Time in a bottle
Have you ever thought about the old saying ‘actions speak louder than words’? I’ve thought about it quite a bit lately. It points out the fact that while people may say one thing, their actions may be saying something quite different – and throughout time, a persons actions tend to give a better indication of their true nature.
Reflecting back on prior lessons learned, I know that we can usually relate this to relationships. Sometimes you feel so very certain about your future or how someone else feels about you, and then something crystal clear is presented. It may be something you’ve ignored for a while, perhaps even grown accustomed to throughout time. It could have been a question that was raised before, only to be brushed back under the rug.
Just like time itself.
More lucid delusions
The past two nights my dreams have been nothing short of incredibly weird. It was explained to me by reason of “sometimes your brain just needs to dump the crap each day”. Well, okay – I’ll buy into that.
Dream documentation #232.
Sunday night, I dreamed of myself, my daughter, my mother, my mother-in-law, my ex-husband, and my deceased sister-in-law. My remaining sister-in-law that is still alive was not in this dream. We all were at some recreational park in which a walkway surrounded this flowing river of sorts – almost like a man-made whitewater center, located in the mountains. I noticed my ex-husband racing a small motor-boat around in what turned out to be a lazy river, with swimmers and floaters alike occupying the water. I remember thinking ‘he’s gonna run over someone, or at the very least piss somebody off’. Meanwhile my mother, daughter, mother-in-law, deceased sister-in-law and I were were standing in line at some concession stand. My deceased sister-in-law was angry and upset with me, which seemed to be overshadowing an otherwise good time. I stood beside her in the dream, put my arm around her waist and said “This is not the place and time. We’re all here for Julia [my daughter]”, to which she nodded yes. Next I remember us walking up to a secluded cabin on a hill, where for some reason we were all staying at. The view was excellent and the cabin was rustic and beautiful, inside and out.
At the end of the dream my ex-husband was still out there, going ’round and ’round that river in the boat, as if being driven to do so.
As usual, in documenting the above dream the pertinent one from last night eludes me – this doesn’t come as a surprise. Maybe I’ll get some alone time today on my outside labeling project and it’ll come flooding back. If so, I’ll include it on here as I’d originally planned.
Dream documentation #231 (written December 13, 2010 – but never posted)
Deep into Saturday night, I dreamed of snow. I was driving on the interstate and it became increasingly difficult as I went along. At one point, I got a ‘running start’ while going downhill, and even while driving in someone else’s tracks the foot-plus of snow was bringing me to a halt. I haven’t seen that much snow in, well, it’s been years. It seemed so real. I ended up abandoning my car and attempting to walk to my unknown destination.
Iterum occasió
I’ve written about second chances more than one time, so you’re likely already aware of my deep appreciation of them. The dear fella by the name of Shawn B. over at Happy Publishing frequently brightens the days of many with his website dedicated to inspirational quotations and poems. The one posted yesterday captured my attention, and heart.
The following was posted January 17, 2001 on www.happypublishing.com. Feel free to check the site out if you get a chance…
The Second Chance
We may not have the means at hand
To change a circumstance.
But we may gain, to our relief,
A welcome second chance–
A chance to prove that we will try,
With all our might and main,
To change our ways, to right some wrong,
And pull our weight again.
So let us thank the generous folk
Who overlook our lapse,
And put their trust in our success,
Where once we failed, perhaps.
The second chance can bright results
The first one to outweigh,
For in the meantime we have learned
A little more each day.
-Anna Hayward
Declutter thyself 2011
Up until now it’s been my ‘silent’ New Year’s resolution. Back when I moved in mid ’08, I was probably the most de-cluttered I’d ever been in my life. Since then – well, let’s just say I’m no hoarder or anything like you see on television, but things have slowly been building back up. I can’t stand it, and it certainly doesn’t take long for it to happen.
I’ve always heard that if you don’t use something a year after boxing it up, you can toss it (aside from certain memorabilia of course… which, if taken to extremes could still lead to hoarding).
So.
My plan of action is to tackle one area at a time, one thing at a time. Now all I need is some Tacklin’ Fuel to do it with (said using my best New Orleans accent of The Waterboy, Mr. Bobby Boucher). Yes, yes. Tacklin’ Fuel. Now, to find that fuel…
Born-on date
Is today for my sweet guy, Keith. Happy Birthday, baby! I hope you enjoy your special day, and the year ahead is all you wish it to be and much more. You truly deserve it.
The sixties… it seems so long ago, but yet not so long ago. Sure, we can’t really remember that era as children of the seventies, but we still remember all the hype. A lot of it we heard about from our parents, you could always depend on the media’s skewed views, and anything left we were taught in history class. The protests, the demonstrations, the assassinations, the Vietnam war, the flower power.
