Choices
In this game of life, there are some things which we have control over, and some we don’t. We can choose to be kind and compassionate to people, or we can be nasty and vile. We can choose to help our neighbors, or we can hinder or block the good deeds of others. We can choose to ‘do the right thing’ – or we can attempt to break those around us.
So how do you handle a miserable existence of an individual who is so delusionally obsessed over your life and that of your loved one, that it’s become their sole objective to infiltrate it in any way possible? An individual who recruits their own family members and friends to aid in their own juvenile schemes? An individual who is greatly influencing their child with their deception and lack of moral character? I believe that this lone corrupt individual must be left to bask in their own self-destruction. I choose to neither feed nor lend energy to this hateful, dark, putrid excuse for a human being.
Because some things never change.
So I’ll tell you how I handle it. I choose happiness. My drama cup shall remain empty. I’ve made it this far, and believe me when I say I ain’t going back. I choose that bright light that our Lord promises and provides, free of charge – for any of us who are willing to receive it.
Daisy Chain
The following is actually from a little over a year ago, before my blogging days. I did not write the words, but over a fair amount of time did do the compilation – written from a variety of beloved sources and wise souls. I remember at the time, I was in a sense lost – feeling alone and blissfully unaware of my own purpose in life. My arrival at this point came from a failed 21-year marriage and the quest to ‘find myself’. I was comforted by the wise words, and found myself ever-searching of them.
Running across it brought back memories of being truly alone. Of the endless search for wisdom – of knowledge of who was fake and who was authentic; and the hopeful ability to discern the difference. I’m not changing any of the content, nor the order… and I do realize it’s scattered. But at the time, so was I.
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My best dreams and worst nightmares have the same people in them.
What is more the benefit? To love a person that is already loved by everyone, or to love a person that is rejected by everyone?
Hugging is healthy. It helps the immune system, cures depression, reduces stress, and induces sleep. It’s invigorating, rejuvenating & has no unpleasant side effects. It’s nothing less than a miracle drug. Hugging is all natural. It’s organic, naturally sweet, has no artificial ingredients, environmentally friendly & is 100% wholesome. Hugging is the ideal gift. Great for any occasion, fun to give & receive, shows you care, comes with its own wrapping paper and, of course, is fully returnable.
I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.
We wait all these years to find someone who understands us… someone who accepts us as we are… someone with a wizard’s power to melt stone to sunlight… that can bring us happiness in spite of trials… that can face our dragons in the night… who can transform us into the soul we choose to be. Just yesterday I found that magical someone is the face we see in the mirror: It’s us and our homemade masks.
Happiness needs sadness. Success needs failure. Benevolence needs evil. Love needs hatred. Victory needs defeat. Pleasure needs pain.
You must experience and accept the extremes. Because if the contrast is lost, you lose appreciation; and when you lose appreciation, you lose the value of everything.
Of the Seven Deadly Sins, anger is possibly the most fun. To lick your wounds, to smack your lips over grievances long past, to roll over your tongue the prospect of bitter confrontations still to come, to savor to the last toothsome morsel of both the pain you are given and the pain you are giving back – in many ways it is a feast fit for a king. The chief drawback is that what you are wolfing down is yourself. The skeleton at the feast is you.
Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
Forgiveness does not overlook the deed. It rises above it.
It always amazes me to see people making a decision to never forgive. It’s like trying to punish their tormentors by harming themselves. In the long run, it’s not a question of whether they deserve to be forgiven. You’re not forgiving them for their sake. You’re doing it for yourself. For your own health and well being, forgiveness is simply the most energy-efficient option. It frees you from the incredibly toxic, debilitating drain of holding a grudge. Don’t let these people live rent free in your head. If they hurt you before, why let them keep doing it year after year in your mind? It’s not worth it but it takes heart effort to stop it. You can muster that heart power to forgive them as a way of looking out for yourself. It’s one thing you can be totally selfish about.
I’ve always heard to live everyday as if it was your last. I disagree. I think you should live everyday as if it was your first, where everything is new and exciting. You try new things, and you’re not waiting for your life to end – you’re waiting for it to begin.
Your friends are your release. They’re who you have the most fun with, and yet when the going gets tough, those people turn around and suddenly they’re not just making you laugh, they’re being this rock and giving you all their advice. Even though you’re so much your own person, if you dissect yourself, I guarantee you, your friends are in there. Their influence is incredible. However rare true love may be, it is less so than true friendship.
