27 Jan

It was on this day in 1949 when you were born. A couple months too early, as it turned out. Your Mom had lost her own mother just a month before, and it’s said the grief from that probably sent her into an early labor. 

After several weeks in the incubator, you finally got to go home. Sometimes you’d mention wondering if your parents thought you’d even make it. “After all”, you said.. “they didn’t even have formula – they had to stop on the way home to buy some.” As a newborn, your older brother repeatedly threatened to ‘put you in the ice tray and freeze you’. These stories and many more circulated around my entire childhood, from the mouth of the source, your mother. While I believe they were innocently repeated for humor, it took many years for me to actually see the pain behind that smile. 

Seemed as though the entire world just wasn’t ready yet for Linda.

I have heard you were the apple of your daddy’s eye. Losing him as an eleven year old child had to be awful, along with your two brothers. Back in those days, you knew well enough to keep your mouth shut and not tell anyone your business. Dry your eyes, put on some lipstick, fix yourself. Don’t let anybody else see.

An easy life was not meant for you. I’ve learned that oftentimes the ones who are most loyal and kind, get crapped on the most often – even and especially by those donning the name of family. I always wrestled with why pretty much your whole life seemed so unfair. Still do, at times, if I’m being honest. But, God. Our Father was always there, through every chapter in your life (chapters was your word lol), reminding you of His presence. Our life here is fleeting, dying. If it weren’t for your persistence through the years, Id likely not be living and speaking the Truth today. Praise God for that. Praise God I didn’t run out of time before He found me.

There’s much here I can’t even write about. You know, I know, God knows. You carried many burdens and dealt with unfair judgements which I still struggle with if I think about it too long. Truth is, I don’t remember many times in life where your load wasn’t super heavy. Yet, that was the absolute last thing you ever wanted to be to anyone else – a burden. You’d have carried anything within your power to spare your loved ones suffering. And did. 

I’m still kind of numb to the fact that you’re not here. I do okay most of the time. You’d be proud I think. I’ve pushed it away, honestly. Not an easy place to go. 

I know you won’t see this. I know you’re not “looking down” on me. That was always a bug of ours whenever someone said that. I am looking forward to seeing you again though, Mama. I never thought I could love someone more than you. Oh, but for our dear Savior Jesus. I never knew that kind of love until He rescued me. I’ll be hanging out with Him for what I hope to be a very long while, then I’ll come find you (or you me). Remember our saying, “I’m huntin’ ya!”

Thank you for not giving up on me, Mama. 

We’ve got eternity. And, New Jerusalem’s gonna be spectacular. Dare I say… One for the Ages. 

Revelation 21:4

“And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.”