tepid and calm, and she’s free
Yet thoroughly enveloped.
This beautiful realm, her armor
no worries, no pain; no sorrows, no strife
dangers prevalent, instincts trusted
Abundant sustenance, no rich, no poor
no lies, no deception
beauty thrives in every direction
and time is never defined.
The fish is me. The current, Keith.
~BM, 2010
Above art © J. Vincent Scarpace ~ http://www.ipaintfish.com
One Whole Day
In keeping with traditional Piscean fashion, I seem to always have a few to several pre-fabbed little fantasies floating around in my head. One ‘fantasy fave’ proposes the question – If you were awarded 24 hours to spend with a famous person of your choice, who would it be and why?
I’m not one of those Hollywood star-chasers, nor is my life is so drab that I must live vicariously through them. That said, from time to time I do find certain news and current events of the ‘famous half’ to be of interest. I’m sure I’m not the only one – if I was, there wouldn’t be shows like Inside Edition or Entertainment Tonight.
Which leads back to my original question – given the opportunity to spend an entire day with someone famous, who would you choose? I’m thinking in terms of actor/actresses, singer/songwriters, television personalities, etc. Once in a while I’ll broach the subject to friends, who generally look at me with raised eyebrows – especially when they learn that I’ve already got a running list in my head. (Which has me wondering… is my life so drab that I’m contemplating what it would be like to spend a whole day with a star??)
For what it’s worth, here’s my short list… and the reasons why.
1. Mike Rutzen (Skipper, Oceanic Enthusiast, Free-Diver). Do I need to state the obvious on this one? An entire day of scuba and cage-diving with great whites in the favorably populated waters off the coast of South Africa, with one of the most respected experts in the industry. Just WOW.
2. Ellen DeGeneres (Television Personality). And what a personality. Again, don’t believe I even need a reason for why I’d like to spend a day with her. But if I do, here goes… laughs, laughs, and more laughs…
3. Toby Keith (Country Singer). I’d get him to take me fishing, and I bet I could persuade him to drag his guitar along for a few songs! He’s big and strong – so I’m thinking any bears we encounter would run the opposite way. I like his style, and I also get the impression that he’s a lot of fun.
4. Tyler Perry (Actor, Producer, Screenwriter, Author). What a mega-talented man. Tyler was on Oprah recently and shared his heartbreaking childhood story, which brought him and the entire audience to tears. He persevered from the ground-floor up and is very humbly self-made. Add to that the fact that he’s hilarious.
5. Derek Jeter (MLB Player, Shortstop for NYY). Okay, I had to throw a little eye candy in there. My favorite Yankees player would be ready for a weeks vacation after a full day of me dragging him around to show him off. Additionally, he looks (oops there’s that word again) to have an excellent sense of humor.
6. Ozzy Osbourne (Singer, Songwriter, Father of Darkness) Okay, for hilarity’s sake, humor me here with my childhood idol. True, his speech might be a bit slower and jumbled now from the um, well you know – but the guy’s a barrel of laughs. You just can’t make this stuff up. However, if this wish were ever granted I’d need to drag my daughter along with me. After all, Ozzy was her first concert at three years old. Come to think of it, I’d have to drag her along on my day with #5 as well.
7. Stephen King (Author). Alas, I must look overlook the fact that he’s a Sox fan… for the man taught me the love of reading. No, I am not dark – he is simply talented. I’ve read many others, but his book ‘On Writing’ is a true love of mine… in my opinion, a writer’s must-have. He’s another self-made success of which I so admire and appreciate.
8. Carlos Mencia (Comedian). He would probably take one look at me and say, “hhhNo wayyy, bishhhh”. Oh how I DO love a really good comedian. I was fortunate enough to catch him live in ’08, no holds barred. Seriously, nothing was off limits. Know the thing I love most about him? His lack of discrimination – if you’re in his presence, you’re fair game.
I’m gonna leave some room to grow on for nine and ten.
Did I mention I love to laugh? ALOT?