You’ll never know how much you needed your friends until you look back along the rope and realize how many knots they tied to keep you from Falling. I don’t want someone to catch me when I fall; I want someone to stop me before I do.
Someday someone might come into your life and love you the way you’ve always wanted. If your someday was yesterday, learn. If your someday is tomorrow, hope. If your someday is today, cherish.
Walking away isn’t the hard part – it’s not looking back.
Tears are words the heart can’t say.
I tried to conquer the Universe, but it defeated me.
I tried to capture the Universe, but it eluded me.
I tried to understand the Universe, but it outwitted me.
So, clumsily, hesitantly, I tried to love the Universe,
And it embraced me.
Does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the state of Washington? And, they tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.
Sooner or later you have to make a choice…leave behind your passion, your dreams – or have the strength to look past all discouraging faces and look at yourself and know that you have what it takes… and you will prove them wrong.
To love requires courage, the ability to take a risk, the readiness even to accept pain and disappointment. Whoever insists on safety and security as primary conditions of life cannot love; whoever shuts himself off in a system of defense and possession as his means of security, makes himself a prisoner.
Never assume greatness is for someone else. Imagine every day that you too can do great things. Have the courage to take the challenge, make the mistakes, and move forward. Who knows, maybe one day someone will be sharing your moment with you.
The Truth
I just noticed my daughter’s latest facebook status update. It reads, “When at night you cannot sleep, talk to the Shepherd and stop counting sheep.” Truth.
My boyfriend made me a bracelet this weekend. I watched closely as he carefully color-coordinated bead by bead on a strong leather strand. As he tied it on my arm I told him, “This is my love bracelet.” Truth.
Now I’m gonna dive deep. What is a simple definition of Truth, really… a verified fact? Conformity to reality or actuality? Sincerity… integrity? A fact, a proof?
Most of us have known one or more persons in our life that have issues with honesty, or have problems telling the truth. The ones that really get me, though, are those who are blatantly caught at something and can still look you right in the eye and lie about it – even when facts are presented.
For some reason, it always brings to mind one of my all-time favorite comedic skits. A woman confronts her man over questions of infidelity, and the man vehemently denies any wrong-doing even though he’s caught red-handed. Click here for a look… this is hilarious in a raw kinda way.
Hey…. wadn’t me….
If only everyone just knew how much the truth really means, of all it’s able to accomplish for us. That when used, it can overcome so many negative feelings or emotions. Being honest makes people trust you, respect you. It brings about a heightened sense of security in a relationship, and strengthens each of you in many different ways. When you tell a loved one the truth, it’s actually saying ‘you are precious to me and worthy of complete knowledge’.
The way I see it, the general consensus wins. Once a liar, always a liar. In my forty-two years, I’ve personally never witnessed a huge changeover in a person who has issues with being honest. That’s unfortunate, not only for them but for the persons involved with them.
The Truth. Will. Set. You. Free. Seriously? Well, yeah – I believe it will. Put it this way… I’d rather hear the truth any old day than some sugar-coat of a fakeness. It may not always be something I want to hear…. but I want to hear it nonetheless. Now I know I can’t change the world, I quit trying a long time ago. It does make for a nice dream though…
The tickle factor
I do love to laugh – always have, and always will. At anything and everything… whenever appropriate, that is. I’ve never been the kind of person who will giggle at anothers expense, though; like when someone trips, falls out of a chair, etc. Guess I just never found humor in a situation that had the potential of embarrassing another individual.
Last night my guy and I found ourselves in a discussion on being ticklish. Not actually tickling, just discussing it. 🙂 So it seems that the older we’ve gotten, the less ticklish we’ve both become. Has anyone else run into this?
Even in my twenties, I was very ticklish in many many areas. But now… well you really have to catch me on a good day to implement the ole’ tickle factor. Unless, of course, it occurs during a romantic moment when I’m trying to remain serious. Yes, it does seem to only happen a ‘whim’ nowadays. This seriously saddens me!
There’s already a shortage of laughter in the world. But to see yourself losing that every-faithful ‘auto button’… well, let’s just say I’m taking that one pretty hard.
