27 Jan
It was on this day in 1949 when you were born. A couple months too early, as it turned out. Your Mom had lost her own mother just a month before, and it’s said the grief from that probably sent her into an early labor.
After several weeks in the incubator, you finally got to go home. Sometimes you’d mention wondering if your parents thought you’d even make it. “After all”, you said.. “they didn’t even have formula – they had to stop on the way home to buy some.” As a newborn, your older brother repeatedly threatened to ‘put you in the ice tray and freeze you’. These stories and many more circulated around my entire childhood, from the mouth of the source, your mother. While I believe they were innocently repeated for humor, it took many years for me to actually see the pain behind that smile.
Seemed as though the entire world just wasn’t ready yet for Linda.
I have heard you were the apple of your daddy’s eye. Losing him as an eleven year old child had to be awful, along with your two brothers. Back in those days, you knew well enough to keep your mouth shut and not tell anyone your business. Dry your eyes, put on some lipstick, fix yourself. Don’t let anybody else see.
An easy life was not meant for you. I’ve learned that oftentimes the ones who are most loyal and kind, get crapped on the most often – even and especially by those donning the name of family. I always wrestled with why pretty much your whole life seemed so unfair. Still do, at times, if I’m being honest. But, God. Our Father was always there, through every chapter in your life (chapters was your word lol), reminding you of His presence. Our life here is fleeting, dying. If it weren’t for your persistence through the years, Id likely not be living and speaking the Truth today. Praise God for that. Praise God I didn’t run out of time before He found me.
There’s much here I can’t even write about. You know, I know, God knows. You carried many burdens and dealt with unfair judgements which I still struggle with if I think about it too long. Truth is, I don’t remember many times in life where your load wasn’t super heavy. Yet, that was the absolute last thing you ever wanted to be to anyone else – a burden. You’d have carried anything within your power to spare your loved ones suffering. And did.
I’m still kind of numb to the fact that you’re not here. I do okay most of the time. You’d be proud I think. I’ve pushed it away, honestly. Not an easy place to go.
I know you won’t see this. I know you’re not “looking down” on me. That was always a bug of ours whenever someone said that. I am looking forward to seeing you again though, Mama. I never thought I could love someone more than you. Oh, but for our dear Savior Jesus. I never knew that kind of love until He rescued me. I’ll be hanging out with Him for what I hope to be a very long while, then I’ll come find you (or you me). Remember our saying, “I’m huntin’ ya!”
Thank you for not giving up on me, Mama.
We’ve got eternity. And, New Jerusalem’s gonna be spectacular. Dare I say… One for the Ages.
Revelation 21:4
“And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.”
Up High Again
This past weekend we packed our bags and headed up to Blowing Rock in the beautiful Blue Ridge mountains for an overnight trip. Normally being a day trip, it amazes me the intense coordination and planning it takes for us to ‘get away’ for just one night. The house sitter for our baby boy Mojo, food and drink shopping for said house sitter, coordinating the alarm system, etc. Of course, it does help knowing the house sitter is non other than my baby girl and her robust boyfriend. So at least there’s no huge guesswork on food choices there.
We stayed in this same place March of last year, a week after Keith proposed – so this return trip was very special to us. Originally built in 1874, the adorable hotel is called The Hemlock Inn. Today, the original inn has been completely refurbished with additional rooms having been added. Each of the beautifully decorated historic rooms offer individual rustic mountain settings complete with hardwood floors and antique decor. Each room having it’s own unique decor, we opt to stay in a different room each time. This was our room last weekend:
Here’s a couple shots from their website showing what’s in store once our beautiful warm summer weather decides to arrive (and stay).
Knowing the shops on Main Street so well, I was surprised we’d never been in the Six Pence Pub. Then I remembered neither of us are bar people, never have been! But since this place came highly recommended, we decided to pop in after we were checked and settled in our room. It did not disappoint. Though I didn’t get them in the picture, I’ll have to admit the fried pickles here are probably the best I’ve ever had.
