To each his own. To me my own.

The Truth

Over the weekend, I had the opportunity to have my Dad over. We cooked out Saturday night and watched a movie afterwards, and the next morning attended service at his church. With it being a 50-mile drive from my home to his church, Keith suggested that him spending the night might make things easier. I can’t express how grateful I was for the opportunity to do this.

I was able to meet Dad’s fellow church members, many of which are elders. Those of us who were early sat on the side pews and conversed amongst each other. I didn’t pay much mind to a kindly gentleman who got up and went back outside, until Dad turned around later and said, “That’s Mr. and Mrs. Q. They can’t take care of each other anymore, and live separately. Every Sunday morning he eagerly waits outside for her to arrive.”

I would estimate Mr. and Mrs. Q to be in their nineties. As I turned around and watched them come ever so slowly down the isle, arm in arm – my heart melted. What I saw wasn’t two elders. I saw a very beautiful couple, each wearing a wide smile. Love radiated outward from them, I mean they actually glowed. It seemed a real-life version of The Notebook, and I found myself wanting to know more about this couple I’d never met.

After church, we went to my great aunt and uncle’s house where they had prepared us a feast for lunch. They recently celebrated 62 years together – not only are they very dear, but very wise. I’d like to give you an example of just how wise.

While seated across the table from them, Uncle N said, “The secret of a long and happy marriage is always telling each other the Truth. No matter what, even if it’s something the other doesn’t want to hear. When you tell them the Truth, it gives them worth. It verifies they are valuable to you.” Aunt D listened intently while nodding her head in complete agreement. Anyone could see how deep in love they still are, even more so, after all these years.

None of us are perfect, for there is but One that is. The trivial things in life are really that – trivial. I see it as black and white, really; the things that actually matter in life are just plain common sense. I believe a couple should respect each other enough to abide by Truth together. I’ve never understood what could be so hard about that.

From the very beginning K and I each made Truth a requirement, not an option. Sure, sometimes it’s going to be something hard to say or hear. Some of these things can and will cause hurt. But if you repeatedly withhold that Truth, deprive a person of it – you’ll see what you have left in the end…


8 responses

  1. Aw sweet and great advice!!

    June 20, 2011 at 8:28 am

    • Bonnie

      Thanks, Vix! 🙂

      June 20, 2011 at 12:18 pm

  2. Elena

    “The secret of a long and happy marriage is always telling each other the truth. No matter what, even if it’s something the other doesn’t want to hear. When you tell them the truth, it gives them worth. It verifies they are valuable to you.” ~~~ truer words have never been spoken. Had to steal this! Love you girl!

    June 20, 2011 at 9:09 am

    • Bonnie

      I thought so too, E – so glad you enjoyed it. I know you appreciate his words as much as I did. 🙂 Love you too!

      June 20, 2011 at 12:19 pm

  3. You had a lovely weekend, Bonnie. Blessings to you…

    June 20, 2011 at 1:50 pm

    • Bonnie

      Thank you, dear Carol Ann. 🙂

      June 20, 2011 at 7:38 pm

  4. helen reynolds

    You are very right about telling the truth no matter what, but what do you do when the “other” person wont listen, tells you what you said is stupid or tells you thats not how you feel? At some point you stop telling them ANYTHING! What do you do when your children start asking you about the way their parent is acting? Do you tell them the truth? This is something that I’ve had to deal with more than once in my life and it never gets any easier. I would love to get some life lessons from Uncle N and Aunt D. They are a wonderful couple as were Dot and Speck.
    I’m so happy you were able to have such a wonderful Father’s Day with your dad!
    Love you!

    June 21, 2011 at 11:08 am

    • Bonnie

      As long as you know you’re honestly telling it like it is to your partner – there’s not much else you can do. I’ve been in that situation myself, Helen, and I agree it does hurt. As far as your children asking about the other parent, that’s a tough one. There are, of course, exceptions across the board when it comes to protecting others – especially one’s children. In this particular post, my main target was your mate – and I still believe complete honesty with each other is the way to go. My old life happened to be the opposite, and abiding by that rule now seems to be working this time around. 🙂

      Yes, Uncle N and Aunt D are great aren’t they? I wish the family reunions were still ongoing. I only got to attend one I think, which I enjoyed very much.

      Love you Helen!! Hope you have a wonderful weekend. 🙂

      June 24, 2011 at 1:17 pm

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