Gripes©
No one likes a person that constantly complains. I like to refer to them as ‘downers’, because let’s face it – unless it’s done in humorous fashion, it does bring you down. Sometimes though, you just need to get things off your chest. Things you might normally let slide or roll off your back on a daily basis can mount up and come out in a very bad way if you don’t unload every once in a while.
So, gentle readers, be forewarned that today will be my bitch day. Hey… I’ve done a ‘things I love’ blog before. It’s only fitting that I have a ‘things I hate’ one…
- I hate running across people I call ‘provers’. These people basically need to have whatever you tell them proven right then in order to believe you.
- I hate when I say something about a restaurant that I went to the night before, and a downer is listening and informs me that they don’t have any food in their cabinets.
- I hate when I pay extra for a Marie Callendar’s frozen entree for lunch, and the contents ends up being smaller than that of a Lean Cuisine or Healthy Choice.
- I hate the fact that apparently I’m the only person at work that has the expertise of changing a toilet paper roll. I’ve tested this theory several different ways on many occasions.
- I hate when a stranger 20+ years your elder brazenly uses their age as an excuse to advance ahead of you – and I’m not just talking about lines.
- I hate when a guy believes certain chores are not made for them to do.
- I hate when a guy postpones vacationing, even a simple 2-day beach trip – then suggests tagging along with his mother for the weekend on her trip.
- (Red flag)
- I hate when a guy suggests hopping on your cellphone plan, and you blog about how much that bothered you – then the next night he tells you he’s hopping on his mother’s plan.
- (Dark red flag)
- I hate when normal grooming habits are forgotten or ignored. Everyone I mean everyone knows how I feel about this. Enough said.
- I hate when an otherwise enjoyable trip to a local Japanese steakhouse is thwarted by patrons who believe your space should include their conversations and children.
- I hate when my financial situation is prejudged by another, as in “you should be doing okay now that your car is paid off”.
- I hate when people have trouble addressing a problem and end up just letting it go without confronting and/or attempting to fix it.
- This list will most definitely be continued at a later date. Until then… thank you, dear readers, for the unload.
Mellowing out
Although there have been multiple studies done that actually suggest the opposite – it’s my own experience that we get more emotional as we get older. I’m not talking about the more generalized emotions – being happy, angry, fearful, etc., but the more ‘philosophical’ ones. The types of emotions that tend to make a person ‘linger’ a bit more on the past, or ‘delve back’.
Is it true though? Do we get more emotional as we age? I can only comment on what I’ve seen personally, which is that I’ve seen more than a couple of mature men cry when reflecting back on certain times in their lives – in particular, times they wish they could go back and change. In each instance, the individuals appear different now than how I was told they used to be. Different how? It’s kind of hard to put into words. Softer-spoken, and rarely if ever angered – just to name a few.
What changes in us chemically as we get older that tends to make us more ’emotional’? And is it ever possible for a person to ‘change’? I don’t know the answer to the first question. As for the second one, I believe wholeheartedly the answer is yes. Maybe I’m wrong, but I consider being more emotional and ‘in-tune’ with yourself and others to be change. One thing I do know – the pill of regret is seldom swallowed. One of the saddest things you’ll ever see is a person reflecting back on losing the best thing they ever had in life.
Never can tell…
I’ve been thinking about the word unpredictable. To me it almost always preceeds an unfavorable outcome. Almost.
Unpredictable: Something difficult or impossible to foretell or foresee.
A drive in to work in the morning. I’m in the left lane, cruising along, not bothering a soul. Situated in a nice little flow of moving traffic who I like to term ‘dancing partners’. Everyone seems to know what they’re doing – almost. Enter car on the right that I’m getting ready to pass, just like all my other dancing partners just did… I see the impatience radiating from the car’s body. That slightest move left and quick jerk back right, ever so desiring to be in my position.
Unpredictable. Move on past ’em – quickly now.
How about that family member who all your other family members simply dread to be around. This person lives to create turmoil, speaks ill of you behind your back, and continually strives to be in the midst of controversy.
Unpredictable. Let’s keep on movin’.
I’m watering my many flowers, and along comes a large thirsty wasp like they so often do these days. Don’t even waste your time telling me ‘It’s okay, just don’t panic. Stand still and everything will be fine’. I’m outta there.
Go, quickly. Unpredictable.
Let’s say I’ve been out on the beach a few hours now, and it’s mid-afternoon. I take note of the darkening sky in the distance, and know what will probably be upon me soon – a thunderstorm. Or, maybe not.
