A Letter to my 16 year-old Self:
Some time ago, I entertained the notion of writing a letter to one’s 16 year-old self. After posting the idea, it felt overwhelming to me. Every time I’d try to start it, I’d freeze up at the very beginning. A few months went by, and it bothered me that I’d abandoned my proposed ‘project’. It’s not supposed to be a toil, I thought – there’s no right or wrong way of doing it. Some write this letter as a suggestion to change or reroute certain life events – I choose not to do this, but instead to write it as a softened forecast of sorts. As raw as it may be, here it is.
Dear Bonnie,
I know you aren’t really concerned with anything but partying and having a good time right now. I’m going to ask, if I may, for just ten minutes of your undivided attention without you creating an argument as to why.
Your decision to hang with the ‘cool crowd’ will end up being your demise in school. You’ve traded in your good grades and standards of behavior for a poor attempt at coolness. I see how much you’ve changed from age fifteen to sixteen – so much so that it makes your own head spin to think about it. You hate thinking about it as well – so you reach for those funny cigarettes and a bit of alcohol here and there in order to push the ugly truth further from your head. What you don’t realize, my dear, is that these seemingly simple substances will evolve into a larger abuse more destructive than you’re able to maintain control of. Your downward spiral has only just begun.
Just around the corner, self-destruction awaits you. Over the next few years you’ll continue to feed this destruction, justifying it as ‘having a good time’. There are people in your life who struggle to make you realize what you’re doing to yourself. Your mother, your father, your ever-wise grandmother. Why won’t you ever give them a chance, just open up your mind for once and listen? Newsflash – they really do know what they’re talking about. Years later, your eyes will well up as you wish for this time to be rolled backwards in order to make different choices. Better choices. Trust me on this – though right now, I know you won’t. In later years, you’ll be happy to know that you were one of the ‘lucky ones’ instead of another statistic. I want you to realize how very fortunate you will be to not become a statistic.
Getting pregnant at nineteen years old will not be the end of your world, although you and a few others think so at the time. You will have a little girl who will, in fact, end up being the shining sun of your universe. Do take a little more time and make the memories count… this will be the only child in life that God will entrust in your care. Slow down, savor every minute, every second. Laugh more… a LOT more. Know that your daughter will be successful in life, and will make you and her father extremely proud.
Your daughter’s father. The man you’ve known for a year prior will become your husband just a mere week after you find out you are with child. True, your childhood fairytale dream of getting married and having babies will happen quite backwards. Just like the absence of a real wedding or even a real proposal – you will find many things around this era to be very different than what you dreamed of as a young girl. Do know that you and your husband will have a very loving life together and create many wonderful memories as a family – as well as share hardships. Always remember that life is a constant change of events. In just a few short years, you will actually go to college to learn a new trade in graphic arts, and your employer will fund this tuition. So hold tight and make do with those hardships – it’ll all be worth it.
Oh, if only I could forewarn and perhaps prepare you for the largest and most difficult event in your life so far. Many years down the road, you will find yourself starting completely over from scratch. You will need to learn to live alone, to survive alone, and support yourself – for the very first time in your adult life. You will learn what heartache and heartbreak really is. You must learn this all yourself, as no amount of prep work or advice will guide you through it. If there is one thing I may ask of you for the future, it would be this… remember your own self-worth. Don’t consider your own happiness an extravagance. It’s not.
Your future lies completely in your hands, and in the decisions you make. Learn quickly that your decisions really do impact your future, of who you ultimately become. And guess what? We’re not finished growing yet.
November
Today has all the makings of a Monday. What better day to start a new month? Alarm clock sounds at 5 am. My bleary-eyed kitty hops on the sink for a drink before I have the chance to gargle and brush. A lonely drive in to work in the overwhelming darkness (go away, daylight savings time). The familiarity of pulling into my comfortable little parking space at work. Deeeep breath.
