I came home the other day to a flyer stuck halfway through my front door. It was a friendly reminder of how my lease is up for renewal – again. It’s really hard for me to believe that I’ve been living here for two years now.
Before I moved here, I was a frequent visitor of this little town surrounded by a lake. Somehow, I always ended up here when I found myself in the midst of turmoil. It was the first and only place I would mindlessly drive to. It quickly became as natural as a mother’s love, pure instinct – to drive several miles down the road to the lake. I’ve always been drawn to water, and that’s the only explanation I have for it.
I’ve sat in front of this lake in each of the four seasons. Sometimes only wearing a tank and shorts, barefoot – other times heavily clad in my winter garb, scarf wrapped tightly around my numb face. Just about all of the weather events have seen me there as well, with the exception of snow.
I’ve dreamt in front of it, cried in front of it, and slept in front of it. I’ve been approached by cops who likely thought I was a parked drunk, who when faced with my puffy mascara-stained eyes, chose to leave me alone for bigger and better subjects. I used to wish so hard that someone would come after me; pull up beside me, park and knock on the window… get in and speak softly, talk things out reasonably. Even though that someone was well aware of the place I went, eventually it became clear that wish would never even once come true.
It’s no wonder that I ended up here. For one last final time, this little lake town was the first and only place I came to when faced with starting a new life – the place where I was destined to start over. My very own little treehouse in the sky. No, it doesn’t overlook the lake, but I can walk to it down a trail through the woods. At night on my balcony, I can hear the soft hum of boats cruising it. And maybe one day, God willing, I’ll be lucky enough to captain a boat of my very own across it.
Yes, I’ll be resigning another lease. My little third floor condo that backs up to the forest suits me perfectly, and I’m nowhere near ready to give it up just yet. If and when the time ever comes to move again, I already know my emotions will flow like the ocean. Because this is, and was, my first and only pick. And, it was the right one – imagine that. 🙂
Leave a Reply