A Letter to my 16 year-old Self:
Some time ago, I entertained the notion of writing a letter to one’s 16 year-old self. After posting the idea, it felt overwhelming to me. Every time I’d try to start it, I’d freeze up at the very beginning. A few months went by, and it bothered me that I’d abandoned my proposed ‘project’. It’s not supposed to be a toil, I thought – there’s no right or wrong way of doing it. Some write this letter as a suggestion to change or reroute certain life events – I choose not to do this, but instead to write it as a softened forecast of sorts. As raw as it may be, here it is.
Dear Bonnie,
I know you aren’t really concerned with anything but partying and having a good time right now. I’m going to ask, if I may, for just ten minutes of your undivided attention without you creating an argument as to why.
Your decision to hang with the ‘cool crowd’ will end up being your demise in school. You’ve traded in your good grades and standards of behavior for a poor attempt at coolness. I see how much you’ve changed from age fifteen to sixteen – so much so that it makes your own head spin to think about it. You hate thinking about it as well – so you reach for those funny cigarettes and a bit of alcohol here and there in order to push the ugly truth further from your head. What you don’t realize, my dear, is that these seemingly simple substances will evolve into a larger abuse more destructive than you’re able to maintain control of. Your downward spiral has only just begun.
Just around the corner, self-destruction awaits you. Over the next few years you’ll continue to feed this destruction, justifying it as ‘having a good time’. There are people in your life who struggle to make you realize what you’re doing to yourself. Your mother, your father, your ever-wise grandmother. Why won’t you ever give them a chance, just open up your mind for once and listen? Newsflash – they really do know what they’re talking about. Years later, your eyes will well up as you wish for this time to be rolled backwards in order to make different choices. Better choices. Trust me on this – though right now, I know you won’t. In later years, you’ll be happy to know that you were one of the ‘lucky ones’ instead of another statistic. I want you to realize how very fortunate you will be to not become a statistic.
Getting pregnant at nineteen years old will not be the end of your world, although you and a few others think so at the time. You will have a little girl who will, in fact, end up being the shining sun of your universe. Do take a little more time and make the memories count… this will be the only child in life that God will entrust in your care. Slow down, savor every minute, every second. Laugh more… a LOT more. Know that your daughter will be successful in life, and will make you and her father extremely proud.
Your daughter’s father. The man you’ve known for a year prior will become your husband just a mere week after you find out you are with child. True, your childhood fairytale dream of getting married and having babies will happen quite backwards. Just like the absence of a real wedding or even a real proposal – you will find many things around this era to be very different than what you dreamed of as a young girl. Do know that you and your husband will have a very loving life together and create many wonderful memories as a family – as well as share hardships. Always remember that life is a constant change of events. In just a few short years, you will actually go to college to learn a new trade in graphic arts, and your employer will fund this tuition. So hold tight and make do with those hardships – it’ll all be worth it.
Oh, if only I could forewarn and perhaps prepare you for the largest and most difficult event in your life so far. Many years down the road, you will find yourself starting completely over from scratch. You will need to learn to live alone, to survive alone, and support yourself – for the very first time in your adult life. You will learn what heartache and heartbreak really is. You must learn this all yourself, as no amount of prep work or advice will guide you through it. If there is one thing I may ask of you for the future, it would be this… remember your own self-worth. Don’t consider your own happiness an extravagance. It’s not.
Your future lies completely in your hands, and in the decisions you make. Learn quickly that your decisions really do impact your future, of who you ultimately become. And guess what? We’re not finished growing yet.
Honorable mention
I had a meaningful conversation with a coworker this morning. This guy is good as gold – case in point, he initially came in offering a bunch of cans of Progresso soup that he’d gotten in a terrific sale for a buck each. I’m thinking he must’ve bought the entire store out yesterday. I jokingly told him that with the fifty dollars worth he brought in this morning alone, his trunk must’ve been dragging the asphalt! After work today, he’s going back to buy more, and he’s planning to stock it here for other’s lunches that might be without.
