Dreamin’ again

I probably got 4 hours total last night, and that might be a stretch. Bad dreams don’t bother me so much, unless they’re mega-realistic. Last night’s was one of those.

We were meeting up with relatives for my daughter’s upcoming college graduation dinner. With the two sides of the family getting together again for the first in a very long time, it was already stressful. But then there was Mammaw – this is my grandmother who passed away almost a decade ago. She was standing beside Mom, looking beautiful, elegant. Actually everyone there looked their absolute best, the men in suits, women in dresses, makeup on point. But Mammaw looked ravishing, as she appears in most dreams I have of her. She was wearing a red and black dress. Mom had such a worried look on her face. She told me, ‘I think Mammaw just had a stroke again. All the symptoms are there, but she won’t even hear of going to the doctor’. Apparently she didn’t want to ruin Julia’s grad dinner. I then tried to talk her into going, telling her I’d take her myself right then. She never spoke to me, just had this dreamy far away look in her eyes. It brings me to tears to even recollect it. The dream ended there.

Boy do I miss her. She would have been the life of this ‘party’. Correction – Mammaw and my stepdad would’ve had to share the limelight on that one. Big O. It’s for sure this would’ve been one of his most proud moments – the ‘apple of his eye’ graduating college.

I know they’ll both accompany us in our spirit. But somehow… I think they’ll both be privy to see it as well. It’s just something that I feel.