To each his own. To me my own.

The Times They Are a-Changin’

I didn’t use to think so, but life is packed full of second chances. And thirds, and fourths. As far as an individual goes, there are usually varying opinions as to whether someone is even worthy of another chance. When it involves you personally – it’s ultimately up to you to make that judgement, hopefully weighing everything carefully in order to make the right decision.

A couple of weekends ago, Keith proposed. I said yes.

It’s not something that happened overnight. Over the past month, there has been much take place in the area of damage control and his attempts to fix things. This much I know… he’s a good man. Is he guilty of sitting on his hands for a year? Sure. Is he guilty of cheating on me, hitting me or any type of emotional abuse? No. Have I considered that he may have done this out of desperation and/or a last ditch effort to keep me? Yes, I’ve considered it very well – and  no, he did not. Why do I feel the need for any explanation on my decision? Because I care about what others think – especially so with my family. It also doesn’t escape me that the views my family and friends have of him are largely a result of what they’ve heard from me regarding his commitment issues.

A good friend told me last week, ‘the breakup sucked, but it served a greater purpose for you both’. That’s quite possibly the most insightful statement I’ve heard so far. I’ve said here before that I do regret moving in with a man without being married. I don’t regret moving out a few months ago.

The bare-bones of it all is this… my decision will directly affect my life and my happiness. We, as the natural makers of our own destiny, must hopefully choose the right path which leads to that happiness. Can we ever be 100% sure in making a decision of this magnitude? Of course not – none of us can. All we can do is take time to carefully weigh all the ins, outs, and everything in between… along with lots and lots of prayer.

Of that much I’m sure.

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12 responses

  1. If you are true to yourself you don’t have to fear regret as a result of your decisions. If he is a man who keeps his promises go ahead and forgive him and spend the rest of your life with him. If this is quick fix to buy time and waste your time – dump him. All the best to you follow your heart and listen to the little voices which warn us against doing stupid things.

    April 1, 2013 at 2:18 am

    • You’re right GB, being true to yourself is of the utmost importance. It’s definitely not a quick fix and I’ve taken much time and consideration into my decision. Thanks for your well wishes! xo

      April 1, 2013 at 8:51 am

  2. Congratulations!

    April 1, 2013 at 9:26 am

    • Thanks Thoughtsy!

      April 1, 2013 at 11:54 am

  3. ~Mom

    Time will tell everything. It always does. And if you have a happy life, I’m happy. If you don’t, I’m miserable. But I’m not nearly as bad as the mother in Terms of Endearment! lol ..Love you always.

    April 1, 2013 at 10:21 am

    • You’re right, time does tell everything. I know all you want for me as your daughter is for me to be happy and someone to treat me right. I love you for that, my dear Mom… always.

      April 1, 2013 at 11:56 am

  4. Helen Reynolds

    I left a post but it went POOF and now I’m starting over. First, I’d like to say I’m very happy for you and keith! BUT, I have to know the juicy details!!!!!! When you get a chance give me a call please.:) It will stay between us. If you have a ring please post a pic of it. I really am so very happy for you and Keith and I’m jumping for joy over your engagement!!!! I’m always happy when someone’s dream’s come true. With much love, Helen Please forgive typos My pain meds are kicking my butt .

    April 1, 2013 at 1:44 pm

    • Thank you dear Helen. Really, the only juicy details left would be the personal discussions between Keith and I. We so appreciate your wishes! I’ll keep ya updated as far as a date later. :)

      April 1, 2013 at 3:10 pm

  5. My goodness. I go dark and underground for a couple of weeks and when I resurface, things have indeed changed. I’m simply elated for you Bon. After a something we’ve given our heart to ends, we can sometimes begin to question our judgement that led us to such a low point. But we must learn to trust it again otherwise those lows can become more and more frequent. As others have said, be true to yourself and follow your heart because only then will you know what feels right and what doesn’t.

    Congratulations my dear.

    April 8, 2013 at 7:38 pm

    • Thank you so much, dear Dave. Indeed it’s an about-face that happened. I couldn’t agree more with what you said – ultimately there comes a time in your life when you are forced to reevaluate and go with your own instincts. September 21st will be the day we join as one. :)

      April 9, 2013 at 8:36 am

  6. I’m very happy for you, Bonnie. I, too, believe temporary separation brought clarity and deeper commitment. Blessings to you and Keith…

    April 22, 2013 at 10:30 am

    • Thank you, dear Carol Ann. I believe this too, with all my heart.

      April 22, 2013 at 1:18 pm

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