To each his own. To me my own.

Visit from beyond

I was ushered in through the foyer, past the living room and down the hallway. The doorknob to the right was turned, and the door opened for me to enter the room.

Their room.

The room itself was bigger than I remember, and had a radiant, almost heavenly look about it. I immediately noticed that it was cleaner, whiter, and less congested. It was almost pristine – with much extra room to move around. Just as quickly as the door closed behind me, they appeared.

The dogs.

My dogs. The dogs I had to leave behind through a marriage separation, now well over two years ago. And they were smiling. C’mon now, no bashing… any dog-lover out there knows what I’m talking about. They DO smile.

I don’t remember actually getting down on the floor, but in the next moment that’s exactly where I was, and where I remained. Chance and Rebel were all over me, and I was all over them. They were both clean as a whistle and smelled so good. There also was no gray in them whatsoever. The dogs weren’t pups, but they certainly weren’t old men, either! Along the empty sides and corners of the room, there were lots of clean blankets and sheets, all neatly folded – there must have been 8-10 of them scattered throughout the room. As time went on I kept grabbing them, unfolding each one and spreading them out for us, all while continuing to love on them. I remember thinking, ‘boy is someone gonna be mad at me for unfolding and messing up all these linens…’, but the dogs were loving it, and loving me. All three of us were so happy and comfortable, in that room.

The tears continue to fall as I write this. This particular visit occurred in a dream I had last night, on Tuesday night.

I believe it all started when I asked my daughter to take a picture so I could see them. I was at work Monday when I received them, and it immediately made me cry. My girlfriends at work saw this and were very sweet and caring – they are good friends and fellow animal-lovers to boot, so they understood without even saying anything. Just to see how gray the little and big guy’s faces had both gotten in two years was shocking – in particular Rebel’s, the boxer.

I’ve tried to force them out of my mind for a long time now because it’s just been too painful to think about. That still remains the case. I guess somehow, unfortunately, love really is associated with pain. Whatever the case is, I do still miss them greatly.

It was a good visit. No, it was better than good. The visit was awesome, even perfect. I hope they visit me again soon. Or should I say… allow me to visit them.

One of the pictures my daughter sent me

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2 responses

  1. Bryan R.

    Bon,
    I’m so glad to have stumbled onto your blog! I had to give up a dear friend in a divorce, a redbone coonhound that was most definitely HER best friend. (Was able to keep my best friend, a lab-husky mix) Several years after the split I had a dream VERY similar to yours where he came bounding in to see me. I knew he would have been close to 8 or 10 years old but he looked like he did at one or two. He was smiling as well and we played throughout the whole dream. At the end of the dream I just got the feeling he was thinking of me and wanted to visit me one more time, to let me know he was ok and, well, he loved me.

    Upon waking I immediately sent out an email to a friend who would know if he was alright. He was. It was just a wonderful visit that I’ll never really forget. Thanks for posting yours and giving me a little confirmation of that experience.

    I’ll be reading along for sure!

    June 22, 2010 at 8:33 am

    • Bonnie

      Bryan, it really warmed my heart to read that you had a similar experience with a dream about your furbaby. Unfortunately, sometimes with divorce it can land them in a bitter custody battle just like children. I’m glad it ended up in your case with both of you ‘doing the right thing’. In my case, I had a cat that was my best friend that went with me, though I still miss my dogs greatly. I’m a big believer in finding reasons for dreams, and this one was definitely the best I can remember in a very long time.

      Thanks so much for your comment and stopping by to read!!

      June 22, 2010 at 4:13 pm

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