Of course the trip would not have been complete without a leisurely drive on the Blue Ridge Parkway before we left on Sunday. It’s my dream to someday drive the entire Parkway from start to finish. We always gravitate to ‘our’ overlook… Big Bear overlook. This overlook has 360º scenic views and is very near Price Lake. It was disappointing to see that someone had stolen the rustic sign that’s resided there since we started coming – I guess this tells me it’s not just ‘our’ favorite overlook.
Here’s another panoram of the luxurious mountain laurel.
As usual, I found a t-shirt in a local store that I just couldn’t leave without. This shirt might as well have come preprinted with my name on it…
So I guess I’ll save my story of walking around naked in the dark with a gun for another time.
If I Could Go Back 10 years…
During the drive home yesterday I felt my mind aimlessly wonder into door number 678 of deep-thinking. I’ll admit I don’t go there often – when I do, it almost comes about subliminally, like when you’re about to drift off to sleep. Sometimes it ends in a rough-and-tumble with my alter ego. Many of my own deep thought activities involve scenarios, alternate endings, and options. For the record, I like options.
If you could go back 10 years or so… what is the single thing you would change? In this instance, the final answer would consist of a lone instance. Just one single thing to change if you could travel back ten years.
Here it is. I would retract at least 80% of the trust and vulnerability I’ve given out so freely, without having been earned.
Hey, wait – no, that’s two things!
No. See, when you give up too much trust, you become vulnerable. And when you become vulnerable, you become the submissive. I could carry this down a few levels further, you know.
Doesn’t that make 3 things now?! You’re not on the right track here, Bon.
Although it probably sounds like I’m at a spot where I’m regressing instead of progressing, let me assure you this isn’t the case. So why would I choose this subject? It’s simple. Because it’s having an effect on my current life.
Surgery Day
That time has come. I have to be at the hospital at 0530 tomorrow for surgery at 0730. For the past week and a half the sheer apprehension of it has all but taken it’s toll. I’m anxious to have this behind me and get back to my life… a life where I can actually eat a full meal, the food tastes delicious and my stomach isn’t tied up in a knot.
Peace out and talk to ya soon.
Stormy nights
After more storms whisked through the south the night before last, the current estimated time of power restoration has been moved from 5pm last night to 5pm tonight. What’s up with the south and all these destructive storms this year? The thunder, lightning, wind and rain of this storm out-did all other storms so far. Even the hailstorm didn’t have these kind of damaging winds and lightning… it only pounded things into oblivion. We’re supposed to get more storms through Tuesday, so I guess it’s time to batten down the hatches.
Thank goodness I still have my apartment, albeit one with no bed. It does still have a/c (a must in the south in May) and cable tv (a must since it was Survivor night and I’ve never missed an episode). With these two amenities calling us, Keith packed up a few things and our spoiled kitty Camille, and met me over at my apartment. He even thought to bring my bp meds – whatta guy that man is. 🙂
I must admit that I was a little sad I’d unknowingly spend my last night in my apartment last Thursday night. We’d decided to carry my bed over on a whim last Sunday, meaning there was no ‘reflection time’ assigned to my last night spent there. This power outage was a hidden blessing. I found it only befitting that I got to spend just one more night there, with both my man and my little animal. So the palette on the floor did just fine.
My friend Shawn over at Happy Publishing posted this today. Although it’s been around a while, it’s a few great reminders of how to make the world a little more livable. I found it more than worthy of a repost.
- Do not contradict people, even if you are sure you are right.
- Do not be inquisitive about the affairs of even your most intimate friend.
- Do not underrate anything because you do not possess it.
- Do not believe all the evil you hear.
- Do not repeat gossip, even if it does interest a crowd.
- Do not jeer at anyone’s religious belief.
- Learn to hide your aches and pains under a pleasant smile; few care whether you have an earache, headache, or rheumatism.
- Learn to attend to your own business – a very important point.
- Do not try to be anything else but a gentleman or a lady; and that means one who has consideration for the whole world, and all races.
~Unknown
Life of Bon 
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