Inconcinnus
We’ve all been caught in an embarrassing position. A scene that, much to our chagrin, turns us red quicker than a freshly boiled lobster. Being caught in a sticky situation makes you wish you could just melt away from it… oh, if it were only that easy.
At this point, I find it very comical that the subject of my last post was about a wedding.
A week ago, my boyfriend’s dear aunt passed away. I never had the pleasure of meeting her, a real shame since I’ve heard many people speak so very highly of her. Realizing a funeral isn’t the optimal situation to meet your boyfriend’s family members, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t looking forward to meeting a few that were coming in from out of state.
In the last few moments before we left, we were saying our final goodbyes. From the beginning, there’s been nothing but positive input and vibes from his family – always making me feel so welcomed. Then, here it comes. (Folks, it took me such by surprise that I can’t remember the exact words used… so I’ll do my best to paraphrase.) Something was asked about how long K and I had been together, to which I replied going on two years now. The conversation ensued from there…
Family member: Oh, you ought to just go ahead and get married.
Me: *red*red* **oh, hail, miss brightass-red** I look over at said family member, shaking my head ever so slightly left-to-right in attempt to avert the subject (wondering which direction my dear K’s sight was aimed as well). I also mouth a NO. Unfortunately, I now realize that this mega-defensive act was likely perceived as a sign that old Bon never again wishes to wed… which of course isn’t the case.
Family member: Oh c’mon… you know you want to!
Me: *screaming to myself on the inside, ‘WHAT DO I DO??’* So I stammer: ohhh… well – we ARE moving in together this summer… **another desperate attempt to thwart said subject matter** (Immediately I realize I could not have picked a more inappropriate time to mention our moving in together… a family funeral, of all things.)
Ugghh… another epic Bon FAIL.
The truth is, I have very strong feelings on the subject. A couple of my close friends feel the same as I do, for very valid reasons. In another lifetime many years ago, I was the first to ‘suggest’ marriage with my now ex-husband – I was two months with child at the time. As the years went along, many of our arguments would result in him ‘reminding’ me of this. Trust me when I say these instances never added any valuable building blocks to the relationship – instead it only allowed hurt and embarrassment to grow and fester within me. The backlash of a southern ‘shotgun wedding’ via the good old Justice of the Peace in York County, SC seemed to always be on the forefront of his mind.
Never again. This is something that can make you feel unworthy for a lifetime.
No, if it ever happens again, it won’t be coming from my mouth. I made a pact with myself a long time ago that I’d never utter words that even hint of it – no siree Bob. Besides, why would I need to when others do it for me?
Life of Bon 
AW no soooo embarrassing and they just didn’t give up! I always have “no man yet?” and then people tell me how they met their partners grrr.
March 16, 2011 at 6:20 am
I was embarrassed and couldn’t think of anything to say, anything worthwhile, anyway. Ah, the ‘no man yet’ question… how nice. Like we as women can’t truly be complete without a man!! Makes me want to claim selective hearing at times. 🙂
March 16, 2011 at 5:46 pm
OOOoooo, I can relate! Your story is similar to mine in March of 2010, but the interrogator was the pastor at our new church. Gulp!
March 16, 2011 at 7:39 am
Oh, Elena – how embarrassing. You and I are a lot alike, and I can just envision you ‘melting’ at that very moment! Good thing you and the mister solved that little problem now, huh?! hee hee hee!! 😉
March 16, 2011 at 5:49 pm
I think K needs to open his mouth and honor you with a proposal. As long as he doesn’t think it matters to you, he, like many men, will carry on without doing what he should. I understand why you want him to bring it up, but you are worth it, Bonnie. I pray for both of you that the question posed and your reaction becomes the impetus that spurs him into doing what he ought to do. Perhaps this unplanned, awkward moment will turn out for your good, Bonnie.
Romans 8:28: And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
March 16, 2011 at 10:53 am
Oh, my dear Carol Ann, I don’t even know how to go about answering this. I questioned the subject of this blog before I wrote it only because I didn’t want it to be considered a ‘hint’ (since I’m very much capable of doing that on my own accord, and have before, lol!) It’s true that neither of us have broached the subject thus far. I believe this is because of a long marriage that, for both of us, resulted in a difficult separation and divorce very recently. I will say this – if and when the time does come, and if our Good Lord wills it… I know what my answer will be. 😉
Blessings to you, my dear friend.
March 16, 2011 at 6:02 pm