The seventies, now that’s really where it all began. Friends, bikes, and spending most of your time outside. Jimi Hendrix. All in the Family. Watergate. Hee Haw. You still remember your surroundings when you heard Elvis Presley died. Disco music. KISS.
I won’t go into the rest of the decades, as I could only document my own. Unbeknownst to us at the time, during the eighties we came together briefly by being classmates of the same graduating year. How I really wish I’d known you then, but then again, timing is everything….
To everything there is a season,
and a time to every purpose under heaven:
A time to be born,
and a time to die;
a time to plant,
and a time to pluck up
that which is planted;
A time to kill,
and a time to heal;
a time to break down,
and a time to build up;
A time to weep,
and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn,
and a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones,
and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace,
and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to get,
and a time to lose;
a time to keep,
and a time to cast away;
A time to rend,
and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence,
and a time to speak;
A time to love,
and a time to hate;
a time of war;
and a time of peace.
The Holy Bible (King James Version)
Attributed to King Solomon
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
Icing on the cake
And that’s sure what it was. The icing came all during the day yesterday from late afternoon on into the night. When all was said and done, about three-eighths of an inch of bonified icing topped our lovely vanilla snow cake. I am eternally thankful we never lost power.
It’s going on mid-week now, and I have yet to go to work. I realized today that my car wasn’t going to de-ice itself, neither was the driveway going to shovel itself. So we dressed, went outside and made a big show of it, huffing and puffing and sliding/sweating our little buns off – to start and finish a job we didn’t really want to do. Seeing as how the temps aren’t supposed to rise above freezing until Friday-ish, I needed to get my tail in gear and do what I had to do to get home. You see, my little treehouse is situated privately in the very back of a complex that can be tricky at best in ice – but once I get out of there, I’m on a main thoroughfare. In going back to work, there was no way I was getting out of Keith’s neighborhood any time before noon. So, I had to get home.
I really don’t mean to drill this ‘Southern’ thing into the ground when it comes to us driving, but… okay just one more time. Have I told you we just can’t drive in the stuff? Snow is bad enough, but go and add over a quarter-inch of ice over it? Impossible. Through country back-roads that have no hope of ever being scraped/brimed? Inconceivable. But, guess who did it and made the ten-mile trip back home? (And, might I add, *cough-cough* you-tubed a portion of it?)
ME! (If anyone ever had doubt as to my southern-ness before, please refer to that accent – my gosh. I’ve obviously been here awhile now.)
Okay, enough with the bragging. For those who wonder, Keith was insistent on at least following me – I just saw no logic in it. After several failed attempts at convincing me, I finally convinced him that I had a cell phone and that signals had always been plentiful through the area, with the exception of a certain spot. But hey, I also had my new snow boots on! So, Da da da-DAH da-DAH!! It’ssss Super–Bonnnn!!
Top left, a Snow-Angel named Keith; top right, icicles hanging from the roof; bottom left, a few minutes into de-icing the 'windsled'; bottom right, me cheesing in (are those really bedroom slippers??) in the snow. Don't ask where the new boots are – I have no idea.
Well, I hadn’t been at home very long at all when a crave-wave winded it’s way into my head and wafted right down to where I could literally smell it.
Chinese… take-out… mmm, good good… come and get me…
I tried to ignore it, really I tried… to no avail. Moments later I was back on the road on a Chinese food quest. I found it so weird that there was no 5 o’clock rush-hour traffic. I mean NONE. I did mention, didn’t I, that the ice and snow brought this city to a screeching halt?
So here it is, my fortune for the date 1-11-11. A very befitting one, I think, considering my day…
Guess this whole ‘I can drive now’ thing means one thing – I gotta go back to work tomorrow…
Winter wonderland
“Baby… it’s white outside”, I woke up to Keith whispering in my ear about 4am this morning. Sure enough, the ground was covered – as much of the south is today. It’s been an unusual winter so far in the south in terms of snowfall. The next few hours were spent pulling up dopplar radars on our phones and contacting the necessary bosses to advise them we weren’t coming in.
As long as Keith and I have been together and through several snows, we’ve never been together during a snow. So instead of packing up and going home yesterday, I went and gathered some extra clothes and opted to stay at his house. Being the sweetie he is, he even took me to the store and bought me some boots to walk in the snow in (it’s tough getting around in the white stuff in tennis-shoes). We loaded up on the needed goods including another feeder and more sunflower seed for the birds, which they’ve been going nuts over this morning. Camille’s been so enthralled with the birds, that like a little kid she won’t even take a nap. In typical southern fashion, the snow has pretty much crippled the city and surrounding areas.
But it’s soooo pretty. 🙂
Camille scored her a new bed Friday, which would’ve normally taken a few weeks for her to break down and get in. For some unknown reason, she took right to this one! Maybe it’s the color fashion that so closely corresponds with her own.
Or maybe it was the fire.
Thirteen years ago
Every January 6th, many memories come flooding back of you, my dear deceased stepdad.