It was such a wonderful weekend. We drove up to the mountains, in a different area than we normally visit. Near Brevard, NC there’s a town called Linville Falls. With not enough time left in the day to make the trails to the Falls, K suggested the Linville Caverns. I had never been in the Caverns before, it was pretty neat. Of course, we had to hit Woodlands BBQ before we headed home. 🙂
U.S. National Whitewater Center is actually an olympic training facility in Charlotte, NC that I’d never been to in all the years it’s been there. The cool thing about it is there’s a flat fee of five bucks to park – then there’s acres and acres of trails to your liking. We opted for the easy mile track around the ‘river’. Got three miles in, not too shabby! There’s lots of interesting scenery to be had here, unlike my monotonous (yawn) treadmill.
I’d been itching to see Shawshank Redemption again (awesome movie). Although I know many parts of it by heart, I never tire of seeing this flick. Keith built a fire beforehand, I had a nice glass of wine and Camille took her place in front of it.
Yesterday we washed the cars and put a nice winter coat of wax on mine. As I came down the steps this morning, even in the dark ole’ Betsy gleamed to perfection…
I never want the weekends to end, but life must continue on. All packed up and back to reality. Blessings to all for a great week!
Just me
As I gaze out at the ocean this morning waiting for the sun to rise (wish I were there…gotta love those webcams) I once again find myself analyzing me. Go away, overanalyzer. I force my thoughts elsewhere, as the analyzer diligently struggles to return.
Thought you all might enjoy a few snaps of the sunrise over the sunrise over the Atlantic this morning, taken off the South Carolina Coastline. Live webcam can be found here, and the snapshots I took below are courtesy of.
Simply breathtaking.
Real beauty comes from within.
The world always looks brighter from behind a smile. So smile! Besides, the sunshine is good for your teeth.
The spaces between your fingers were created so that another’s could fill them in.
I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level and then beat you with their experience.
Although rare – once in a while, in the middle of an ordinary life… love gives us a fairy tale.
Chip dipper
About two and a half years ago, I lost twenty pounds. I found that success really can be achieved the good old-fashioned way – via eating healthy and exercising my tail off. I worked extremely hard for every pound, and kept it off for a year. I felt better than I ever had felt before – my blood pressure had leveled out and I was even trying to talk my doctor into weaning me off the beta blocker I’ve been on since age 32. Over the past year and a half, I’ve gained twenty five pounds (there should be a heavy black font for that because the bold one just doesn’t cut it). Twenty-five pounds. That’s the equivalent of ‘all that and a bag o’ chips’. No excuses.
Once again, I’ve taken on the difficult task of eating right and exercising – although it’s taken me twenty-five pounds to get to this point. What makes it so difficult to re-acquire that motivation, and why did I lose it in the first place? Anyway, I think I might’ve found it again and only hope it isn’t temporary. I dusted the cobwebs off my treadmill and have since put a couple of miles on it. I weighed in early this morning and was happy to see that I’ve lost two pounds – yay me! Now to just keep it going. I’ve done this once – but something in me relaxed, or something… exercising came to an abrupt halt and my eating habits turned from healthy to down right horrible. Failing so miserably in my endeavor makes me feel awful about myself. I’ve simply GOT to be successful at this, and keep it off this time.
The keys for me are a) weekend management and b) not feeling cheated. If I feel cheated, I’ve proven time and again that I’ll rebel. This is actually the perfect time of year to head to the mountains for a hike… hey, great idea. We survived last nights tornadic storms, and the forecast for the weekend looks optimal…
Honorable mention
I had a meaningful conversation with a coworker this morning. This guy is good as gold – case in point, he initially came in offering a bunch of cans of Progresso soup that he’d gotten in a terrific sale for a buck each. I’m thinking he must’ve bought the entire store out yesterday. I jokingly told him that with the fifty dollars worth he brought in this morning alone, his trunk must’ve been dragging the asphalt! After work today, he’s going back to buy more, and he’s planning to stock it here for other’s lunches that might be without.
While in the kitchen fixing up the morning caffeine, he talked about his kids and how they were doing in school, and how hard math was for his son. He asked if my daughter was my only one and I told him yes. He asked if it was hard for me and my husband while she was in school, when she started dating, etc., to which I replied extremely – but that I had tremendous respect for others like his self who had two and three kids in school simultaneously. Looking back on that time in life, I guess we had it pretty easy.
