BREATHE
I recently received an email entitled “Courage”. It got me to thinking. What exactly is courage? Furthermore, what about the courage to love?
Fairy tales? No such thing. Forever afters? Hac-tuiii. Pardonne moi….
I have to laugh to keep from crying, more. For the past couple of days my face has resembled something monstrous and I’m growing weary of it. Quite simply, my heart is breaking. Right now I just feel like retreating inside my cave for, well forever.
The Courage to Love. I’ve always been a firm believer of the old saying ‘If you love something, set it free – if it comes back to you, it’s yours. If it doesn’t, it never was.’ Well… up to a point, anyway. One should never go so far as to allow their selves to become a doormat for anyone else.
I guess I’m old fashioned, I’ll admit that. I am southern, after all. I’ve never been one of these feminists who mandate equality of the sexes, and never will. It’s my belief that women shouldn’t ‘chase’ men – it should be the other way around. I also believe that if a man loves a woman enough… I mean really loves them… they won’t let her go without a fight. They’ll do anything and everything to keep her – anything less than that simply isn’t real. Call it what you will – it’s an illusion. Don’t fool yourself. Life’s too short.
Hey, self – remember this: I Myself, will NOT… break. Already been through Hell and back once – and I ain’t planning a return trip anytime soon.
Tropical Storm Bon (nie)
I love looking at pictures of hotels and condos for rent at the beach. With all the online photo galleries and virtual tours they have now, it’s almost taking a little mini-vacation.
Almost.
K and I spent a good bit of last night checking out different places online. Our one-year anniversary is only a couple of weeks away, and we’ve talked about trying to head down to the coast for a couple of nights. I can hardly believe it’s been a year already…
Last night he took me out to a place called Logan’s not far from his house. They have the second-to-best ribs I’ve ever had in my life. Simply delectable… fall-off-the-bone-waste-not-a-bit-of-meat goodness. I’ve only experienced one place that beats Logan’s on ribs, and that would be TK Tripps at the beach.
For a four-day week, this sure has been a long one – I’m thankful for the Friday. The heat has been immeasurable this whole week, with highs around 98-100º. Thankfully, we’re getting a break starting tomorrow with hopefully some rain and definite lower temps.
K told me last night that the next-up tropical storm will take the name Bonnie. Well well well. I distinctly remember over a decade ago when Hurricane Bonnie ripped through Myrtle Beach. It’s hard to fathom the name has already made it’s way back around again. I never did score me one of those “I survived Bonnie” t-shirts back in ’98…
Happy weekend, everyone. ♥
Rest, Relaxation and Reality
I got a full night’s rest last night without waking up even once, until about 0830 this morning. My guy took me to see the movie Eclipse last night, what a great movie. No, I am not one of those over-40 women who gush over the boy stars (but umm, let me say there’s only one that I still consider a boy…) 🙂 I think what I love so much about the saga is it’s the perfect mix of action, drama and romance. And let’s face it, it’s unrealistic – so the Piscean in me basks in that dreamy part of it too. Anyway, I won’t spoil it for you – just to say if you haven’t yet seen it, it’s a must-see.
A day off, finally. What a joy to not have anything to do or anywhere to go. Pressing, that is. Time is at my own pace, and come what will. The weather is cooler, humidity is down, sun still shining, and hallelujah Praise God I’m off for three whole days. Even a simple trip to the grocery store and to tan was enjoyable this morning. Rode with the windows down and my hair blowing, just like it was spring again.
Now, if someone would just invent a Virtual Vacation to the beach, I’d be just peachy. Everyone I know is either en route there, or on the way back. I’m serious when I say everyone. Well, almost. Most of my friends on facebook are, my daughter is, my cousins are, I don’t need to go on. Guess I’ll be there one day soon, hopefully. My friend is getting married at the beach on August 22nd, so I’ll definitely be there on that day even if I have to drive down alone for that. She so deserves this most perfect day in her life and I’m so happy for her.
I do love fairytale endings… and they happen so rarely in Real Life. Hmmm, maybe the fairytale is what I love so much about the Twilight Saga. ♥
May I please have a conclusive?
Well, I’ve gone and done it this time. How I did it is anyone’s guess. I’ve battled it for a little over a week now but instead of improving, said condition is deteriorating quickly. If I were to diagnose myself, I would say I have a pinched nerve in my lower neck / upper left back. But who am I?
I’ve said many times I will not go to a doctor for this because I know the first thing he’ll want is an MRI. Seeing things from an orthopedic surgeon’s view, I do understand the reasoning for an MRI. However, since my deductibles have risen on my insurance from 500 to 1,000, the amount of money they’ll require beforehand is completely undoable. Period. So no MRI. The pain at work today was excruciating, there is nothing at all I can do for relief – and so my hand was forced. I made the appointment.
The doctor I’m seeing has seen me before on a couple of occasions in past years, so I’m not a complete stranger there. I hope to get some sort of relief or ‘answer’… although my medical history is such that an actual diagnosis rarely never happens. Aside from a lone pregnancy test coming back positive 20+ years ago, everything medical in my life (I’m recounting as I write) has been inconclusive. Hell that should be my word of the day.
I hate complaining… furthermore I hate chronic complainers. They’re not only no fun to be around / work with / be friends of / have the misfortune of being your partner, but to me it gets stale real fast. No one wants to be around someone who is constantly moaning about their ailments, let’s face it. We want to be associated with ‘upbeat’ people. Ones who make us laugh, bring out the best in our own personalities. That person used to be me. Simply put – I’ve gotta get my life back.