While in the kitchen fixing up the morning caffeine, he talked about his kids and how they were doing in school, and how hard math was for his son. He asked if my daughter was my only one and I told him yes. He asked if it was hard for me and my husband while she was in school, when she started dating, etc., to which I replied extremely – but that I had tremendous respect for others like his self who had two and three kids in school simultaneously. Looking back on that time in life, I guess we had it pretty easy.
He asked me how long I’d been married and that it must have been hard for it to end. I agreed and said it was the absolute hardest thing EVER. That it’s easy for someone to say they understand – but it’s a pain that can only be understood by someone who has been through it their own self. That I used to be that person on the other side, saying I understood. That I’m ashamed of the fact I used to think ‘gosh, why don’t they snap out of it already?’. That because you left doesn’t always mean you wanted it to end. That it can take literally years of work to get through it. That if you were truly emotionally invested in a long-term marriage, then working through the ending of it probably will take years.
After hearing all this, he was probably sorry he’d even asked. But he always has been a good listener. 🙂
In the years we’ve all known him here, it’s always been obvious how much this guy loves his family – his wife and kids are his world. When he speaks of his wife, he does so with a gleam in his eye. The level of appreciation and respect they have together is very apparent. As we started back to work, I told him to never lose that love and respect – to hold on to it… cherish it. To which he replied with a smile, ‘I tell my wife I love her ten times a day, or more. I won’t lose it.’ Hearing that put a smile on my face the whole walk back to my desk.
You know what the Mexicans say about the Pacific…
They say it has no memory. That’s where I want to live the rest of my life. A warm place with no memory.
Everyone has ‘one of those days’ every now and then, mine just happened to start last night. Whenever I have one of those days, my mind immediately drifts over to the quote department – whether that’s a conscious act or not, I have no idea. One in particular came up at work yesterday. A dear friend reminded me of a quote from a favorite movie, certainly one that will always remain on my top three list – Shawshank Redemption. And ole’ Andy Dufresne…
“Get busy living… or get busy dying.”
As many times as I’ve watched this movie, it never gets old to me. Just like The Green Mile and Forrest Gump, I have so many parts of it memorized. I’d buried this precious quote deep in my mind, perhaps only to resurrect it at a much-needed time. This movie is a wonderful lesson on reaching your full potential by overcoming life’s obstacles. Keep your eyes on the prize, and never ever give up hope on pursuing your goal.
Choices
In this game of life, there are some things which we have control over, and some we don’t. We can choose to be kind and compassionate to people, or we can be nasty and vile. We can choose to help our neighbors, or we can hinder or block the good deeds of others. We can choose to ‘do the right thing’ – or we can attempt to break those around us.
So how do you handle a miserable existence of an individual who is so delusionally obsessed over your life and that of your loved one, that it’s become their sole objective to infiltrate it in any way possible? An individual who recruits their own family members and friends to aid in their own juvenile schemes? An individual who is greatly influencing their child with their deception and lack of moral character? I believe that this lone corrupt individual must be left to bask in their own self-destruction. I choose to neither feed nor lend energy to this hateful, dark, putrid excuse for a human being.
Because some things never change.
So I’ll tell you how I handle it. I choose happiness. My drama cup shall remain empty. I’ve made it this far, and believe me when I say I ain’t going back. I choose that bright light that our Lord promises and provides, free of charge – for any of us who are willing to receive it.
Daisy Chain
The following is actually from a little over a year ago, before my blogging days. I did not write the words, but over a fair amount of time did do the compilation – written from a variety of beloved sources and wise souls. I remember at the time, I was in a sense lost – feeling alone and blissfully unaware of my own purpose in life. My arrival at this point came from a failed 21-year marriage and the quest to ‘find myself’. I was comforted by the wise words, and found myself ever-searching of them.
Running across it brought back memories of being truly alone. Of the endless search for wisdom – of knowledge of who was fake and who was authentic; and the hopeful ability to discern the difference. I’m not changing any of the content, nor the order… and I do realize it’s scattered. But at the time, so was I.