He asked me how long I’d been married and that it must have been hard for it to end. I agreed and said it was the absolute hardest thing EVER. That it’s easy for someone to say they understand – but it’s a pain that can only be understood by someone who has been through it their own self. That I used to be that person on the other side, saying I understood. That I’m ashamed of the fact I used to think ‘gosh, why don’t they snap out of it already?’. That because you left doesn’t always mean you wanted it to end. That it can take literally years of work to get through it. That if you were truly emotionally invested in a long-term marriage, then working through the ending of it probably will take years.
After hearing all this, he was probably sorry he’d even asked. But he always has been a good listener. 🙂
In the years we’ve all known him here, it’s always been obvious how much this guy loves his family – his wife and kids are his world. When he speaks of his wife, he does so with a gleam in his eye. The level of appreciation and respect they have together is very apparent. As we started back to work, I told him to never lose that love and respect – to hold on to it… cherish it. To which he replied with a smile, ‘I tell my wife I love her ten times a day, or more. I won’t lose it.’ Hearing that put a smile on my face the whole walk back to my desk.
Tick-tock
I’ve always been told time goes by faster the older you get. The older I get, the more true this saying becomes. Time is going by so fast now, it’s making my head spin. In the midst of wishing the weeks away in hopes for Friday and the weekends arrival, this subject’s obviously weighing heavy on my mind this morning.
I remember back in the late eighties, when my daughter was just a baby. I’d gaze at her and wish I could foresee what she would look like, who she would become. I would think ahead to the turn of the new millennium, and stand in amazement of how old I would be – the ripe old age of 32. I wondered what I would look like then, how I would’ve aged, and how others would perceive me at that time. That time got here extremely fast.
Since then, another decade has passed. It’s been almost that whole decade ago since the worst terror attack our country ever experienced. To me, it just doesn’t seem real that we’re going on the ten-year mark of that catastrophic event.
Just why is it that the speed of time increases as you get older? It always takes me back to the prophecies of Daniel, ones that my dear grandmother used to quote to me very often – particularly this one.
Daniel 12:4
But thou, O Daniel, shut up the words, and seal the book, even to the time of the end: many shall run to and fro, and knowledge shall be increased.
God told Daniel after giving him some of the most remarkable prophecies found in the Bible, to ‘Shut up the words and seal the book, until the time of the end’. He then gives Daniel two signs that would help us identify ‘the time of the end’.
1) The ability to travel from one place to another would be unlike anything seen before in history.
2)And knowledge would increase at a rate… and to a point… unlike any time in history.
We don’t need to look very far to see both of these prophecies have been, and are still being, fulfilled. Makes perfect sense to me.
Blue Skies and Butterflies
I ran across this story while browsing yesterday, and found it more than worthy of reposting.
A man found a cocoon of a butterfly. One day, a small opening appeared. He sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through that little hole. Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could, and it could go no further.
So the man decided to help the butterfly. He took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily. But it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings. The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in time.
Neither happened! In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings. It never was able to fly. What the man, in both his kindness and haste, did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening were God’s way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.
Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our lives. If God allowed us to go through our lives without any obstacles, it would cripple us. We would not be as strong as what we could have been. We could never fly!
~Author Unknown
I asked for Strength………
And God gave me Difficulties to make me strong.
I asked for Wisdom………
And God gave me Problems to solve.
I asked for Prosperity………
And God gave me Brain and Brawn to work.
I asked for Courage………
And God gave me Danger to overcome.
I asked for Love………
And God gave me Troubled people to help.
I asked for Favors………
And God gave me Opportunities.
I received nothing I wanted ……..
I received everything I needed!
Questions, always
In this day and age I continuously wonder how much shock value I have left in me when it comes to news of violence and crime, especially within the family. Oh, to heck with the shock value – what about the age-old question… why.
Just why.
The latest murder-suicide combo in Gastonia – a husband and wife who were upstanding citizens of the community and were well-known for helping people in need. She was a cheerleading coach and teacher, he was a county building inspector who helped out and volunteered at the school with his wife. Friends, teachers, and students alike loved and respected them both. They also had children, though the news didn’t list their ages.
Just what is it that makes the human brain snap? Is it a split-second occurrence, is it something that’s carefully calculated… are the consequences even considered? Is a chemically-imbalanced person even able to conceive of the repercussions of their actions? Did these family members used to sit around and have conversations about this kind of violence and how awful it is, thinking nothing like that could ever happen to them?
