If I have to say it out loud, it’s going to change us. It’s something that’s been in open sight for a long time now. I’ve written, hinted, and black & white printed. How much this actually means to me is well-known… though still it goes ignored and unacknowledged.
Silence is not always golden.
If I have to say it out loud, it will become clear that my aspirations are one-sided. Because saying it out loud will abolish any real chance in experiencing the joy of that profound moment – the moment when I realize that I am wanted. Really wanted.
If I have to say it out loud, it could indeed serve to confirm my deepest and darkest fears. Fears such as I’m not the one, I’m not good enough, I’m not worth the risk – perhaps even that I’m not deserving of the life I’ve yearned for so long.
If I have to say it out loud, know that will forever change our dynamics. Once it’s done, it’s done. After it’s said, we can never go back to our old life as we knew it to be before…
I had to say it out loud.
~Life of Bon, 2012
This morning I was reminded of a beloved poem by my friend Shawn over at Happy Publishing. I always like where this particular piece takes me – back to the root of it all, which I so need reminded of from time to time.
“I am going to send you down to earth,”
Said God to me one day,
“I’m giving you what men call ‘birth’–
Tonight you’ll start away;
I want you there to live with men;
Until I call you back again.”
I trembled as I heard him speak,
Yet I know that I must go;
I felt His hand upon my cheek,
And wished that I might know –
Just what on earth would be my task,
And timidly I dared to ask.
“Tell me before I start away,
What thou would have me do;
What message would you have me say?
When shall my work be through?
That I may serve on earth,
Tell me the purpose of my birth.”
God smiled at me and softly said:
“Oh, you shall find your task.
I want you on life’s path to tread,
So do not stay to ask.
Remember, if your best you do,
That I shall ask no more of you.”
How often, as my work I do,
So commonplace and grim,
I sit and sigh and wish I knew
If I am pleasing Him.
I wonder if, with every test,
I’ve truly tried to do my best.
~Edgar A. Guest
I open my eyes
unspoken dreams, unbridled pain
Where do I begin again
if it’s not here.
Embracing the newness
of honesty and truth
Wondering when exactly
this lifetime shifted.
Can I reach any further
is it possible
Or have I gone beyond
my intended destination?
Comes full circle, it seems
though lost in translation
a vagabond who searches
I’ve written about second chances more than one time, so you’re likely already aware of my deep appreciation of them. The dear fella by the name of Shawn B. over at Happy Publishing frequently brightens the days of many with his website dedicated to inspirational quotations and poems. The one posted yesterday captured my attention, and heart.
The following was posted January 17, 2001 on www.happypublishing.com. Feel free to check the site out if you get a chance…
The Second Chance
We may not have the means at hand
To change a circumstance.
But we may gain, to our relief,
A welcome second chance–
A chance to prove that we will try,
With all our might and main,
To change our ways, to right some wrong,
And pull our weight again.
So let us thank the generous folk
Who overlook our lapse,
And put their trust in our success,
Where once we failed, perhaps.
The second chance can bright results
The first one to outweigh,
For in the meantime we have learned
A little more each day.
She loves it so
her natural habitat, the current and waves
a bond that could never be broken
Clear turquoise water
flows through her gills
tepid and calm, and she’s free
Yet thoroughly enveloped.
This beautiful realm, her armor
no worries, no pain; no sorrows, no strife
dangers prevalent, instincts trusted
Abundant sustenance, no rich, no poor
no lies, no deception
beauty thrives in every direction
and time is never defined.
The fish is me. The current, Keith.
A series of stages
The world continues turning
I continue learning
Sight unseen, vision clear
Gaze broken, stiffness prevails
I see it, the unknown
What is it
Pain, regret… anger, blame…
Confrontation, a revelation
Any compassion left
Is an arm’s length away
It’s all tucked away.