Wednesday isn’t a fish
My stylist cancelled out on me yesterday. I was disappointed, but understood. Her son had not completed the necessary credits to graduate high school, and come graduation day (yesterday) it hit her hard – she was just crushed. I can only imagine how she felt. So, I will go Friday instead to get the ‘hair did’.
Here’s a little Wednesday humor (thanks Christen)…
An illegal immigrant picks up a hooker.
“Hey, how much you charge by da hour, sister?” he asks.
“$100,” she replies.
In broken English, he says, “Do you do immigrant style?”
“No” she says.
“I pay you $200 to do immigrant style.”
“No,” she says, not knowing what immigrant style is.
“I pay you $300.”
“No,” she says.
“I pay you $400.”
“No,” she says.
So finally he says, “OK, I pay $1,000 to do immigrant style.”
She thinks to herself – well, I’ve been in the game for over 10 years now. I’ve had every kind of request from weirdo’s from every part of the world. How bad could immigrant style be?
So she agrees and has sex with him. Finally, after several hours, they finish. Exhausted, the hooker turns to him and says, “Hey, I was expecting something perverted and disgusting. But that was good. So, what exactly is immigrant style?”
The illegal immigrant replies, “You send bill to Government.”
My way
It’s beautiful out today – true summertime in every since of the word. Honestly it seems like the first day of summer was over a month ago, never mind the fact it’s still a week away. Back to the days of leaving your windows cracked two inches and placing that anti-seat/steeringwheel-burner-device-thingy in your windshield.
I get a treat today, going to ‘get my hair did’ after work. I consider it a treat because I haven’t been for a haircut since January, and haven’t had it colored since last summer. I ought to just shock the hell out of everybody and go short and red. Being that my stylist knows me personally, I don’t think she’d do it even if I asked her.
Cooked a big old pot of s’ghetti last night. I really enjoy cooking it ‘my way’ (great, now I’ll have Sinatra in my head all day). For 20+ years, all I was ‘allowed’ to have in it was the meat and sauce, and that sauce better not have any visible onions in it or said meal would be ruined. Oh, I could add some garlic salt, forgot about that. Even too many tomatoes in the sauce would constitute a 10-minute period of ‘picking them out’, one by one, until a nice little pile was accumulated beside the now lukewarm/cool plate of spaghetti.
I now put fresh minced garlic in it, and cut up a vidalia onion and green pepper. Add a can of mushrooms to the sauce, throw in a large can of diced & spiced tomatoes, and my little array of spices don’t forget the cayenne pepper. Let that puppy sit in the fridge for a day and have it for dinner that next night… simply delectable. And I’m not the only one who thinks so. 🙂
Friday yet?
No material today, so thought I’d throw in a laugh or two. Hopefully.
Poor fella. Wish I were him.
Mind your manners.
You GO, studmuffin.
Caption already noted.
This guy gets my vote for ‘funniest face of the year’.
The last end-result of the catastrophic Gulf oil spill.
Murky water
I recently resolved myself to the fact that I wouldn’t write anything if I didn’t have anything to talk about. I don’t like to hear myself talk that much. So….
Here’s my little poem for the day.
I want ☀
Instead I have ☂
I’ll give you the ☽
If you’ll put me on a ✈
Okay, I should’ve quit while I was ahead.
❤
Strawberry fields forever
The end of the week is finally in sight. Most of us get an extended weekend this time, with Memorial Day giving us that extra holiday. It couldn’t come at a better time, I need some extra time off.
All my shows are over now. American Idol, Dancing with the Stars, Biggest Loser and Survivor are history for the season. Maybe I’ll actually get something done now, or at least get outside more. Maybe try my hand at growing some strawberries. I’ll have to say American Idol’s season finale last night was the best ever. The guest stars were amazing and the show in general was just awesome. Definitely entertainment at it’s best!!
Happy Friday to all. I know, it’s Thursday. Have I mentioned that I’m off tomorrow?
New Year, New Beginnings
2009 – a colorful year it’s been for me. In addition to my love for the ocean, there’s actually a hidden reason behind why I chose my particular banner picture, which I pasted a copy of below.
Color.
Those who know me know that my ‘word of the year’ chosen to represent 2008 was Monumental. 2008 was my year of change, a change that required an extreme strength and perseverance – the type of strength I thought never could exist in me. For this reason I believe the word Monumental to be ever so fitting for that year.
I find it just as fitting to associate the word Colorful with my year of 2009. In this little rainbow prismatic year of mine, I’ve basically created a complete series of making mistakes and learning from them. But never mind the mistakes I’ve made, or the repercussions from them – I still have to look back and smile, at all of it. I’ve come to realize how I’ve grown and have been made a better person now, by just having been associated with some new people that came in and out of my life.
I look at it this way. 2008, the last half of it anyway, started out as a shockwave. Fast-forward to sorrow, self-pity, and finally moving into that godforsaken lonely empty feeling. As I moved into 2009, the search was on. For what… I didn’t know. I was however reaching out for something, with arms wide open. I found that, like a butterfly who had just discovered her wings, the world was mine for the taking. The territory left unchartered was endless. So many opportunities, and so much lost time. Nope – the objects I landed on weren’t always in my best interest. I’ve taken much from these experiences though – through weathering the storms and learning some pretty hard lessons. I’ve found that it’s how we react and learn from our mistakes that will determine our success in life, or lack of it.
Hmm. Can’t help but wonder what my word of 2010 will be.
Banner picture for 2009
Life of Bon 
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