I just don’t get it. I guess we’re not meant to get it.
So long, Burt
It was backed up to his apartment when I got home from work Friday afternoon – a U-Haul truck of about mid-sized length. Burt was moving out.
Burt is a nice gentleman that I met shortly after I moved here back in Spring of 2008. I have to admit I was a bit intimidated upon first impression. His clean-shaven head and tattoos up around his neck definitely had me on my guard. I’ve always tried to be non-judgmental, but admittedly there are times when I allow first impressions to put that gate up, albeit temporarily. This seemed especially so upon starting over – I had trouble trusting anyone.
Burt would always be the one in the parking lot helping another resident do something – moving, working on a car, etc. Everyone knew him by first name, and he knew everyone else’s name as well. We used to have a handicapped neighbor who resided here for years that Burt was always helping out in some way. I’d just gotten home from work one day last summer when he walked over and told me our neighbor had passed away that morning. It was obviously emotional for him.
The office staff where I live took in three full grown cats abandoned by former tenants, and paid for their care, spay/neutering and shots. They then had the task of finding them homes. They decided to keep the last one (Mr. Whiskers) as their very own in the office – and trust me, this cat has it very good. One of the other adoptive parents? Burt.
As I walked over Friday to tell him goodbye, it appeared that the move itself was emotional for him. “I’m moving back to the beach where my girlfriend lives. I don’t know… guess this whole thing makes me vulnerable again”. It kind of hit home when he said that. Committing your self wholly to your relationship – giving up your own place to live, many of your belongings, furniture – your own home that you worked so hard to build – feeling as though you’re losing, in a sense, your very own identity. I quickly shook off the Ally McBeal psycho-flash I’d just had, and told him the first thing that came to my mind. “Nothing worth having is without risk. Go for it.”
You truly were a staple of the community, Burt. Good luck – and God speed.
Choices
In this game of life, there are some things which we have control over, and some we don’t. We can choose to be kind and compassionate to people, or we can be nasty and vile. We can choose to help our neighbors, or we can hinder or block the good deeds of others. We can choose to ‘do the right thing’ – or we can attempt to break those around us.
So how do you handle a miserable existence of an individual who is so delusionally obsessed over your life and that of your loved one, that it’s become their sole objective to infiltrate it in any way possible? An individual who recruits their own family members and friends to aid in their own juvenile schemes? An individual who is greatly influencing their child with their deception and lack of moral character? I believe that this lone corrupt individual must be left to bask in their own self-destruction. I choose to neither feed nor lend energy to this hateful, dark, putrid excuse for a human being.
Because some things never change.
So I’ll tell you how I handle it. I choose happiness. My drama cup shall remain empty. I’ve made it this far, and believe me when I say I ain’t going back. I choose that bright light that our Lord promises and provides, free of charge – for any of us who are willing to receive it.
Update 2
As of last night, Dad’s surgery is supposed to take place some time today. He’s been hospitalized again ever since last Thursday after a brief night of hell at home. I’m hoping they can go ahead and get this thing taken care of so he can get back home, recover, and go back to living his life. He told me last night that he knows this whole thing has been a mess – to which I replied it certainly isn’t his fault. That’s the kind of man he is though, always worried about inconveniencing others.
My aunt (Dad’s sister) is on her way up to Durham this morning to be with him post-surgery and get him back home, as he could be released as soon as tomorrow. I always feel like they release you too soon. Now I know I’m no doctor, but I’ve seen this happen far too many times to even count. People being released that can’t even walk, change their dressing, etc. – sometimes resulting in even more emergency care. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out it’s all about insurance and the money part. In any case, my thoughts and prayers will be with him today and I’ll be sure to give an update as soon as I know something!
Everyone here has been so kind with your thoughts and prayers, and I want you to know it means the world to me – and to Dad. 🙂
God Bless the Broken Road
I heard it again on the way to work the other morning. It’s been a favorite song of mine for a little over a year now – admittedly about how long I’ve been listening to country music.