______________________________________________________________________________
My best dreams and worst nightmares have the same people in them.
What is more the benefit? To love a person that is already loved by everyone, or to love a person that is rejected by everyone?
Hugging is healthy. It helps the immune system, cures depression, reduces stress, and induces sleep. It’s invigorating, rejuvenating & has no unpleasant side effects. It’s nothing less than a miracle drug. Hugging is all natural. It’s organic, naturally sweet, has no artificial ingredients, environmentally friendly & is 100% wholesome. Hugging is the ideal gift. Great for any occasion, fun to give & receive, shows you care, comes with its own wrapping paper and, of course, is fully returnable.
I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.
We wait all these years to find someone who understands us… someone who accepts us as we are… someone with a wizard’s power to melt stone to sunlight… that can bring us happiness in spite of trials… that can face our dragons in the night… who can transform us into the soul we choose to be. Just yesterday I found that magical someone is the face we see in the mirror: It’s us and our homemade masks.
Happiness needs sadness. Success needs failure. Benevolence needs evil. Love needs hatred. Victory needs defeat. Pleasure needs pain.
You must experience and accept the extremes. Because if the contrast is lost, you lose appreciation; and when you lose appreciation, you lose the value of everything.
Of the Seven Deadly Sins, anger is possibly the most fun. To lick your wounds, to smack your lips over grievances long past, to roll over your tongue the prospect of bitter confrontations still to come, to savor to the last toothsome morsel of both the pain you are given and the pain you are giving back – in many ways it is a feast fit for a king. The chief drawback is that what you are wolfing down is yourself. The skeleton at the feast is you.
Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
Forgiveness does not overlook the deed. It rises above it.
It always amazes me to see people making a decision to never forgive. It’s like trying to punish their tormentors by harming themselves. In the long run, it’s not a question of whether they deserve to be forgiven. You’re not forgiving them for their sake. You’re doing it for yourself. For your own health and well being, forgiveness is simply the most energy-efficient option. It frees you from the incredibly toxic, debilitating drain of holding a grudge. Don’t let these people live rent free in your head. If they hurt you before, why let them keep doing it year after year in your mind? It’s not worth it but it takes heart effort to stop it. You can muster that heart power to forgive them as a way of looking out for yourself. It’s one thing you can be totally selfish about.
I’ve always heard to live everyday as if it was your last. I disagree. I think you should live everyday as if it was your first, where everything is new and exciting. You try new things, and you’re not waiting for your life to end – you’re waiting for it to begin.
Your friends are your release. They’re who you have the most fun with, and yet when the going gets tough, those people turn around and suddenly they’re not just making you laugh, they’re being this rock and giving you all their advice. Even though you’re so much your own person, if you dissect yourself, I guarantee you, your friends are in there. Their influence is incredible. However rare true love may be, it is less so than true friendship.
You’ll never know how much you needed your friends until you look back along the rope and realize how many knots they tied to keep you from Falling. I don’t want someone to catch me when I fall; I want someone to stop me before I do.
Someday someone might come into your life and love you the way you’ve always wanted. If your someday was yesterday, learn. If your someday is tomorrow, hope. If your someday is today, cherish.
Walking away isn’t the hard part – it’s not looking back.
Tears are words the heart can’t say.
I tried to conquer the Universe, but it defeated me.
I tried to capture the Universe, but it eluded me.
I tried to understand the Universe, but it outwitted me.
So, clumsily, hesitantly, I tried to love the Universe,
And it embraced me.
Does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the state of Washington? And, they tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.
Sooner or later you have to make a choice…leave behind your passion, your dreams – or have the strength to look past all discouraging faces and look at yourself and know that you have what it takes… and you will prove them wrong.
To love requires courage, the ability to take a risk, the readiness even to accept pain and disappointment. Whoever insists on safety and security as primary conditions of life cannot love; whoever shuts himself off in a system of defense and possession as his means of security, makes himself a prisoner.
Never assume greatness is for someone else. Imagine every day that you too can do great things. Have the courage to take the challenge, make the mistakes, and move forward. Who knows, maybe one day someone will be sharing your moment with you.