Hey I’m at the beach, in this case I’m stayin’. Who cares if I get wet? 🙂
Photo Courtesy of http://campusedgeccu.wordpress.com/
Just some observances, and a little rant
I know opinions are like assholes – we all have one. I didn’t make that little ditty up, and it’s very true. But blogging forces out the best in me, as well as the worst. I’d like to I must share my opinion on the spoiled brat little dutch psychopath killer.
Urine vander Shit. And I did make that little ditty up.
Based on the facts I’ve already heard, and presumptions on the ones I haven’t – here’s a quick Bon-take on what really happened.
After meeting Holloway in the casino in Aruba that night, he slipped her a date-rape pill. (The same or similar to the evidence recently found in Flores’ car.) From that time to her death I can only speculate, but I’m all but convinced some sort of date-rape drug was used on Holloway, since that same speculation has already all but been proven on Flores. Note the way she was walking with her head down behind him – and from the video I perceived her to be swaying from side to side a bit more than she should.
He’s already admitted to Flores’ death. Everyone knows his daddy got him off with the lawyers on the Holloway case in Aruba – add to that the fact the Aruban police and officials totally mutilated the case. They handled the whole thing like the amateurs they are. I wouldn’t doubt the stress of all his son put the family through is what killed his father anyway.
I also believe there’s a strong possibility that there are others he killed. Now it comes out that his mere presence in Peru that enabled him to kill Flores was most likely caused by our own Feds funding to vander Shit for him to tour the world. Twenty-five grand, in fact. It’s the craziest thing I’ve ever heard in my life. The US was the Enabler. Plain and simple.
Once again I present to you – our government, at it’s best.
Raising Arizona
I’ve been reading up on Mexican president’s Felipe Calderon’s visit to the US. He’s been ripping on the new Arizona immigration laws, though what he doesn’t acknowledge is the fact that the new AZ laws are not so very different from Mexico’s own immigration laws.
Illegal immigrants in Mexico typically hail from Central America. Mexico has repeatedly been cited by human rights groups for abusing or turning a blind eye to the abuse of illegal immigrants – which has included physical abuse, rape and kidnappings. Mexican police did little to stop this, and were well-known to seek bribes from suspects who wanted to avoid jail.
Until recently, Mexican law made illegal immigration a criminal offense. Anyone arrested for such a violation could be fined, imprisoned for up to two years and deported. Mexican lawmakers changed that in 2008 to make illegal immigration a civil violation like it is currently in the US, but their law still reads an awful lot like Arizona’s.
“It is a law that not only ignores a reality that cannot be erased by decree but also introduces a terrible idea using racial profiling as a basis for law enforcement,” Calderon said. That smells funny to me. For one, AZ law specifically states several times throughout the bill that absolutely no racial profiling will be allowed. Secondly, Mexican law states that law enforcement officials are ‘required to demand that foreigners prove their legal presence in the country before attending to any issues’. Something also smells rank in the fact that Napolitano and Holder were among the first to blast the ammendments to AZ law, but had yet to actually read it. Have you read the new AZ senate bill? I have. Read here.
Dude… our first lady and YOUR first lady can’t even speak to a randomly-picked small group of second-graders without a little girl slipping the fact that her mother is here illegally. Watch video here.
I’ve said it a thousand times before – a spade is a spade is a spade. If I went to any of these countries – Iraq, Iran, Korea, Africa, Mexico, etc. – I would not only be tolerant of profiling, but would expect it. We are the only country I know of that doesn’t incorporate some sort of profiling in not only border security, but airport and homeland security as well. Get over the fear of offending someone already!! There’s no other countries out there worried about offending US!!
I received the following list in an email from my Dad, who informed me it seemed like blog material. I wholeheartedly agreed. Provided, of course, I could run with it. 😆
I must show ID when:
1. Pulled over by the police
2. Making purchases on my department store credit card.
3. When I show up for a doctor’s appointment.
4. When filling out a credit card or loan application.
5. When applying for/renewing a driver’s license or passport.
6. When applying for any kind of insurance.
7. When filling out college applications.
8. When donating blood.
9. When obtaining certain prescription drugs.
10. When making some debit purchases, especially if I’m out of state.
11. When collecting a boarding pass for airline or train travel.
12. To prove I’m of age for alcohol purchase or consumption.
I’m sure there are more instances but the point is, we citizens are required to prove who we are virtually every day.
