To each his own. To me my own.

The Sound of Silence

If I have to say it out loud, it’s going to change us. It’s something that’s been in open sight for a long time now. I’ve written, hinted, and black & white printed. How much this actually means to me is well-known… though still it goes ignored and unacknowledged.

Silence is not always golden.

If I have to say it out loud, it will become clear that my aspirations are one-sided. Because saying it out loud will abolish any real chance in experiencing the joy of that profound moment – the moment when I realize that I am wanted. Really wanted.


If I have to say it out loud, it could indeed serve to confirm my deepest and darkest fears. Fears such as I’m not the one, I’m not good enough, I’m not worth the risk – perhaps even that I’m not deserving of the life I’ve yearned for so long.


If I have to say it out loud, know that will forever change our dynamics. Once it’s done, it’s done. After it’s said, we can never go back to our old life as we knew it to be before…

I had to say it out loud.

~Life of Bon, 2012



11 responses

  1. You are wonderful just as you are- just sayin’.

    March 23, 2012 at 10:59 am

    • That’s ever so kind of you to say, thank you Mountain Mae!! 🙂

      March 24, 2012 at 11:23 am

  2. Nice music. It’s fresh to me. 🙂

    March 23, 2012 at 11:35 am

    • Thanks, Cocomino. It’s always been one of my favorite songs, I used to sing it when I was a small child. 🙂

      March 24, 2012 at 11:24 am

  3. There have been many times where I resented deeply having to “say it loud” when, to me, it was so obvious. The resentment came from my perception that if I have to say the obvious means the other (person who supposedly loves me) is either a) not looking or b) doesn’t love me as if I am important.

    But also I resented having to say it out loud because putting it out there made me so much more vulnerable. To put something out there without being confident of an appropriate /needed response is just too risky and it just seems wiser to “suffer in silence”.

    It is a slow process of learning that there are people and people-types with whom I need to be quite discerning; and then there’s those few with whom anxiety from being real and being open is not part of the equation. At the right time using multiple and varied methods of communication, it only serves to deepen the relationship and nurtures commitment.

    March 24, 2012 at 9:10 am

    • I love your input, Debbie. It really helps to read other’s views on the subject. You hit the nail on the head in your last paragraph – communication has to be there. To me, lack of communication on key subjects can be just as bad as arguing 24/7.

      March 24, 2012 at 11:29 am

  4. Say what you need to say … Sometimes, it’s just the right thing to do especially after letting silence got in the way.

    I don’t know what happened there but I sensed something that must have really put so much weight on your chest. I understand and I just want you to know that you’re such a brave woman who can face whatever troubles come your way.

    I have faith in you, Bonnie.

    March 25, 2012 at 9:10 pm

  5. Your ever-kind words encourage me, Sony – thank you for that. You’re right, it is a big weight. I know I don’t need to sit on it for too much longer, it’s just not healthy.

    March 25, 2012 at 11:03 pm

  6. I totally understand not wanting to say certain things. But sometimes it’s good to say it, just once. It may make you feel better.

    March 27, 2012 at 8:27 am

    • Yep, you’re right Thoughtsy. And I am considering it.

      March 27, 2012 at 8:49 am

  7. Pingback: I had to say it out loud. « Life of Bon

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