The Truth
I just noticed my daughter’s latest facebook status update. It reads, “When at night you cannot sleep, talk to the Shepherd and stop counting sheep.” Truth.
My boyfriend made me a bracelet this weekend. I watched closely as he carefully color-coordinated bead by bead on a strong leather strand. As he tied it on my arm I told him, “This is my love bracelet.” Truth.
Now I’m gonna dive deep. What is a simple definition of Truth, really… a verified fact? Conformity to reality or actuality? Sincerity… integrity? A fact, a proof?
Most of us have known one or more persons in our life that have issues with honesty, or have problems telling the truth. The ones that really get me, though, are those who are blatantly caught at something and can still look you right in the eye and lie about it – even when facts are presented.
For some reason, it always brings to mind one of my all-time favorite comedic skits. A woman confronts her man over questions of infidelity, and the man vehemently denies any wrong-doing even though he’s caught red-handed. Click here for a look… this is hilarious in a raw kinda way.
Hey…. wadn’t me….
If only everyone just knew how much the truth really means, of all it’s able to accomplish for us. That when used, it can overcome so many negative feelings or emotions. Being honest makes people trust you, respect you. It brings about a heightened sense of security in a relationship, and strengthens each of you in many different ways. When you tell a loved one the truth, it’s actually saying ‘you are precious to me and worthy of complete knowledge’.
The way I see it, the general consensus wins. Once a liar, always a liar. In my forty-two years, I’ve personally never witnessed a huge changeover in a person who has issues with being honest. That’s unfortunate, not only for them but for the persons involved with them.
The Truth. Will. Set. You. Free. Seriously? Well, yeah – I believe it will. Put it this way… I’d rather hear the truth any old day than some sugar-coat of a fakeness. It may not always be something I want to hear…. but I want to hear it nonetheless. Now I know I can’t change the world, I quit trying a long time ago. It does make for a nice dream though…
Thoughts on a letter to one’s self
I was perusing around in freshly pressed and found a post that was mega-intriguing. This blogger submitted an excellent post (and a few of her other friends have followed suit) titled ‘A Letter to my 16-year-old Self’. She calls the idea simul-blogging, in which the topic is laid on the table, and those interested will semi-simultaneously post on that same topic. Now, as nostalgic as the old Bonster is, you can rest assured that I’m not gonna be able to leave this little diddy just sitting there. With that said, my next dilemma lies in whether or not I can bridge such a large age gap from the present all the way back to sixteen. After all, these ladies only have to go back 10 years or so with their letter – whereas if I go back in time to age sixteen it’ll be more like (oh crap where’s my calculator) I’d likely need a time-machine. In all seriousness though, I’d be going back twenty-six years.
Actually… I think that’s doable. In fact, maybe it’ll put a little different spin on things since there’s so much post-sixteen to write about. Hmmm. The more I think about it – I like it, and the fact that I have a few years under my belt that I may now use as ‘material’. Yeah.
Buckle your seatbelts, boys and girls – this could be a bumpy ride.
Check out Katie’s post above – it’s a fabulous one and very deserving of freshly pressed status. Any of you out there interested in giving this a whirl?
Searching
I’m still at a loss for words – for this I am sorry.
My nieces take my breath away with their beauty… both of them.
I see my own daughter, her father and family completely torn to pieces.
As am I.
My thoughts go every which way but loose. What set of problems could penetrate the mind so,
that this would become the only answer.
It has all become a mind game to me – of whether this really happened… or not.
There are far too many people depending on your strength for their own selves.
You are way too young to exit.
All the people who turned out tonight love you so… and the tears of tough men abound.
I wish you and I had talked before you left. I so wish for that.
A little bird sits on the window sill, watching me type… and still I think of you. I do believe you must be happy beyond words right now.
And at peace. Finally, at peace.
The Picture
After a hearty Cracker Barrel breakfast on Sunday morning, K suggested driving down to the newest indoor fleamarket to walk some of the food off, to which I happily obliged.