I often wonder just how many individuals this song has affected in a positive way. A good friend of mine got married last month, and her wedding theme was based around the song. The lyrics never cease to captivate me. When life was at it’s bleakest, out of the darkness came something along the lines of a northern star… pointing me down exactly the right path, and into the arms of that special someone. The various stumbles and falls along my path were actually paving the way for another another chance at life – and at love.
I’ve always believed there is a reason for everything. We many not understand our troubles at the given time, but God is so good. He knows our hearts, our hurts, every tiny little piece of us. He will provide, if only we will place our trust completely in Him.
I set out on a narrow way, many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn’t see how every sign pointed straight to you
Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
Yes He did
I think about the years I spent, just passing through
I’d like to have the time I lost, and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You’ve been there, you understand
It’s all part of a grander plan that is coming true
Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
But now I’m just rolling home into my lover’s arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
Daisy Chain
The following is actually from a little over a year ago, before my blogging days. I did not write the words, but over a fair amount of time did do the compilation – written from a variety of beloved sources and wise souls. I remember at the time, I was in a sense lost – feeling alone and blissfully unaware of my own purpose in life. My arrival at this point came from a failed 21-year marriage and the quest to ‘find myself’. I was comforted by the wise words, and found myself ever-searching of them.
Running across it brought back memories of being truly alone. Of the endless search for wisdom – of knowledge of who was fake and who was authentic; and the hopeful ability to discern the difference. I’m not changing any of the content, nor the order… and I do realize it’s scattered. But at the time, so was I.
______________________________________________________________________________
My best dreams and worst nightmares have the same people in them.
What is more the benefit? To love a person that is already loved by everyone, or to love a person that is rejected by everyone?
Hugging is healthy. It helps the immune system, cures depression, reduces stress, and induces sleep. It’s invigorating, rejuvenating & has no unpleasant side effects. It’s nothing less than a miracle drug. Hugging is all natural. It’s organic, naturally sweet, has no artificial ingredients, environmentally friendly & is 100% wholesome. Hugging is the ideal gift. Great for any occasion, fun to give & receive, shows you care, comes with its own wrapping paper and, of course, is fully returnable.
I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.
We wait all these years to find someone who understands us… someone who accepts us as we are… someone with a wizard’s power to melt stone to sunlight… that can bring us happiness in spite of trials… that can face our dragons in the night… who can transform us into the soul we choose to be. Just yesterday I found that magical someone is the face we see in the mirror: It’s us and our homemade masks.
Happiness needs sadness. Success needs failure. Benevolence needs evil. Love needs hatred. Victory needs defeat. Pleasure needs pain.
You must experience and accept the extremes. Because if the contrast is lost, you lose appreciation; and when you lose appreciation, you lose the value of everything.
Of the Seven Deadly Sins, anger is possibly the most fun. To lick your wounds, to smack your lips over grievances long past, to roll over your tongue the prospect of bitter confrontations still to come, to savor to the last toothsome morsel of both the pain you are given and the pain you are giving back – in many ways it is a feast fit for a king. The chief drawback is that what you are wolfing down is yourself. The skeleton at the feast is you.
Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
Forgiveness does not overlook the deed. It rises above it.
It always amazes me to see people making a decision to never forgive. It’s like trying to punish their tormentors by harming themselves. In the long run, it’s not a question of whether they deserve to be forgiven. You’re not forgiving them for their sake. You’re doing it for yourself. For your own health and well being, forgiveness is simply the most energy-efficient option. It frees you from the incredibly toxic, debilitating drain of holding a grudge. Don’t let these people live rent free in your head. If they hurt you before, why let them keep doing it year after year in your mind? It’s not worth it but it takes heart effort to stop it. You can muster that heart power to forgive them as a way of looking out for yourself. It’s one thing you can be totally selfish about.
I’ve always heard to live everyday as if it was your last. I disagree. I think you should live everyday as if it was your first, where everything is new and exciting. You try new things, and you’re not waiting for your life to end – you’re waiting for it to begin.
Your friends are your release. They’re who you have the most fun with, and yet when the going gets tough, those people turn around and suddenly they’re not just making you laugh, they’re being this rock and giving you all their advice. Even though you’re so much your own person, if you dissect yourself, I guarantee you, your friends are in there. Their influence is incredible. However rare true love may be, it is less so than true friendship.