Why should people illegally in this country be exempt? For that matter, perhaps the liberals here can answer the question as to why we shouldn’t guard our borders as closely as every other country in the world does?
ARIZONA, I’ve become a fan. Go Governer Brewer. You stand strong now….
Confidentially speaking
A Confidant: a close friend or associate to whom secrets are confided or with whom private matters and problems are discussed.
We all know one, most of us have one or two. They’re the best friend type. That seemingly loyal person you can always lean on in your time of need, since they seem to never tire of being that rock for you.
Unfortunately sometimes, hidden within that confidant exterior, therein lies a snake. The UNconfidant. This person can come in many varying shades and hues. They may be a family member. They could be someone from your social life. They may be someone you work with. You may or may not have been acquainted with this person for many years, them having earned your trust through a friendship or business association. Sometimes they hide behind religion or other sources.
The UNconfidant will work diligently to finagle information from you. He not only shares your private information freely with others, but will use it against you should it promise to further his own self. He will literally burn a streak in the carpet to reach the destination where he may begin wagging his tongue. Meanwhile, the source is clueless as to the intentions of the slithering UNconfidant.
Be careful, friends – this person may be right under your nose, much closer than you would ever think. The weak need them – the lonely yearn for them – and only the wise can spot them.
Just sittin’ on the outside, lookin’ in….
Crystal Blue Persuasion
Diamonds are formed from ugly rocks under great pressure. The pressures of life can cause us to transform into something strong and beautiful. As well, it can cause a complete and total meltdown of body, mind and soul.
I sit here with a glass of wine beside me, my cat by my side, lights dimmed. The flame of a candle dances near me. It’s nighttime and my body is preparing for sleep, though I don’t want to sleep just yet. I want to bask in the last night of my weekend freedom – and immerse myself in the peace the heavy rain in the background brings.
I don’t want to become me again until tomorrow.
I’m safe here.
Outside, it waits. This country I so loved and respected has been all but completely consumed by vile and contemptuous beings – who hide under the title of government. They are the beaks that slowly pick the last bit of meat from my ribs as I lie helpless, alone. And so, it waits. They wait. For me.
I hide.
I won’t think about the stress of life or the liars, the manipulators and the cheaters who lie in wait immediately outside my little sanctuary in the sky. The fresh smell of spring night air is still being ushered in from outside an open window. The rhythmic sound of the falling rain is my audio for the night – I need no other sound.
I will dwell on my endless blessings. I will drive into work tomorrow and apply myself wholeheartedly, still. I will forget about all the evil that has transpired in the course of my lifetime, leading up to this very moment in time.
I will embrace in myself that which cannot be stolen or lied to.
For now, here… I’m safe.
New Year, New Beginnings
2009 – a colorful year it’s been for me. In addition to my love for the ocean, there’s actually a hidden reason behind why I chose my particular banner picture, which I pasted a copy of below.
Color.
Those who know me know that my ‘word of the year’ chosen to represent 2008 was Monumental. 2008 was my year of change, a change that required an extreme strength and perseverance – the type of strength I thought never could exist in me. For this reason I believe the word Monumental to be ever so fitting for that year.
I find it just as fitting to associate the word Colorful with my year of 2009. In this little rainbow prismatic year of mine, I’ve basically created a complete series of making mistakes and learning from them. But never mind the mistakes I’ve made, or the repercussions from them – I still have to look back and smile, at all of it. I’ve come to realize how I’ve grown and have been made a better person now, by just having been associated with some new people that came in and out of my life.
I look at it this way. 2008, the last half of it anyway, started out as a shockwave. Fast-forward to sorrow, self-pity, and finally moving into that godforsaken lonely empty feeling. As I moved into 2009, the search was on. For what… I didn’t know. I was however reaching out for something, with arms wide open. I found that, like a butterfly who had just discovered her wings, the world was mine for the taking. The territory left unchartered was endless. So many opportunities, and so much lost time. Nope – the objects I landed on weren’t always in my best interest. I’ve taken much from these experiences though – through weathering the storms and learning some pretty hard lessons. I’ve found that it’s how we react and learn from our mistakes that will determine our success in life, or lack of it.
Hmm. Can’t help but wonder what my word of 2010 will be.
Banner picture for 2009
Life of Bon 
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