There was no agenda, nor any certain thing we were looking for. The few times we’ve been to the place (ah, air-conditioning is a must) we’ve come away empty-handed – but it’s all good. K loves antiques, and is quite educated about them. Honestly, for me, it’s the walking around together and ‘discovering things’ with each other that matters so – it seems to go unsaid that he feels the same way. So we walk, hold hands and talk, and look… and happen upon it…
The print is entitled, Making Friends. The artist is Burton Dye, and the debut date was 1986. Same graduation year, and same high school… yes, yet more nostalgia.
K just finished remodeling his own bedroom, and in doing so moved into a larger room in his house. The color of paint he chose was a light to medium sort of periwinkle blue – it hints of blue, gray and lavender, and translates to airy and soothing. In combination with his dark furniture and just the right amount of beautiful sunlight the room gets, it was an exquisite choice.
Making Friends ~ ©Burton Dye 1986
Flashback to the picture. There it sat, amongst it’s competition, all of which were neatly lined along the floor of the vendor. Just like magnets, both of us were instantly drawn to this one. Print no. 1241 of 1900, it said – and it was very much in mint condition. Still in it’s original frame and matte, the wood frame has two tiny periwinkle blue pinstripes down all four sides that matches the matte – these were only visible up close.
The print is an image of a small boy with blonde hair, sitting along the shore of a riverbank to feed a flock of geese and goslings. The boy’s portrayal in the print is nothing less than that of pure innocence. I have yet to share my own perception of the art with K.
Shown is a young, innocent boy – soon to be in search of the finer things in life, which Capricorns are so noted for – but also appreciating the simple things. His love for animals is well-noted… as well as his love for the water – and fishing. The boy’s youth still leaves much to the imagination, such a large future lies ahead of him. With the comparable difference being light brown instead of blonde hair, I think the profile of this young lad so very closely coincides with that of K’s own childhood pictures. I think it’s fair to say this print has captured a piece of my heart for many years to come now…
August first
Well, it’s now August. I can’t believe how fast this summer has gone by. This summer, and well, the whole year for that matter.
August 1st is a special day for me. It’s the one-year anniversary of mine and K’s first date. I can’t believe it’s been a year already…
We love reminiscing about how nervous we both were on that Saturday night a year ago. Being that we hadn’t seen each other in so many years, I opted to walk down and meet him in my parking lot instead of the added stress for both of us with him coming up to the condo. The walk down all the steps from the third floor seemed to take forever, and I was hoping to God I wouldn’t trip and fall down them in my heels. There, leaning back against the hood of his car in true 60’s Greaser fashion, was the most beautiful man I’d ever seen – grinning like the Cheshire Cat on Alice in Wonderland. As I went up to hug him, my heart was about to beat out of my chest and I hoped he couldn’t see it. On that first date we ended up going to a place right across the river to eat, then catching the latest Harry Potter movie. Guess you could say we’ve been kinda stuck like glue together ever since, and well, I wouldn’t want it any other way. 
I’ve got more up the ole’ dayplanner sleeve that I’ve nostalgically saved, but posting some of those monumental moments on here just wouldn’t be fitting. But hey, don’t I get a pat on the back for not kissing him on the first date? Or is that more deserving of a slap? **dumbass**
It should go without saying that having a high level of mutual respect for each other is a must-have in every successful relationship. Just a couple of weeks ago, K’s ex made a grave attempt to worm her way back into his life – even being so desperate as to use their daughter as bait. The transparency of the lies she told were obvious to everyone. Of course, there was also a hidden agenda behind the facade. You see, she’s faced with much certainty of losing her case in court, and trust me when I say it’s gonna be sweet retribution for a man who was put through absolute hell for so many years. But not to worry – I didn’t just take his word for it. A woman with even half a brain will do her research on a prospective partner. I’m friends with a couple of people who actually know this woman… and she is indeed lower than a snake.
