The subject always heats me up in a bad way. Each time I try to write about it I end up backspacing, deleting, rewriting – and guess what? I still end up all over the place. This is sure to be no exception.
A guy I know is going through a rough time. Upon recently learning of his wife’s affair with a co-worker, he confronted her on it. She pledged to ‘end’ it, but obviously didn’t. Long story short, he left her this past weekend.
My curse of thinking too much strikes again, as question after question invades my thoughts. Even if she had ‘ended it’ like she promised, could she really have continued working with the ex-lover? And if so, could my friend have slept well at night knowing the two were still ‘together’, albeit on the job?
Welcome to today’s world where the females are definitely giving the males a run for their money on this issue. At the risk of sounding crude… I’ve gotta go there. Why can’t these people keep their pants on? Can an hour of pleasure really be worth destroying the life of your spouse and/or children? Does your stomach not twist up in worry and angst over what you’ve done – or at least from fear of getting caught? And are ya really gonna trust someone you cheated with not to do the same to you later?
Don’t get me wrong – I absolutely do have great respect for those who’ve been able to get past an affair and ultimately save their marriage. I just can’t imagine many cases turning out like that.
I’ve heard the words reason or exception thrown around, I say SAVE IT. No reasons or exceptions matter to me in this most tender area. Yes I have an assload of sins myself, but infidelity isn’t in that huge pile and it never will be. I know some might call my views one-sided, and maybe they are – but they’re mine. Infidelity within a marriage is a certain removal of trust – the most personal betrayal – a definite stab in the heart. Who knows what goes on in a cheater’s head – I’m just unable to rationalize it in any way shape or form.
Instant Karma (okay, maybe it wasn’t INSTANT…)
♫♪ Instant Karma’s gonna get you –
Gonna look you right in the face
Better get yourself together darlin’
and join the human race…
Greedy greedy greedy. My oh my – this world could use so much less of the word greed, couldn’t it? But such is the age we’re currently living in, and honestly I don’t see any improvement in store for the near future.
Once in a while, the good guy actually DOES win. Once in a very small while, we get to witness Karma come back around and bite hard a person in the ass who has so totally asked for it.
An example, you ask? I’m sure I can find one lying low around here somewhere… yes, I’ve got it. How about a lying cheat of an ex who for years tried so very hard to ruin a man’s life and everything good within it, up to and including keeping his daughter from him?
For this post – I shall refer to the individual as lowlife.
No truth can come from lowlife’s putrid mouth, for truth must first exist in order to pass through parted lips. History tells of lowlife’s many infidelities, to which the knob is still set on ‘repeat’. Concerning her own
destructive self-destructive antics, lowlife reassigns any and all blame to her ex. I look at it this way… if you’re going to be conniving, at least be good at it. Her transparent lies were easily read by the most high of courts, who awarded lowlife with nothing.
Nada. Zilch. Zip. Zero. OH WAIT – it’s actually much less than nothing, seeing as how lowlife was grabbing for the entire universe. Can’t forget about those costly attorney fees that belong solely to her now, not to mention that expensive appeal. I have heard those things aren’t cheap nowadays! Is there such a thing as double-ought? If there wasn’t before, there is now. Well that’s just gotta plain suck…
The most insincere of congratulations go out to lowlife for all her non-valiant efforts on a job not well done. My advice to lowlife now would be to invest in a broom (no, not to ride) and dustpan with which to begin cleaning all the droppings she’s left behind, as well as many more she’s sure to excrete in the future. Because a respectable person always cleans up their mess.
Let us not forget the old but wise quote, ‘One man’s trash is another man’s treasure’. Or woman’s, as the case may be. Hey, speaking of universe… I’m outta here to go see the shining sun of mine. 🙂
Well we all shine on…
Like the moon and the stars and the sun
Yeah we all shine on
On and on and on and on… ♪♫
Venus and Mars, perspectively
It’s the century-old question. Can men and women have a happy healthy relationship along with having a close friend(s) of the opposite sex? And remain friends, notwithstanding an affair? How about if that ‘friend’ existed before you came along, and you’ve always noticed or ‘felt’ this closeness between the two of them?
There are boatloads of opinions out there on this. Instead of a theological approach on the subject, I’m instead opting to provide you with my very own raw opinion. A Bon-view, as I like to call it. This ain’t gonna be pretty… could even get messy – might be a good idea to go ahead and don those rubber gloves from underneath your kitchen sink.
All joking aside, most man-moves can, are, and will forever be excused in the fact that they are men. I’ve grown not only to expect this, but to accept it as a fact of life.
Now, onto what I’ve learned.
Virtually any area of infidelity is contingent upon the type of woman that is playing along.
That’s right, I just said it. I believe the woman to be the deciding factor in whether an infidelity is to occur in a relationship, whether she’s the relationshipee or the outsider. Folks I’ve seen it, I’ve lived it… it’s a fact. And I seriously beg a debate.
Ladies… have you any wonder about the woman your man speaks so eloquently of, whether or not they were ‘friends’ before you came along? You’d damn well better have. Men… how about that guy friend of your girlfriend’s that she’ll meet for lunch from time to time, talk with on the phone, etc.? Is it really platonic? True enough, it could be platonic in both cases. The end result, though, will be determined by **none other than** the woman’s own moral convictions and willpower.
So by now am I sounding like a paranoid schizophrenic? Okay, I’ll give you that. The paranoid schiz in me was instilled by another, and it’s a daily struggle to keep that part of me buried. Maybe I arrived that way after realizing there will always be certain women out there that need the attention so badly they’ll resort to anything – including infiltration of a known relationship, be it marriage or other. The attention whore, for lack of a better word. Believe me ladies, when I tell you they are out there. Worse yet? They could be the very one that you perceive to be a good friend. Having been on the receiving end of the infidelity stick, I can tell you it’s humiliating and mentally draining – to say the very least.
So to wrap up my little rant for the day, in short – this is what I believe… and this is what I’ve lived. I want so very badly to protect myself in the future from this very damaging act. But just what is the answer? I realize that trust should be the key. Keyword, should.
Ladies, back to you…