You’ll never know how much you needed your friends until you look back along the rope and realize how many knots they tied to keep you from Falling. I don’t want someone to catch me when I fall; I want someone to stop me before I do.
Someday someone might come into your life and love you the way you’ve always wanted. If your someday was yesterday, learn. If your someday is tomorrow, hope. If your someday is today, cherish.
Walking away isn’t the hard part – it’s not looking back.
Tears are words the heart can’t say.
I tried to conquer the Universe, but it defeated me.
I tried to capture the Universe, but it eluded me.
I tried to understand the Universe, but it outwitted me.
So, clumsily, hesitantly, I tried to love the Universe,
And it embraced me.
Does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the state of Washington? And, they tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.
Sooner or later you have to make a choice…leave behind your passion, your dreams – or have the strength to look past all discouraging faces and look at yourself and know that you have what it takes… and you will prove them wrong.
To love requires courage, the ability to take a risk, the readiness even to accept pain and disappointment. Whoever insists on safety and security as primary conditions of life cannot love; whoever shuts himself off in a system of defense and possession as his means of security, makes himself a prisoner.
Never assume greatness is for someone else. Imagine every day that you too can do great things. Have the courage to take the challenge, make the mistakes, and move forward. Who knows, maybe one day someone will be sharing your moment with you.
The Truth
I just noticed my daughter’s latest facebook status update. It reads, “When at night you cannot sleep, talk to the Shepherd and stop counting sheep.” Truth.
My boyfriend made me a bracelet this weekend. I watched closely as he carefully color-coordinated bead by bead on a strong leather strand. As he tied it on my arm I told him, “This is my love bracelet.” Truth.
Now I’m gonna dive deep. What is a simple definition of Truth, really… a verified fact? Conformity to reality or actuality? Sincerity… integrity? A fact, a proof?
Most of us have known one or more persons in our life that have issues with honesty, or have problems telling the truth. The ones that really get me, though, are those who are blatantly caught at something and can still look you right in the eye and lie about it – even when facts are presented.
For some reason, it always brings to mind one of my all-time favorite comedic skits. A woman confronts her man over questions of infidelity, and the man vehemently denies any wrong-doing even though he’s caught red-handed. Click here for a look… this is hilarious in a raw kinda way.
Hey…. wadn’t me….
If only everyone just knew how much the truth really means, of all it’s able to accomplish for us. That when used, it can overcome so many negative feelings or emotions. Being honest makes people trust you, respect you. It brings about a heightened sense of security in a relationship, and strengthens each of you in many different ways. When you tell a loved one the truth, it’s actually saying ‘you are precious to me and worthy of complete knowledge’.
The way I see it, the general consensus wins. Once a liar, always a liar. In my forty-two years, I’ve personally never witnessed a huge changeover in a person who has issues with being honest. That’s unfortunate, not only for them but for the persons involved with them.
The Truth. Will. Set. You. Free. Seriously? Well, yeah – I believe it will. Put it this way… I’d rather hear the truth any old day than some sugar-coat of a fakeness. It may not always be something I want to hear…. but I want to hear it nonetheless. Now I know I can’t change the world, I quit trying a long time ago. It does make for a nice dream though…
One of three
Any weekend with an extra day thrown in there for good measure is an awesomely happy one for me, holiday or no holiday. Originally planned was a mountain trip, but we opted to stay off the roads this labor day a) because of the traffic and huge crowds labor day always brings, be it mountains or beaches, and b) the pickings were really slim seeing how we’d waited-last minute to look for a place. We were gonna have to settle, and neither of us liked the thought of that. Instead, I packed up myself and kittycat Camille and headed over to K’s for the long weekend.
The top thing on my to-do list was wash my car, she’d not been washed since Spring. I know I know, that’s awful. She literally was the worst I’ve ever let her get. We started on her about 10:30 this morning, and just finished up about one this afternoon. Gave her the super-special lowdown… inside and out, buffed headlights, vacuumed, cleaned out glovebox, cleaned out trunk, detail detail detail… you get the idea.