Last night he and I went out and did a little pre-celebrating. The restaurant we ate at last year has since closed down, and word has it that the local pub and grill across the street has the same owners, just took on a different name. He suggested going there for nostalgia’s sake, so we did. The food and drinks were excellent but the service really sucked! Upon learning that we were ‘only’ ordering appetizers and drinks (which still resulted in over a $30 bill) the waitress apparently decided we were deserving of neither good service nor a good attitude. As with most things though, we joked and took this in stride, and moved on across the street to the much more upscale restaurant that my own daughter works at. Of course, we got excellent service there – along with the additional bonus of us all getting to spend some quality time together and cut up for a while. 🙂 She was right… we shoulda just went there in the first place.
Green eggs and ham, hurricane Bonnie I am
It’s basically what I feel like this morning, green and salty. I could think of no better title. I know my last few posts have ventured over to the darker side, and I need to brighten it up. There’s no better way to begin that brighter note than to say it is a Friday!
I’m not gonna have the chance to write about this again for a long time, as it’s already been twelve years since the last one. I doubt I’ll reach hurricane status this time, but we’ll see.
Photo courtesy ABC news
The last hurricane Bonnie was in 1998. Ironically enough, she made landfall on August 27th, my eleventh wedding anniversary. 1998 was to be an iconic year for me, just as 2008 was. Something about that number 8 has always come into play for me. In 1988, my beautiful daughter was born. In 1998, my dear stepfather left this earth to go to heaven. And in 2008, I walked away from a twenty-one year marriage. I have more fascinating stories… but that’s a whole other blog. 🙂
I don’t know where you guys are – but it’s supposed to reach 100 degrees here for at least the next three days. Guess this begins the old ‘dog days of summer’. Hope everyone has a fantastic weekend… and stay cool out there!!
Gripes©
No one likes a person that constantly complains. I like to refer to them as ‘downers’, because let’s face it – unless it’s done in humorous fashion, it does bring you down. Sometimes though, you just need to get things off your chest. Things you might normally let slide or roll off your back on a daily basis can mount up and come out in a very bad way if you don’t unload every once in a while.
So, gentle readers, be forewarned that today will be my bitch day. Hey… I’ve done a ‘things I love’ blog before. It’s only fitting that I have a ‘things I hate’ one…
- I hate running across people I call ‘provers’. These people basically need to have whatever you tell them proven right then in order to believe you.
- I hate when I say something about a restaurant that I went to the night before, and a downer is listening and informs me that they don’t have any food in their cabinets.
- I hate when I pay extra for a Marie Callendar’s frozen entree for lunch, and the contents ends up being smaller than that of a Lean Cuisine or Healthy Choice.
- I hate the fact that apparently I’m the only person at work that has the expertise of changing a toilet paper roll. I’ve tested this theory several different ways on many occasions.
- I hate when a stranger 20+ years your elder brazenly uses their age as an excuse to advance ahead of you – and I’m not just talking about lines.
- I hate when a guy believes certain chores are not made for them to do.
- I hate when a guy postpones vacationing, even a simple 2-day beach trip – then suggests tagging along with his mother for the weekend on her trip.
- (Red flag)
- I hate when a guy suggests hopping on your cellphone plan, and you blog about how much that bothered you – then the next night he tells you he’s hopping on his mother’s plan.
- (Dark red flag)
- I hate when normal grooming habits are forgotten or ignored. Everyone I mean everyone knows how I feel about this. Enough said.
- I hate when an otherwise enjoyable trip to a local Japanese steakhouse is thwarted by patrons who believe your space should include their conversations and children.
- I hate when my financial situation is prejudged by another, as in “you should be doing okay now that your car is paid off”.
- I hate when people have trouble addressing a problem and end up just letting it go without confronting and/or attempting to fix it.
- This list will most definitely be continued at a later date. Until then… thank you, dear readers, for the unload.
A Voice
I have a good friend that’s decided to bite the bullet and start blogging. Not only is she an extremely smart and beautiful lady, but well-versed. I’m willing to bet she will enjoy it – and I look forward to reading. I’ll be sure to cue you in on the page when she gets it up and running.
