I guess I need to see a doctor about getting on a regular sleep-aid or something. Insomnia drives me crazy some nights, where I’m up for hours just lying there. During these times my brain goes into a sort of activity overload where I’m thinking of anything, everything, and all things in-between. I’ll even ‘create’ scenarios rectifying other scenarios – as crazy as I know this sounds. My best friend and I have discussed this and I take solace in the fact that she does it too, so there’s probably more than the two of us out there.
Sometimes I hate dreams… sometimes I love them. Last night I just desperately wanted to escape it. I’m convinced the dream I woke from is what initiated the insomnia last night and into this morning. I abhor such dreams, because they represent my deepest and darkest fear – our own homeland security.
All but a few fragments of our Pentagon had been destroyed by terrorists. To no one’s surprise, the weapon used for the destruction was two planes. For some reason I was just learning of the attack the following day, and people were shocked I didn’t know. In describing it to me, I got a play-by-play ‘visual’ of the attack by others – in other words, it was like they put me back in time for it and I witnessed from above what the officials did and how they reacted.
Apparently they had five minutes knowledge that the planes were coming. I was positioned in a birds-eye view from overhead and watched them go into action – desperately moving delicate equipment, all containing material of a most sensitive nature. Our nation’s STUFF. To see these people, roughly one hundred, take that kind of action was unbelievable. I know it was a dream, and this isn’t how it would really transpire – but they were all moving so fast and in sync, it was nothing short of amazing. There was so much equipment that I kept thinking ‘no way will they ever get it all done’. I watched what resembled worker ants move at light speed until I saw a huge flash of light and the disintegration was apparent. In my dream, there were over one hundred lives lost. Our nation’s internet protocol immediately went into lockdown so there was no way of accessing anything online. The entire country was in complete chaos. The dream ended there.
It’s no wonder that I was up for hours after this dream. This dream won’t come as any shock to those who know me, who know how I feel about 9/11 and that it’s pretty much fallen by the wayside in terms of remembrance. It’s not fallen by the wayside for me, and never will. There is not one single day I don’t think about that most fateful day in our nation’s history. Not one day. I’ve said it many times before, I’d rather have nightmares about that day every night of my life than to let it fade even slightly from my memory. And I still mean that.