Towards the end of what we lovingly call ‘the fruits of our loins’… I’m thinking this baby now looks good enough to take for a trade-in. Nah, I’ll keep my sweet little paid-off ’04 a while longer. She’s been extremely good to me, and I recognize that for what it is. Why, just the other day she told me she’s in it for the long haul – and Good Lord willing, I’ll be right there with her. Now, that’s what I call ‘owner loyalty’. 😉
Ever hear someone talk about how their car even runs better when it’s clean? Well, it’s true… try it and see!
How Does Home Feel?
I’ll tell you how home feels to me tonight.
A couple of tasty hotdogs with coleslaw and ketchup for din-din (courtesy Chef Bon). Yes, my stove is now fixed, but as Murphy’s Law dictates – now I crave microwaved foods again instead.
Walking around in my mega-soft long-sleeved tee over shorts, I am so comfy. It’s both warm and cool… perfect. I’m freshly bathed, dried off and smelling delicious… and I can say that I am very thankful. Thankful for the peace and solitude – and the fact that no one bothers me here.
Gazing from atop the front porch down three floors below, I take note of the most majestic of Crepe Myrtles I have ever seen. I’ve always loved Crepe Myrtles, but the branches of these reach inward towards me all the way up through my third-level stairwell and porch. It’s a rare time when I’m able to resist the urge to touch their branches and flowers… how I will miss their beauty in the winter months.
Time in a bottle
As I glanced at the calendar this morning, a wave of nostalgia hit me. Twenty-three years ago today, I got married. My first and only time.
Everything in life happens for a reason. It is true that time tends to change things. People change, and grow, in different ways – sometimes in two completely opposite directions. The product of that union is a wonderful young woman. A woman who has set out to enrich the world with her beauty, charisma, honesty, knowledge, love of God, and heart of gold.
Her name is Julia Christine, and I thank God every day for her. She is by far the biggest blessing ever bestowed upon me – and I’m sure her father feels the same way.
Instead of dwelling on how long the storm lasted… remember how good the breeze from it felt. ~BM
Thoughts on a letter to one’s self
I was perusing around in freshly pressed and found a post that was mega-intriguing. This blogger submitted an excellent post (and a few of her other friends have followed suit) titled ‘A Letter to my 16-year-old Self’. She calls the idea simul-blogging, in which the topic is laid on the table, and those interested will semi-simultaneously post on that same topic. Now, as nostalgic as the old Bonster is, you can rest assured that I’m not gonna be able to leave this little diddy just sitting there. With that said, my next dilemma lies in whether or not I can bridge such a large age gap from the present all the way back to sixteen. After all, these ladies only have to go back 10 years or so with their letter – whereas if I go back in time to age sixteen it’ll be more like (oh crap where’s my calculator) I’d likely need a time-machine. In all seriousness though, I’d be going back twenty-six years.
Actually… I think that’s doable. In fact, maybe it’ll put a little different spin on things since there’s so much post-sixteen to write about. Hmmm. The more I think about it – I like it, and the fact that I have a few years under my belt that I may now use as ‘material’. Yeah.
Buckle your seatbelts, boys and girls – this could be a bumpy ride.
Check out Katie’s post above – it’s a fabulous one and very deserving of freshly pressed status. Any of you out there interested in giving this a whirl?
Home Sweet Home
Anyone else out there ready for fall? I mean, I would like another trip to the beach before it gets cold, but aside from that I’m ready for that orange and red hue. The feel of a cool mountain breeze. To have back the kind of weather that warrants pants (or capris) but you can still don the flip-flops in. The tank top under a sweatjacket weather – yeah. And, I wanna see pumpkins.
We all joined forces yesterday to get K’s Mom moved into her new house. The house suits her perfectly and she is so happy. K might not be aware of how very similar mine and his mother’s lives are, as far as many details of our past life and starting over from scratch. Whenever it’s just the two of us, such as yesterday when her and I drove out to the house together, the conversation always drifts over to our past life – and how very thankful we are to have a second chance at being happy.
Today I am so very sore in muscles I didn’t even know I had. That’s the way it always seems to go whenever you move! The thing that feels best right now is to fist-beat my calves at medium strength. I know – epsom salt. So I’ll definitely look forward to that later, combined of course with a tub of water, candles and a nice glass of wine. ‘Cause that’s how I roll. 🙂
Life of Bon 
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