Many of us have been subjected to broken trust and loyalty throughout our lives – some more than others. The last thing you need is to keep it all to yourself… what you need is to be heard. An outlet, a source which you may unload on every once in a while. A while back I suggested that a blog might be the very venue my friend needed. It provides an opportunity to be heard, a chance to voice anything and/or everything you’ve wanted to say for a long time now. She asked me ‘do you think the word bitch in my title would be offensive and draw negative feedback?’ To which I replied chuckling, ‘ya know, there’s always going to be something that offends someone out there.’ And that’s true, no matter what.
It got me to thinking about life in general, and how it is we’ve arrived at the point of being a functioning adult human being… exactly what it is that has made up the mindset, emotions and character of who we are now. Do I believe that we continually change throughout life? Yes. Do I believe that what we’ve been through in the past actually shapes the person we are today, as well as the person we are to become? Absolutely. We will not be the exact same person a year from now as we are today. These changes will be determined by the events and occurrences within our lives, and how we choose to react or deal with them. Like my grandmother always told me… ‘bunny-rabbit…it ain’t always easy’.
BREATHE
I recently received an email entitled “Courage”. It got me to thinking. What exactly is courage? Furthermore, what about the courage to love?
Fairy tales? No such thing. Forever afters? Hac-tuiii. Pardonne moi….
I have to laugh to keep from crying, more. For the past couple of days my face has resembled something monstrous and I’m growing weary of it. Quite simply, my heart is breaking. Right now I just feel like retreating inside my cave for, well forever.
The Courage to Love. I’ve always been a firm believer of the old saying ‘If you love something, set it free – if it comes back to you, it’s yours. If it doesn’t, it never was.’ Well… up to a point, anyway. One should never go so far as to allow their selves to become a doormat for anyone else.
I guess I’m old fashioned, I’ll admit that. I am southern, after all. I’ve never been one of these feminists who mandate equality of the sexes, and never will. It’s my belief that women shouldn’t ‘chase’ men – it should be the other way around. I also believe that if a man loves a woman enough… I mean really loves them… they won’t let her go without a fight. They’ll do anything and everything to keep her – anything less than that simply isn’t real. Call it what you will – it’s an illusion. Don’t fool yourself. Life’s too short.
Hey, self – remember this: I Myself, will NOT… break. Already been through Hell and back once – and I ain’t planning a return trip anytime soon.
My Brightness
Whoever first told me life gets harder as you get older sure knew what they were talking about. I believe it was my mother. We live in an age of a failing world (okay I know that sounds drastically morbid – but it is, let’s face it). We’ve done so much damage to the environment that it’s irreparable, with the continuance of damage ongoing still – today, tomorrow, next week, next year. The economy sucks, and people are struggling financially. The entire world is crime-ridden and it seems even more so in the US. Too many people have lost their religion, that is if they ever had it to begin with.
For these reasons it makes me that much more appreciative of the soul that has come into my life. My brightness. The person who actually makes me better. Brighter.
It all started last July 29th when we started messaging each other (I still have every email correspondence we’ve ever sent). Our first date was August 1st. Man, were we ever both nervous. I’ll never forget coming down those stairs and seeing him leaning back against the hood of his car… lookin’ so cool. 🙂 It’s one of those memories that I hope never fades with age.
No one is perfect – but I’m so beyond perfect that it’s hilarious. I have so many little quirks and eccentricities that need tweaking. I get agitated and worked up easily. He keeps me grounded. I frequently find myself trying to accomplish too much and freaking out when my goals aren’t met. He is teaching me to take life slower. We both have trust issues when it comes to relationships, and have since learned that it’s okay to let our guards down with each other. That in itself was a feat that took some time – time that we look back on and smile at now.
Yep, we’re getting older all right. But that’s not always a bad thing. After all, if we’re lucky enough, we might can capture a little wisdom from it. The kind of wisdom that allows us to be appreciative of the best things in life – that which is right in front of us.
Hats off to second chances….
Life of Bon 
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