They called you Big O. You were a sailor, businessman, trucker, husband, dad, pawpaw, and friend. I’m not the only one these memories revisit so very often, there are of course others – your wife, your granddaughter, son-in-law and all of your children and grandchildren alike.
You were a man like no other; generous, loving and strong. You see, God really did break the mold when he made you. I’ve never seen a person who loved people in general so much – you just never met a stranger. Nothing pleased you more than to make someone laugh or smile. You were known to go up and put a strong arm around an unknown and give them a jovial ‘shake’ when you thought they might be having a bad day. Only once in a while would it make the person uncomfortable, but I like to think it made the day better for most.
My, how you loved Dale Earnhardt Sr. – and to say you were passionate about your racing was an understatement. At the time, the infamous Daytona 500 was the one big win that had always eluded your driver – and of course you always took a lot of heat for this. I want you to know the following month after you died, Earnhardt drove his car to victory in his very first Daytona 500 win. It was a very emotional day down here to say the least – but a bright spot nonetheless. Sadly, three years later Earnhardt lost his own life in turn 4 at that very track. There wasn’t any bigger fan of Earnhardt as was you. You and he even looked so much alike it was uncanny – I like to think you’ve both met up by now. I can just see you walking together… with your hand on Earnhardt’s shoulder, telling him your stories.
Many different occasions you’d see a girl or lady with their midriff showing, perhaps even bearing a belly-ring. I remember how you loved that opportunity to go up to these females, put an arm around them and say in your southern drawl “I’ll bet that you like sailors, don’t ya?” I can’t remember a time where the female didn’t look stunned, finally responding with a grin and a “Why?” to which you would say “Because you’re showing off your naval base!!”. You’d always laugh heartily and then flash that big Earnhardt smile. Actually, it was Earnhardt that had your smile. 🙂
I could write page after page about your character and the huge impact you had on not only my life but virtually everyone you came into contact with… but it would be further emotionally draining today and… long. I believe, though, that somehow you had an idea of how much everyone loved you. Your guidance, perseverance and faith in me greatly shaped my character. And, you would be so proud of the relationship I have with both my mom and dad today.
That fateful January 6th day of ’98 was to be your last. You had a massive heart attack that morning and went to be with Jesus. I have no doubt in my mind that’s where you are now… not a single doubt.
On the 13th anniversary of your sunset Big O, know that you’re still missed just as terribly today as you were in those moments right after your departure. So enjoy yourself up there, tell Mammaw hey for me – and we’ll being seeing ya…
Here’s to my health, and all that.
I’ve had much rest this past holiday season. The joy has been tremendous and the stress very minimal. However, even a beautiful post-holiday beach vacation to bring in the New Year isn’t enough to keep the blood pressure level in check for ole’ Bon. Apparently the second med that was added a couple of weeks ago was an Epic Fail. In lieu of waiting for that one month follow-up visit, I called Doc up yesterday morning. After another failed attempt on acquiring correct triage information between 4-5 phone conversations throughout the day, the last of the conversations went something like this.
Medical Assistant: Dr. Yadada has faxed in a new prescription that’s waiting for you at Your-Pharmacy, USA – you are to immediately quit your current bp meds and replace with this new ‘combination’ prescription.
Bon: What, a combination? So he said to cease taking the blah-blah? Wait – does this new ‘combination’ rx contain a beta-blocker, like the blah-blah I’ve been on for thirteen years?
Medical Assistant: I’m not sure.
Bon: I don’t think Dr. Yadada would just pull me off a beta-blocker which I’ve been on for thirteen years that’s pertinent to my survival. Just the last visit, he told me I’ll be on this one for the rest of my life. Think you could double-check with him?
Medical Assistant: Hmm… from what he said I’m thinking he meant come off of all your prior bp meds and immediately replace with this new one that’s a combo.
Bon: *Shock* Well, what’s the name of it, I’ll see if I can look it up.
Medical Assistant: I don’t really (really??) have access to that, as I don’t work in clinical.
(NOTE: ‘I don’t work in clinical’ most likely translates to ‘I don’t know what the f**k I’m talking about medically’. The title Medical Assistant assigned to her by yours truly is more than likely a very generous title.)
Bon: Look lady. One day off the beta-blocker could literally mean a stroke or worse for me. This is my LIFE we’re talking about here. I don’t want to hear what ‘you’re thinking’. I want to know what HE’S thinking.
Medical Assistant: Okay Ms. (cough-cough) Bitch, I’ll see if I can reach him again and verify if not all, which rx you are to replace with the new one.
You can probably guess the outcome. I was to remain on my beta-blocker and the new ‘combination’ one was once again an addition. It took the remainder of the day for me to calm down from this little ditty. With competent souls like this getting paid to look after your healthfare, will someone please tell me who the heck needs enemies?
Life of Bon 
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